


Delayed Onset

by FloatingCowskull



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Beta!dean, Civil Rights Movement, F/M, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multiple Partners, Omega Rights Movement, Omega Verse, Omega!Gabriel, Polygamy, Sabriel - Freeform, Social Justice Issues, WIP, alpha!cas, omega!Sam, power struggles, side destiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-19
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-01-13 01:51:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 52,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1208359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloatingCowskull/pseuds/FloatingCowskull
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sam discovers he is an Omega, he begins to see in new light on the treatment of Omegas in a heavily Alpha dominated society.    Coming to terms with having to join a pack and his inferior status drives him to fight for the Omega cause.  Cas and Dean also fall in love.   college au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“What do you mean, ‘showing definite signs of **delayed omega hormone onset** ’?’” said Sam, trying to keep it together in the Doctor office.  

Dean smiled, his eyebrows raising in disbelief. “Are you trying to tell me my little brother is an Omega?”   The accusation in the tone was now audible as Dean realised the GP wasn’t joking with them.  Dean pointed.  “Him.  My little brother.   6’ 4  Sammy.   An omega?”

“Well, there are a few more tests I can run, but your bloodwork is pretty conclusive.  After a few shots of progesterone, your biology will – as we say – catch up with you.”    The man smiled, but Sam looked faint.  Dean rubbed a hand to his temple and looked around, seemingly searching for some backdoor solution to the problem.

“Ok, well… just don’t give him the shots.  Then he’ll stay a Beta, right?”   Dean huffed.

“Look, I’m sorry,” the man began.  “It’s rare, certainly, but not unheard of for the transition not to be triggered by puberty.  Moreover, there are some pretty extreme side effects if we do not act now.” He gestured to Sam, “The later your first heat, the more painful the symptoms – to put it delicately.”

There was a shift, Sam almost squirming in his chair.  The doctor continued “… at 20, I would even go so far as to prescribe some light suppressants to help with the pain”.  

Dean thanked the receptionist, but all the way back to the car, Sam looked white.  The receptionist had given him a small temporary bracelet and the papers for the Omega clinic, with an appointment next week, but really it was the look of contempt Sam had received that irked him the most, settling down in his stomach.  He wasn’t quite moping, but growing up in a firmly beta household there was no way to take this well.   There was silence on the drive home.

“So how’s the essay on Oscar Wilde going?  Any thoughts on Professor Alastair’s torture-inducing timetable for next semester?”  Eventually Dean pulled into the driveway, the impala jerkily coming to a stop in the garage.

“Sam look.”   Dean reached over, taking Sam’s wrist in an attempt to stop him getting out of the car, his fingers retracting when they touched the bracelet that was now going to permanently sit there.  “Sam, I know we’ve been raised not to…” he hesitated.  “I know Dad was prejudiced.  Hell, he was damn offensive at times.  But this isn’t the end of the world.  Times have changed, it’s not the 1920’s anymore Sammy.  You don’t…”

Sam cut him off, getting out of the car.  “I know Dean.  You think I don’t know how that man thought about the whole struggle.  But he always. Always. Thought he had raised his boys out of that system, and he was damn proud not to be a part of that.”

“I know Sammy…”

“No you don’t Dean,” Sam cut back, steadying his voice away from anger.

“You’ve been an Omega for 2 hours.  You think I don’t know what that means?”   He hesitated.  “Sammy I…”

“I know Dean.   I just need some space to gather my thoughts.”

They both closed the garage and went inside the house.  The warm smell of dinner came out of the smallish kitchen where Meg and Garth were cooking dinner.  A pot was bubbling over on the stove and Dean, leaning against the bench, opened the pot and gave a quick stir to the only food the pair could be trusted completely not to burn.  

Garth began some idle chatter about the day, his constant pleasant attitude had been a welcome addition to the share house this semester.   Not that they had been surrounded by Drama, but it was nice around exam time and he was surprisingly good with his hands.

“So Samquatch, how did the checkup go?  Do we need to find an extra roommate?” he teased but Sam gave a look that made the room tense.

Meg spoke up “Everything ok?”

Sam rubbed his temple and suddenly Dean was standing there offering a beer.

Sam looked up, there was no polite way to put this.  “Apparently...” he began.  “I am an Omega.”

Garth and Meg shifted slightly, their faces going from quite shocked to almost amused, Meg spoke up “Well I did not see that coming." 

“Yeah, a few injections and I’ll be a regular pack bitch” Sam joked, the tension in the room somewhat relieved, but it was still odd to joke about it.  

Dean gave him a half smile, and then asked, “So how long until dinner?”

It ended up being a good half an hour until dinner was on the table and everything was ready for a sit down meal.  Meanwhile Sam went up to his room and put the forms on his desk, pushing aside the chemistry textbook and coffee cups from this week’s turmoil.  Exams were over but his stress headaches hadn’t let up. Dean had joked it was due to overstudying, but his brother had genuinely worried and thus dragged him out of the house to actually check it out.  The doctor’s visit was only supposed to amount to some painkillers.

This was too much.  He rubbed the bracelet on his arm, a reminder that he was now officially classed as the lesser, for some seemingly abstract reason.  He had never thought Omega’s lesser, but it still felt odd.  Not perhaps as odd as the knowledge he could give birth.   Odd.   Really odd.   Betas were, for the most part the same as Alphas, male Betas anyway, he couldn’t speak for females.

He sat at the small desk and began to fill out the form.

‘ _Name’_ Samuel Winchester

 _‘Date of Birth’_ May 2 1993

_‘Commencement of Heats’_

He paused and sighed again.  Another thing to worry about.  Omegas had been able to study at any university for 20 years now, the passing of the discrimination act a triumph for activists worldwide.  But most of his classes, the societies, the student resources, were aimed and targeted for Alphas.  It was like a clenching anger that gripped him, it had always seemed unfair certainly, but now it was about him.  Now he was going to be affected by it.

 _‘Commencement of Heats’_ 2013

Sam realised he would have to drop from the Beta student union.   Join the Omega one.  It did entitle him to 15% off coffee throughout the university this year.  An awareness program, supposedly highlighting the current average wage gap in most industries despite the equality acts.   The program had only been agreed to because of the lack of Omegas at the university.  Oh. Another thing to think on.

‘ _Claim status/ under 18’_

Sam blinked.  Most Omegas, at least, if tv and movies were to be believed, had been claimed by an Alpha at 17/18.   Legally, you couldn’t claim someone until they were a technical adult – pre 1995 it had been 14 with parental consent, remembering from first year law.

Unclaimed.  

He shook his head a bit, this was all a bit much to take in.  It occurred to him, that he was now, nothing more than a object in the eyes of most alphas, at least that’s how they were presented.   Traditionally, they were confined to the home.  The nuclear pack.  A main Alpha, generally male, but gender equality had been common long enough for it to seem inconceivable to think of an alpha female as anything less than an alpha male. Then the alpha’s main omega, or sometimes beta.  And then the lesser omegas, 5 or 6.

Betas joined packs but it was coming more common for two betas to couple off.  Sam had always thought that was where he was headed.  His father had always pushed monogamy.   It was unheard of, simply unheard of, for an Omega not to be with an Alpha.  

He swallowed hard.  Tomorrow he didn’t have classes, he would go to the clinic. Oh god.  It was all becoming a bit too much.

Meg tapped lightly on the door.  It was already open, but she figured he needed a little privacy and a lot of space.   "Dinner Sam, you feeling hungry?  It didn’t turn out half bad for once. Well the garlic bread looks alright”

Sam smiled and got up from his desk.  He was hungry, but his stomach was still somewhat knotted up after everything that had happened.  They walked down the upstairs hall to see Ruby coming down the stairs, the fifth and final member of the household.

They had had a brief fling last year, but it hadn’t worked out.  “Hey Sam,” she greeted.

“I’m going to leave you two alone.” Meg walked ahead of the pair. Sam smiled at Ruby.

There was no glossing over the fact, they all needed to know.   

“Is that a…” Ruby said pointing at his wrist as they reached the landing.

“Yeah, apparently, I’m a very late bloomer.”  Sam remarked.

There was nothing much of tension remaining between them, but Ruby’s next remark took Sam a little aback.

“It’s funny.  I didn’t notice anything while I was down there.  And I like to think of myself as pretty thorough.” She gave him a quick wink and they both went into the dining room.  Sam felt himself blushing a little.  Since Ruby had started going out with some teaching assistant she had begun teasing him again.

But as he sat at the table the thought sunk in.  Sex education was mainly focussed on Alpha and Beta bodies, with a quick nod to how Omegas worked.  But the basic fact remained.  Omega males were somewhat like girls, shouldn’t he have something ‘down there’.  God, shouldn’t his Dad have included this in the sex talk.  

Dinner was fine, the pasta only mildly overcooked and the household at ease after exams.   No one brought up his new inferior status, but it seemed to sit about him.  There was no way to reconcile it within himself, but he hoped eventually this feeling of inadequacy might go away.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Sam poured himself a bowl of cereal, and attempted to keep his eyes open.   He sipped his coffee, it was simply too early for this.   The clock read about 6:45, which was earlier than any of his classes called him to wake up for, and there was none of matchstick-under-the-lid pressure of studying or a last minute assignment to keep him awake.  

None the less it helped him think, and having made his mind up to go to the Omega clinic today, he wanted a moment of peace this morning.      

“DING DING ding-a-ling-a-DING DINGDINGDING DOOOONG,” a rather deep human voice called out.  No-one in the house admitted to having replaced the chimes for this joke doorbell. Sam’s money was on Dean, but his brother had sworn it was Ruby.  

He made it to the door, trying to find the will to smile at this ridiculous hour.   Opening the handle he saw the face of a 20-something private package service deliverer.  The logo on the shirt reading: ‘A to B Deliver-ee’.  

“Please sign” the man said with a somewhat forced smile.

“Sure dude.” Sam replied, taking he clipboard and looking down the page.  It was for Meg.

“Why so early?” Sam asked as scribbled the incoherent loops of ‘Winchester.’

“I know, man it - …” he trailed off looking at the cuff.

The guy reached out suddenly and grabbed Sam’s shoulder.

“What the Hell!” Sam spat a little back.

The guy looked a little affronted, but his grip was tight and Sam was pulled forward at an angle, his neck now in line with the guys nose – oh wait.  ‘Yep of course’ Sam thought to himself.

The man sniffed across his neck and face, before releasing him and handing him the package.

Sam tried not to look puzzled or odd, about the whole thing, it was customary for Alphas to scent Omegas on greeting, especially unclaimed ones.   It happened all around him, it had just never happened to him.

He tried to stand up straighter when the man looked him in the eyes, asserting what was left of any dominance he had.  The man instead glared at him, his hand, Sam now realised, was still clenched around his wrist.  Sam averted his eyes and pulled his arm back slightly, supposing that was how you were supposed to respond if rejecting an Alpha.  Not that his guy was trying to claim him.  Sam hoped at least.

Sam shut the door and put the parcel on the kitchen table.  It was actually quite weighty for its size, about the size of a large magazine, but it was Meg’s business, and Sam wasn’t going to pry.

“Sammy, what you doing up so early?” Dean came into the room with a dressing down on and his hair sleep ruffled.    “And who was at the door?”

“Just a delivery for Meg.” Sam replied, a little shocked at how alert he himself was.

Dean nodded and closed his eyes, gripping the railing and returned upstairs to the bedrooms.  “Go back to bed little brother,” he shouted out from the top.

 

***

 

Half an hour later Sam was pulling up to the Omega clinic, the clock on the dashboard read 7:36.   He sat back in the driver’s seat and took a deep breath.   He picked up the papers and his wallet from the passenger side and opened the car door.    

It wasn’t warm enough for him to leave his jacket in the car, but it was going to heat up by midday.  He put the jacket back on the seat and instead opted for grabbing a book out of the glove compartment.  He went for the tattered old copy of ‘History of Classical Greece,'  well it was better than his brother's small menagerie of Vonnegut, which were best left to be pondered over without the pounding headache that had formed over on the drive.

Sam walked through the parking lot and up to the main clinic.  There was a path off to the side, leading through to a main courtyard where a crowd had gathered, mostly rugged up and appeared to be holding signs.  They were too far away to make out.

Inside he walked through the main hall, the walls covered in various posters ‘Taking your _Place_  in thePack’ and ‘Omega Heath – Reproduction and your rights’ as well as ‘Pap smears – Vital for Female and Male Omegas’.  There were a few tables with pamphlets and little cards, and several graphic diagrams of body parts.

When he went through the arch to the waiting room, it was mostly empty.  The receptionist was typing up something from a file to the computer when Sam cleared his throat.  The man behind of the counter took a second, but grinned up at Sam in a way only bored desk worker can.

“Pardon me, but are you able to process Subgender application forms here?”

The receptionist glanced up to Sam’s head, which in all fairness, towered over the counter. An expression of surprise, bordering on shock appeared on his face.

“With ID, and medical evaluation I can have you in the system in a jiffy.” The man paused.  “Are you sure you’re not already in the system sir?

“Positive.” Sam replied, leaning his elbow on the counter.  “What’s going on out the back?”  

“They are from one of the puritanic religious groups.” he said, shrugging.  Sam raised his eyebrows.

“They like to protest things like providing free heat suppressants, omega condoms uh… contraceptives.  Anything that takes away from Omegas ability to submit, and the sanctity of an Alphas soul bond with his pack.”  

Sam nodded and took a seat, he pulled out his book.  The wait wasn’t long but he had time to do some reading for next semester's mandatory history credit.

_A systematic break down of Warrior Pack Structure in pre 371 BC Sparta – Prof P. Cartledge_

_Spartan warrior class was based on the principals of eugenics; the principal focus was the breeding of an idealised warrior.  Without Betas and Omegas, the tension within the society was considerably high, with all non-alpha children killed.  The only noted non-alphas were allowed to survive were found within the diarchy.  Within this system of producing idealised warriors, the entire society could be considered one giant superpack, the superiors found in the Gerousia, or high council.    Each citizen, or Homoi, was assigned a breeding partner at the completion of the Agoge, and it was customary for the more fertile alpha females to be shared around in order to ensure the virility of the succeeding generation. Tyrtaeus and Alcman recorded this within…._

Sam trailed off reading the passage, his name called out from the doctor in room 3.  

The doctor ushered him to the chair and sat behind the desk.  She was dressed smartly, pants and a shirt with a vest.   Her sleeves were rolled back to the elbow and he could see the cuff on her wrist.

“Mr Winchester, I see you have been referred for your delayed onset, must be quite a shock to hear this at such an age.  No need to worry however, after a quick physical and some shots, you will be, legally at least, a fully-fledged Omega and we can officially register you.”

It wasn’t long before his feet in the stirrups and his pants folded neatly on the table.  She put on some rubber gloves and began to examine his privates.  He tried not to focus on the coolness of the latex, but it was somewhat uncomfortable to be undergoing the entire thing at all.

“So is everything ok?” he asked, trying not sound shakey.   At least he had the good sense not to make the age old ‘at least buy me dinner first.’

“You're all fine, nothing to worry about – just a very late bloomer.” She smiled warmly, clearly well practiced in reassurance.   “Now roll up your sleeve.”

She took off the disposable gloves and grabbed a tray with a rather large needle on it.   There was a pinprick of pain as she injected it into his upper arm, rubbing cotton wool soaked in something over the spot.    

“That should finalise the process, in about 15-20 days you should go into your first heat.  Usually I don’t recommend going through your first heat with an Alpha, but at your age it will be unpleasant, and long.   In about an hour, your body should have absorbed enough of the hormones as to start producing the correct amount of pheromones for someone of your age.   And on a final note, don’t operate heavy machinery in the next few hours.  Here is the clinics number if you have any problems.”  

She handed him a standard pamphlet on omegas and the facility's business card, customised for her, Doctor Harvelle.  Another 20 minutes was gone before he was finished with the paperwork in the waiting room.  And when the receptionist handed back his licence, a new one thus being issued and mailed to him, he realised that he couldn't drive home this morning.

The clock on his smartphone said it was only half past 9, and he was the only early bird in the share house.  He scrolled down his contacts before he reached Jo.

It took a few rings but she did pick up – a good sign.

“Hey Jo?”

“Sam?” she said, her voice a little sleepy.

“I need to call in a favour.”

“Ok Sammy, what do you   -yawn- need?”

“Could you please pick me up, poorly planned my morning and now I can’t drive home.”

“Sure” she said, he heard the jingle of keys on the other side of the line. “Where are you right now?”

“The clinic near your house,” Sam replied.  He could almost hear the surprise through the line.  

“Ok Sam, but I think you have some explaining to do when I get there.”  she said before hanging up.

Sam put the phone in his jeans went and sat on one of the small benches out the front of the main building, the crowd faintly chanting something in the distance.  Jo had probably never even pulled into this place, being an Alpha and all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first spn story I've posted, and my first attempt at writting within the ABO trope. Wanted to play around with its worldbuilding - hope you guys like :)


	3. Chapter 3

They were back on Jo’s couch before he really registered the change in her behaviour.   She seemed to tiptoe around him.   But it was the eye-contact, or lack thereof that pushed him over the edge.

“Are you sure you’re all right Jo?” he said, taking a sip of the tea she had made him.

“I’m fine Sam, but uh…” she tried to trail off, but he caught her eyes with a stare.  “You smell.”

Not what he had expected.

“You smell like raw meat and sex,”   she said frankly.

Really unexpected.  He tensed a little.  He trusted Jo, they were old friends from high school and were taking the same degree at uni, with different majors. But he reminded himself, that for all their history, he was now an Omega, and she an Alpha.

“It’s an old expression,” she explained, the silence had settled again, on top of everything else that now sat between the easy friendship they usually shared.

“It means, ‘ripe for the picking’ or ‘ready to be claimed’ I guess.”  Made sense he thought.

“You actually smell more like… I don’t know.  Almost sweet – not quite. You smell rich, like those over infused colognes.   It’s really quite strange to scent it from you,” she continued.

He took another sip, it was an odd position to be in really.   He sniffed his tea.  It was green, with a berry component.  

“Should I be able to smell you, Jo?” he asked, looking down into his cup.  “Like an Omega would smell an Alpha?”   

She smiled at him.  The entire situation seemed a little ridiculous to her, most Omegas were not over 5’5, none of the ones in her pack were.  

“Probably not yet. Give it a month.”

He put the tea down on the coffee table in her living room.   He knew Alphas.  He knew many Alphas.  But he trusted Jo, perhaps this was the solution.

She shifted a little in her seat before offering, “Would you like to smell?”

Jo stood up from her chair and pushed back her blonde hair back from her neck, the v neck top exposing the edge of her collar bones and tendons along her throat.  Sam rose and walked over to her.  Leaning down, he went to scent her neck, closing the foot difference in their heights.

“Ok stop,” she said, stepping back.

“Sam, first up, if an Alpha lets you scent them, you can’t..” she remarked waving her hands.  “You can’t… uh… Take control.   You’re not the dominant one.  That’s not how it works.”

Sam felt himself grumble internally.   She’s been raised to be an Alpha.  This was second nature to her.

“Ok.  What’s the proper way to do this then?”  Sam asked.

“You should offer your neck first, then if they're polite and have a little bit of decency they will offer it back.”

“Should I kneel?” he asked.

She laughed.  “No, no.  You can, but it would be like bowing to a lady and kissing her hand.  And uh… never kneel for guy, they’ll probably bite you there and then.  Your Alpha will fight them and you’ll find yourself a little more marked than is polite to show.”

He nodded.  Sam was, at least in her eyes—  No.  In everyone’s eyes—  the thing that needed protection.  Taken to be used.   It took him a second to grasp that.  It didn’t feel tangible.  24 hours ago, he was a Beta.  Same rights.  Basic human rights.  And a little bit of fucking respect. And now he was, purely due to his body, going to spend the rest of his life being looked down on.   An hour ago, she would have never made that joke.  When he was born, Omegas didn’t have the right to vote across the country.   And the state over – they needed to be in a pack to do so.   It was like some cruel joke the universe decided to play on him.  His stomach contorted, and flared with a heat. A new anger spread within him.

“Sam?”   

“Sorry – just a bit tired.”  It was a cop out. But he was a little tired. Perhaps she did understand how he was feeling.  It wasn’t inconceivable, Alphas had to take mates, maybe they felt screwed by the system as well.  But Sam doubted it.  

“Want to lie down? There’s a bedroom down the hall that’s free.”  She had moved since the last time he had been over, and the new house was sizeable.  “Left and then right,  – along to the bluish door.”

Sam made his way through the living room and into a long hallway with large windows overlooking a small garden making a glass box, with two short hallways running off it.  Across the other side of the little area he could see a balcony opening into the courtyard.   The house was a single story but it sprawled outwards, utilising the space of the large block.  

A voice spoke up as he enjoyed the view through the large glass panels.  “The bedrooms overlook the courtyard.”

Sam snapped up.   There was a guy, maybe 23, 24.  Not much older than him.  Yawning, he walked over to Sam.

“Hi,  - Michael,”   he gestured, then offered a hand.

“Sam.” They shook, and Michael's posture changed when he noticed the cuff on Sam's wrist.   He leaned in a little then pulled back.

“Uh.  Jo said there was a spare bedroom I could lie down in”  

There was a puzzled look on Michael's face, then, “Oh yes.  Gabriel's out visiting his parents at the moment,”  he pointed through the glass towards the door.  


“So are you considering joining?”  he said looking a little smug.

‘Ahh.’ Sam thought. ‘Fraternity.’

“Not really, too busy for the parties, the cleanup, more my brother's scene if you have an opening.”  Sam tried to be polite, it was more Dean's scene in truth, but they were close enough to campus for Dean to indulge leisurely with his female classmates.

A red haired women walked up the hall, coming from the other set of bedrooms.                                

“Hey Anna,” Michael greeted.

The odd handshake was repeated with her and Sam excused himself for a rest, making a mental note to google the proper greetings between Omegas.  Why didn't they teach this?   They probably did, he concluded, he just wasn't taught.   But he made a mental note to ask Jo where she learned the customs related Alpha. There was probably a book.

He opened the door to find a neatly laid out bedroom, a Queen sized mattress and desk, along with one bookshelf of classics and one containing – and Sam swore he wasn't prying – books like ‘Survive a zombie Apocalypse on a budget’  ‘how to tell if your pets are plotting your death’ and ‘When you get to heaven, don’t flirt with the Angels.'   

He sat on the bed and flicked off his shoes.  There was a crunching when he pushed pack.  Pulling back the top blankets revealed candy wrappers of every variety.  And a few with foreign languages on them, Swedish, Norwegian.  Even some Arabic and Hebrew wrappers.  And what had probably been a neat pile of international sugar had now spread out over the bed.   Sam gathered them up and put them on the desk, smiling at the ridiculousness of the gesture, fluffed the pillows a little, lay down and went to sleep.  There was a deep scent in the pillow, which drew Sam into slumber, warm and happy and serene. He closed his eyes and drifted off.

 

***

 

By the time Dean woke up, his Alarm clock had chimed 4 times, the relentless droning sound ringing in his dreams as he saw the ghosts he had been fighting disappear, the ceiling of his bedroom taking their place when his eyes opened.

It was 9:30.  He had half an hour to get to the morning lecture.  To Dean’s credit, he made it into the door just as it shut.  It was a talent he had perfected in his two years.  It was the final lecture in his ‘intro to Accounting.'  For some –praise the lord–  reason it counted as his math credit, and he only needed one.  

It was dull as ever, his notes filled with little squiggles and eyes.  Bat eyes, evil eyes, demon eyes.   The dead, lifeless eyes of the students and professor, the entire room going through the motions.   Except.  There was one straight back as he looked down across the heads to the bottom of the lecture hall.   Brown hair, ruffled a little, but it was hard to tell at this distance whether that was bed hair or over-styling. And if the shoulders weren't so square he might have guessed female.   

The projector clicked over to the final blank side and Dean almost shed a tear of joy.  Now he could focus on his major with none of the Universities mandatory learning requirements to trip up his literary focused brain.   He walked through campus; the day was pleasant and warm.   The remaining weight of his accounting exam about to be cut off from his worries.  But at least for the moment, the content was finished.  Unfortunately, his housemates had finished all their exams.   

The library was mainly empty, being the end of semester Dean went to the one of the quite study rooms on level 3.   He typed up the final section of his accounting notes.  Read through them.  Read through them again.  Made dotpoints in his notebook.   Summarized.  And finally read through them again.  There was a very good reason this was not his major.

It was a quarter to two before the drowsy afternoon heat, started to wear at his patience for this subject and pull at his eyelids.      He packed his things in his bag and pulled out his phone.

Sam got up and swiped across the drunk photo of his brother on the front.

“Sammy!”

“How’s it going?”  Sam said pulling himself up and out of the bed, slipping his shoes back on.

“Not good. Accounting is, as accounting was, little brother.  It is the Bob Ewell to my Tom Robbinson, Sammy.”

Sam laughed.  “You need 50% and the exam includes an essay.”

“Your point?”  

“I’ll see you at home Dean.”  

Sam put the phone back in his pocket and neatly rearranged the covers, suspicious wrappers and all.   His brother really could be an idiot sometimes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is surprisingly fun to write. Hope I'm not overdoing it with the 'position of the Omegas' thing, but it always pisses me off when its not exlored, or the whole social justice thing is not fleshed out. I know the Omegaverse is for kinky kinky smut, but theres like, deeper meaning and stuff. Parrallels with society. things. meaning. 
> 
> I may also be a little afraid of writting anything kinky in the Omegaverse. oh god. writting is hard.


	4. Chapter 4

****

Meg was sitting at the dining room table when Dean walked through the house.

He had just put his books down in his room upstairs when Meg shouted out,“Sam's not back yet – and Garth is in Purgartory.”

Purgatory was one of the bars around here that was kept in business, and in not-so-tidy profit due to students post exam time.

“And I _was_ SLEEPING,” called out Ruby.   

Meg smirked and went back to her book, a leather-bound copy of The Twin Towers, lent to her by Dean.   

Dean sat back on the couch, letting the paper he had collected from the semester sprawl out around him.   He took out his phone and earbuds, sorted through his memos and pressed play.      Taking a deep breath, he let his voice begin reiterate the principals of accounting:

**_Objectives of Financial accounting – or ‘fuck, what the fuck fuck fuck’_ **

**_Systematic recording of transactions:_ ** _basic objective of accounting is to systematically record the financial aspects of business transactions (i.e. book-keeping). These recorded transactions are…._

 

***

 

Sam thanked Jo and decided to walk back to the car.   It was one of the those days that required a long walk.   He turned into clinics street, stopping briefly at a little coffee shop for something with the necessary caffeine.

And then it hit him like the cool change that had come in that afternoon.  Jo.  Fraternity.   God, he could be an idiot sometimes.   Truly stupid.  Ridiculously, slap-himself-in-the-face-with-a-goddamn-law-textbook stupid.

She was an Alpha.  And that was her pack.

He drove home a little possessed.   The radio was on, music program intermitted with talking, but Sam didn’t even notice.  He had never really considered how they – he – we…  how it all worked.  Fuck.  School rush traffic.  And fuck, he was going to have to join a pack.

There was also the other deeper realisation that hit him.  Michael, Anna, and… Gabriel.  They were Jo’s mates? They were her pack.   They submitted to her.  She controlled them.  She had that right.

Maybe she didn’t use it?  It's Jo.  She couldn’t be like that.  This controlling forceful Alpha, demanding and entitled to … them.  Their bodies.  Their  lives.

It had never seemed odd before. That was what happened.  But the reality of it all kept rolling about in his mind, like he was meeting with his friend after years apart and she had changed almost completely.   As if there was a new authority about her.  But ultimately, he thought turning into his street, he was the one who had changed.

***

“Sammy, you bitch.”  His face was soaked, Sam standing above him holding a glass of icy water.

“Jerk.  You fell asleep.” His tone shifted to serious. “And you need to study, it’s getting dark already.”

Sam went to the kitchen to help with dinner.  Ruby was cooking, so the food was going to be more than edible.

Looking around, Dean saw that the papers were in piles on the coffee table, along with his headphones and textbook.   And pulling up from the couch, a towel fell off the back.  Sam was a considerate little bitch.  Dean tossed the wet towel into the laundry basket and went to change his shirt.

“So how did it go today Sam?”

Ruby was chopping carrots into fine long strands.  Noddles boiling on the stove along with a strong smell of garlic and chili flakes.  She handed him a bowl with hard boiled eggs in it.

“Peel and answer.  Chop Chop!”  She waved the knife around and Sam started on the shells.

“I’m fine.  Everything’s fine.  A lot to think on.” He managed to pull off a large bit of shell and plopped it into the scrap bowl.  It was less awkward with Ruby that it felt with Jo.  Not a good sign.

“My sister is an Omega.” Ruby began, “…she was 11 when she found out though.” She put the chopped carrots in the pot.  “My parents are both Betas so it was a little bit of a shock.  All the Alpha boys used to fawn over her.      I was too young to understand why all the attention on my sister and not me.”

She hesitated.

“But the first time it made sense was when she came home at 14 with a claim mark on her shoulder.  She joined the pack of a family friend.   Went through all her heats at home though, being underage and all.   _The size of that bite_ – none of the boys would even dare look her in the eye.  And she was the first Omega in her class to join a pack, so maybe that had something to do with it.   It was completely different for her.”

Sam nodded, she went on “ – All I’m saying is, we’re not part of that.  We don’t see that.  It’s different for them –  ”

“ – you.”  Sam took a breath.  “ It’s different for you.”

She smiled apologetically at him, “I guess so.  Look, all I’m saying is, its OK to let this be a big thing. It is.”

He hoped that wasn’t pity in her eyes.  But he could never tell with Ruby, and she could be cruel and cold.

“Thanks Ruby.”

Over dinner no one mentioned Sam missing breakfast, and apart from Ruby, no one wanted to mention it.

“So what was in the package?” Sam asked, feeling somewhat responsible for the tension.

Meg looked up, a grin working her cheeks apart. “I would tell you Sam, but then….I would have to murder that pretty little face of yours.”

Ruby laughed at that, and Dean rolled his eyes.  Meg liked to flirt with Sam to annoy Dean, they had had a fling back in Alastair’s first semester creative writing class, more flirting and making out on the large parkland as part of the campus than anything serious. But they still liked to give each other looks, hint and nudge while they were both unattached.  Both chicken shit to close it down.

Everyone’s mobile buzzed at the table, little pings of different apple text tones.

It was Garth with a group message:

_//Guys. Guys.   The band.  You need to get down here.//_

Dean texted back

_//Are you drunk?//_

Everyones phone went off again.

_//Dean – full sentence typing.  Should be watching The fizzles.  Amazing.//_   


“Guys go.  I need to study, exams are finished.  You go party.  Get your groove on.  Back by midnight.”  Dean got up suddenly and started clearing the half-eaten plates.   There was something weighing on his mind, Sam observed.   But in this state, there was no way he was going to share and in his experience it was best to do what he said and come back to the fall out.  Then pick up the pieces.  

But Sam also knew that wasn’t going to come until the exam was over.  So as Dean waved the three out the door, Sam called back “Go find someone to help you – Stop avoiding!”

They met up with Garth in Purgatory, and he bought the first round.  The music was loud and enjoyable.  Not middle of dinner worthy, but decent.  Thankfully, there was a little table on the mezzanine level which they all could huddle about with their drinks.  Beer.  Because Garth.

The conversation turned towards school rather quickly.

… “All I can say is that Topology final was Garthed."  The group laughed.  


“You complain and complain about Maths, but the moment anyone tries to suggest that’s there’s difficulty in the Arts you through a hissy fit,” said Ruby.

“It’s a shallow crime of passion, mother number calls to me.” Garth replied.

“Ding ding ding, English major.” Meg gestured to herself   “Much effort.  Publishers.  It’s not all 10th grade metaphors and Shakespeare essays”  

“You're worse than my brother,” laughed Sam, putting down his empty beer bottle.  “I’ll go get the next round.”

He walked through the crowd and down the stairs, taking hold of the railing to steady himself.  He was still a little lightheaded from this morning.  Perhaps the drinking wasn’t the best idea.  He reached the last step when he felt a hand pat his arse.

He turned around startled.  

“Oh, looks like a Pretty boy.”  The hand was part of a group.   Reeking of unused bravardo and testosterone. Sam pulled his hand away.

He felt the cuff shift against his clenched hand.  Oh.

One of the guys put his hand forward.  He wasn’t taller than Sam, but there was unquestioned authority in the action.  Sam moved his shoulder down, thinking of Jo and wanting this moment to end.   They had this right.  He could probably take one of them in a fight.  But it meant nothing.  His size, his strength, anything he did.  Because this was allowed, this was normal and unquestioned.

It hurt Sam, something slicing at him.  Cutting cleanly, exposing the fresh wound to the air.  He found himself standing straighter.  Pushing past the guys.  The suddenness startled them as Sam found himself mingled amongst the sweaty bodies of the dance floor.  His heart was pounding.

He knew how to fight.  He was out of practice, certainly, but Sam had some experience to draw on.  The same feeling of struggling gripped him, aggression and being defeated.  The feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he was in the middle of punch but his whole body was jammed and he couldn’t throw his arm forward.  Only take the hit.

He walked out of the mass and shuffled his way to the bar.  

“Id?”   Sam reached for his wallet and pulled out his driver’s licence.

“Nice try.”   The guy moved over to serve the next person.

Sam pulled a face and glared “Seriously?  How can you claim that’s fake, do I look 17?”

He started pouring drinks for the women next to Sam. “Omega.  I can see your cuff.  Take it off next time – you almost got me.”

Sam walked back to his table, a little more vigilant this time.  

“We were just saying Sam,” Meg said as he pulled out a stool.  “Theres still a few events on Campus before everything wraps up...”

“What?  No drinks” Ruby cut in.

Garth looked from Sam to Ruby.  He nodded gently and then gave Sam a half smile. Meg widened her eyes a little, remembering.  Omegas needed to be 21 to purchase alcohol.

“... anyway, do you want to go on one of the rights marches.   I hear the banners are very persuasive.”    Meg finished.

Sam looked up at his friends.   “Yeah, sounds good.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I wrote this, and subsequently reviewed where this is all headed I reached a crushing realization that the drinking age in America is 21. I apologize profoundly for this slip up, but I thankfully thought of a way around it. I also extend my deepest sympathies for all the legal adults, who can vote, drive, be convicted with the death penalty, fight and die for the country, willfully buy knifes, smoke cigarettes, get married, have children – But can’t be trusted to consume alcohol with responsibility. Sucks to be you.
> 
> Also I plan on writing a chapter every 3 days. Need to get into habit of writing


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

Dean paced around the kitchen.    He needed help.   He’d cleared the plates and the dining table was filled with his books, the sight of the coloured binders, various papers causing the sense of worry within him to grow.  The dishes were done, and he had no excuse not to be working.

Taking a deep breath, he sat down at the table.   The sound of the wooden chairleg and floorboards made a satisfying noise as he shuffled the chair forward, looking for just the right angle for his body.

He straightened his pens and pulled out his summary notes.  His eyes skimmed over the first paragraph, the words staying on the page.   He stopped and turned on some music, his phone resting on the table.   Returning to his notes, he made it halfway down the page before the sense of worry gripped him again.  He had to pass.  He had to pass and none of this was not going into his head.

He reached for his phone, and went to his contacts.

/ _Charlie!  I need a favour, you have a person for everything, I need someone for accounting.  Please. //_

Dean got up to make some herbal tea to sooth his nerves.   Drinking while a headache set in was, admittedly, the least of his worries, but…

_/Dean!  Unfortunately, it’s going to cost you this time.  I’m handing out flyers at the Omega rights rally tomorrow, join me at the booth and she’s yours.//_

_/Oh, and Dean, I should probably mention the she is a he – so I can’t speak to the makeout sessions post passing the class//_

Dean smiled, this was the the third time he had invoked Charlie's seemingly endless web of people who could help you things - particularly academic, but Dean had needed some metalwork done for the medieval reenactment club and Charlie had come through.   The last had been, if Dean was being entirely honest, absolute beauty.    And straight, which probably shouldn't have surprised Dean as much as it did. After they both received distinctions in ‘Angelic Motifs in 19th Century love ballads’ they had shared a quick kiss. Nothing more.  She was an Omega.  So it hadn’t worked out for obvious reasons.   

Charlie had probably known that.  Dean flicked a look at the text again.  Maybe Charlie was trying to set him up.   So that meant beta.  Ok. Well, not ok.  He wasn’t quite ready for a guy, sure he could think about them, recognise something within himself that maybe, might-be, could-possibly, but in the end, going through was a whole other matter.  But at least no-one was going to judge him for dating a guy.  Unless that guy was an Omega.

And wow - he should be studying.  This was a study partner, someone to help him pass the class.  And… He was going to be damned if he’s going to sit here and turn over the whole thing in his head just because he can’t bring himself to study.  A little help and not a lot of thought to the entire thing – it was better this way.  

_/What time at the booth tomorrow?//_

_/9 – on the south side of campus.  Bring chocolate//_

***

Sam, Meg and Garth arrived at 10 outside the little Omega centre at the south block. period It was up three flights of stairs, and served mainly to offer contraceptives.  Outside the window a large Ω banner flying, overlooking the crowds gathered in the quadrangle.   Underneath was the sign, “STOP THE DISCRIMINATION WITHIN THE FACULTIES”

A girl walked up to the three, she was wearing a red shirt with the Ω symbol on it and well, and offered some flyers.

“Omegas need to join the top teaching positions, they account for less than 10% of faculty and ONLY 3 have tenure.”

She reached black bag on her arm – “would you like a protest wrist cuff?”

Meg and Garth tentatively put out their arms and she taped the red paper around their wrists.   She looked down at Sam’s cuff and then reached into her bag.  She handed him a sticker, his eyes failing to meet hers as he took the square.   

“Equality” she said holding up her fist in a mark of solidarity before going on to the next group.

Sam’s face turned up, his nose flaring slightly.

“Everying ok?”  Garth asked hesitantly.

“She was an Alpha” he replies, the smell only now just registering, strength and power coming across and a will to submit.  Faint within his nostrils, but Sam knew how his body was responding, her pheromones compelling him in the most primal of ways.

From the other side of the square, the president started to shout through a bullhorn, the noise in the crowd receeding.

“The March will start in 20 minutes, we want large crowds outside the administration buildings, we need to show our support with the dean and heads of department meeting today…”  

Sam’s attention wavered as he spotted Charlie at one of the stalls on the outside of the square.   He walked over, she was on her kindle, completely oblivious.

“Charlie?  Charlie!”  she looked up.

“Sammy” she smiled in greeting “- you just missed your brother”

“Dean?”

“He was helping me collect signatures, care to sign”

He picked up the clipboard; it was for one of recent bills introduced into the senate.  Something regarding the nuances of legislation regarding mandatory cuff wearing in the workforce – it was mildly topical, but Sam had been too focused on end of semester to keep up with any political discussions on tv.  He signed his name and put the board down.

“You said my brother was here?”

“A wonderful trade -  he needed some last minute help, and I owed the guy a favour.”

Sam raised an eyebrow.

“What can I say, I like to play matchmaker.” Charlie smirked.  “Don’t worry Sam, he’s cool.  Your brother will fall head over heels.”

“Dean? My brother?”

Charlies smirk widened.  She nodded.“Go. There starting the march”

Sam turned and left the booth, looking for Garth and Meg.  He heard Charlie call out over her shoulder, “Don’t worry Sam, you can crash with me if there’s a sock on the door.”

 

***

 

The march was over by 1:30 when Sam got a call from Charlie, she was going to coffee with Jo and wanted to know if he wanted to join them.  

He turned into the street and saw Jo, idly chatting until they reached the shop on the corner.

“So Sam, how you finding life?”  The ‘as an Omega now’ left off the end.   Her entire manner was imposing, but even with the foot he had above her head, he felt somewhat small.   There was something primal in the way he wanted to respond to her voice.  To obey and show obedience.   

“s’ good” he said, hoping for nonchalant.   A change in mannerism, whether willing or not, equivalent to letting himself be the lesser.  To letting this change him, and giving away his power.

“And how are you?”

“Good.  My pack are all back together tonight and we’re going out to dinner, celebrate end of semester.”

He noticed her t-shirt read ‘I have the dick – so I make the rules’.   Biting reminder, and he pulled his face into a smile.

“Jo, Sam!” Charlie called, her head poking out the door.   “You’ll never guess who I just ran into!”  She gestured to the man standing beside her and Jo’s eyes lit up.

Jo went in for the hug, someone close.  He had a slight height advantage, bending down slightly, in submission.  Sam saw the cuff as his hands were around her back.

“Gabriel!”  she said, pulling back and he smiled in return, affection clear in his face.

Sam smiled and offered a hand.   Gabriel knocked it away and went in for the hug as well.   Embracing Sam and pulling back with a smile.  It was only then that Sam realised he recognised the smell, it was sweet and pleasant.  Nothing like the demand-like scent of the Alphas he was learning to recognise.  This was happy?  Warm?  Affectionate?  

“I’m Gabriel,” he said, “one of Jo’s pack.  I heard you only recently joined the club.”

Charlie grinned at them. Her eyes darting to the cuff on Sam’s wrist.  

“Dean told me this morning,” she said as they began to walk inside.  “Doing ok?”

“I guess.  Its new.  It’s a little confronting,” he chuckled, his mouth turning into a smile.  “Never thought I’d get to see it from this side”

Gabriel laughed.  “It’s not so bad once you’re in a pack, but learning the ropes this late in life – "he made a whistling noise,  “ - not my idea of a candy covered chocolate Sunday”

Jo poked him.   “Gabe.  Really.  You should be watching your weight.”  Gabriel nodded, and Sam saw the will to make a retort in his eyes.   His mouth was still smiling, but it grew somewhat fake as the conversation continued.   Jo and Charlie were discussing the University's stricter regulations regarding plagiarism.     

They all sat down outside, Gabriel courtesy putting down the tray with coffees on the table and Jo and the others sat down.  It was friendly gesture, taking the tray, it meant nothing. The thing that bothered Sam was that Jo hadn’t offered to take the tray.  It was just expected.  Arranged.  The whole thing set.

They each had standard coffee orders, except for Charlie with extra-frothed soy milk in her latte.   Vegan.   Sam tried not to put stock to the stereotype, considering just a few days ago he might have made a joke about Omegas being short.   But to be fair, he wasn’t the poster child for the whole deal.  

The conversation was fairly banal, but there was an excitement about semester finishing, and they discussed the plans over break.  They picked at the plate of baklava on the table. Conversation came round again and Charlie mentioned the morning's rally.

“…It’s all a bit meaningless really, the university is…”

“… set in its ways.” Jo butted in.

“I suppose.”  Charlie conceded “But it’s more about making it commonly accepted.  We all vote.  These issues keep being pressed.  Slowly the small stuff gets fixed.  A little less suck in the world.”

Gabriel nodded.  It occurred to Sam that  Jo literally had the power of veto on Gabriel’s ability to vote.   All Omegas could enroll to vote, being a member of a pack wasn’t a requirement.  But it was still so strange.  

“Everything ok Sam?” Jo asked.        He had spaced out.

“Spaced out, sorry.   But.”  He paused for a beat.  “I would argue work top down with these issues.  But Voting rights being what they are, it seems almost futile to try and get these things through parliament.   I don’t know any more to be honest.  It was a lot simpler last week.”

Jo took the last baklava and put it on her plate, splitting it with her coffee spoon and placing the smaller piece on Gabriel’s plate.  Sam tried to reconcile that little action, the anger that it created within him.  He wasn’t angry about voting, or wearing a cuff or the grand problems facing Omegas.  He was angry, genuinely bottom-of-the-stomach angry about a piece of baklava.  

It was a jab to what he was, and it was harder and harder to see the world as he always had.  The people, for the most part, seemed less kind.

They finished their coffee and Jo and Gabriel went to the carpark, while Charlie and Sam walked back to Campus.  A breeze was blowing in, but most of the streets were empty.  

“He seemed nice,” Charlie said as they turned onto the main walk of the Campus.   A few Omega banners still around.

“He seemed whipped,”  he replied.

“She’s his Alpha Sam, it's whether there’s genuine affection or not.  Isn’t that what we’re fighting for?  Choice rather than obligation”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend for Jo to come across so horrible, but someone had to play the morally grey villain of societal norms. Also sorry it took 8,000 words to get Gabriel in the story. There is going to be Romance, I promise!


	6. Chapter 6

 

After short introduction and Charlie shooing them off, Dean and Cas had spent the morning in the library, walking there in awkward step.    Cas himself was happy to help, he owed Charlie a favour and this was easy.

They booked a private study room and set down their books.

“You really don’t like Accounting” Cas asked, their small talk having been somewhat stilted, despite Dean's efforts.

“I want to pass.  I don’t have to like this”

For the best part of an hour Dean made progress.  He wasn’t stupid, but this wasn’t his area. Cas’s passion for what might as well have been otherwise shit-dull subject helped him as well.  There was a glee, a ridiculous joy in his eyes as he explained again the nuance of external auditor as opposed to statutory auditors.   

It was somewhat contagious, and Dean almost forgot he was trying to pass a class.

“Hard to believe this is a for a maths credit,” was Deans pitiful attempt to break the continuous flow of Cas’s eager voice.  He was tired of listening, it was mentally exhausting certainly, and so far all he knew about Cas was his name.

Cas looked up at Dean and stated, “There can be up to 15% in the exam, however previous students have not advised it as a priority and given this late stage I do not feel that is where we should focus your efforts,”  His tone was serious, but sympathetic.

Dean smiled, Cas was trying to help him.  And he wasn’t being judged for it either.   That was nice.  Charlie probably wouldn’t have gotten Cas to help Dean if he was going to be critical of his ability.   But Cas seemed invested in the entire thing.  Invested in Deans success, which was, if nothing else, flattering.

They hestitated a moment, Dean rearraging his papers and asking another question on accounting, not bringing himself to actually talk to the guy.   God he could be stupid sometimes, this shouldn’t be this hard.

It took another 2 hours, but they made it through ¾ of the set exam rubric before Dean admitted he couldn’t take any more, and it wasn’t worth continuing.

“Thanks Cas.  I don’t know whether I can really learn any more.   I’ve got a pass, I’m happy.”

He paused for a moment.  “Thanks,”  he said, smiling in a desperate attempt to avoid coming off as ungrateful.  

Dean saw Cas smile in reply, and felt relieved, not just for the exam, but because he was understood.   It felt a little ridiculous, feeling this way, but Dean couldn’t shake the feeling.

Cas shuffled his books around, busying his hands.  He wasn’t good at reading people, and when Charlie had called him, he had been dubious.   It wasn’t so bad.  Dean was attentive and seemed interested in what he had to say, which was flattering , considering it was obvious Dean hated the subject with a passion.  Usually that would sting a little.  It was accounting, how could it seem boring, to anyone?  


“So what is your major Dean?”  Cas asked quickly, looking up at Dean and pulling himself out of his train of thought.

“English lit.”  Dean looked down at his book briefly, hesitating.   His face beaming “I uh…  I love books.  My brother's the nerd don’t get me wrong.  But I love a good adventure story, saving people, hunting things,…”

“Dean?”   Cas asked, Dean having trailed off.  Clearly a trait shared.

“Sorry Cas, I was….”  

There was a tension that hung about the room.  Cas was generally tongue tied and tentative certainly, but Dean could hold conversation like his liquor.   They met each others eyes.

“Do you have a favourite book?”  Cas said at last

“No, I could never bring myself to choose.   Something about a good story, a well written battle, a long story with lots of…. “  He flailed his hands a little “I would probably pick Tolkein.  Can’t get more specific than that.            What about you?”

Cas had already begun to fix the papers, starting to put them in his bag.  “I don’t have the time to read currently.  I enjoy novels.   And I would love to have a recommendation sometime.  I enjoy Fantasy. ”  

“Yeah?”

“At the moment, however, I am watching original series Star Trek.  It is very enjoyable.”

They stood up and went to the door, Dean thanked Cas again, and it was easier now.   At least the guy had good taste.

***

Sam made it home in one piece.  The house was empty, the others probably at a bar.  Going upstairs, he set his bag on his bed and kicked off his shoes, then changed into pjs.   He needed to relax.  Sam drew himself a bath.   


It had been a long week and he needed to clear his mind of the whole ordeal.   Relax, sink into the water and cast his mind back to, well, last week when it had been simpler.  While the bath was running he went to the kitchen and made tea, some fruity herbal blend with little pink flowers and swirls on the box.  Dean would usually make some joke about how he was being just like a … well, now he was just perpetuating a stereotype.  

He set the cup down and turned off the water.  The room was steamy and his eyes a little tingly.  He stripped, and stepped into the bathtub.  The water a little just slightly overheated, making his calves burn in a good way.  

He unstrapped the cuff from his wrist and placed it to the side, completely bare.

He sank down into the water slowly, letting it soak his body.  Trying to soak away his anxieties.   He lay his head back on the rolled up towel at the back of the tub, a makeshift pillow as he closed his eyes and tried to rest.

His hands wandered down his sides, gently stirring the water and eddying against his sides.   He breathed deeply.  Oh God.  His mind kept returning to that moment in the club. He needed to join a pack. He was going to keep being harassed.  It was already odd.  Pack.   No he didn't.  Breathe.  

Sam swirled the water, trying to remove the moments from his head, this wasn't helping.  This wasn't going to help.

At least his sense of smell was coming in.  The different types of fruit all clearly coming across in the tea, the actual and the perfumed elements recognisable against the soap and cleaner.   It was pungent.  And unpleasant.  And oh God.  This was really happening.

The hot water was beginning to irritate the skin on his wrist.  There were slight tan marks around it, from the sun.  Enough to be obvious what was usually there, enough to mark him.

Sam took in a deep breath and tried to cast his mind away, this wasn't helping.   It was too much to deal with.  Most guys… most Omegas his age, had packs by now.  The thought was foreign.  But.

But he had to think like that.  Think in terms of heat, make sure his claim status was obvious.  Make sure that no one would dare try and take him.

A tightness in his chest began to swell again.  He didn't need this.  He didn't fucking need an Alpha to stop him from being harassed.  And he didn't fucking need one to solve his heats.

No wait.   Did he?  The idea of the pack bitch had to come from somewhere.  Was it as bad as they said?   Could it really be like that.  The sweaty panting Omegas, in porn.  Literally dripping and writhing incoherently for their Alphas.   For bite marks and aggression.  Needing to be used and pinned down, gripped and strangled, bitten until blood was drawn…

If he was being honest, he did occasionally browse claiming porn.  It wasn't exactly a niche type.  But that had always seemed foreign and surreal.   And exaggerated for the camera of course.  But he really had no idea. The thought of being forced to do that angered him.  Could he want that?  Is that what he needed?  Is that what all Omegas wanted, liking their place and enjoying this feeling of confliction inside?  Or was that just him?   It simply wasn't normal yet.

He dropped the back of his head into the bath and wet his shaggy hair.  The thought of Jo and Gabriel starting to wander back into his mind.  Was that what Jo did?  Hold him down and force him to be hers, like he wanted, like he needed.  Was that what it meant to be an Omega?

Oh fuck, he shouldn't be thinking about his friends like this.   And he couldn't exactly ask Jo, “So… when Gabriel -  or any of your Omegas go into heat, how do you fuck them… is it like a BDSM thing or do you just hold them down till their primal need to be controlled is overcome?  Also do you need to dominate, or is it just a kinky thing that some Alphas are into?”

The thought of Jo sleeping with three different people was really odd.  She literally had three people to share her bed.   And have sex and… were there feelings?  They would all end up having and caring for her children.  Oh god.  Did she love them?  How?  How did that work?  


‘Stop this’ he thought firmly.  This was intruding.   He would google how it all worked and that would be the end of it.   And for good measure, not because he was a pervert, he’ll ask an Omega about heats.   He’ll see if Jo will let Michael come round for a little Q and A, ask someone who knew this world inside and out how it all worked.  It shouldn't be this difficult to understand.  

But first he will finish his bath.

***

Sam waited a day to text Jo.  He put the two mugs on tea on the kitchen table where Dean was working and took out his phone.

His face must have looked worried, Dean was using his mocking voice.  


“And who, Sammy, are you texting?”

Sam gave him a look that was equal parts ‘shove it’ and ‘really Dean?’ before answering “Jo.  I want to see if Michael can answer some questions about being an Omega.”

“Ok.  But why are you texting Jo?”

“Because she’s his Alpha.”

Dean looked taken aback.   But he nodded.  This was Sam’s thing and it certainly wasn't his area of understanding.  

Meg chimed in from the kitchen “Looks like you two can double date, Deans invited his little study buddy from accounting over for some last minute assistance." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Big thankyou to Firefly124 for all her advice, This is my first prose fic longer that 1k and it lovely to have some reinforcement that its working. Love, Hugs, plenty of chocolate and OTP kisses.


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

“Jo?”  

“Sam! How is it going?”  

They chatted, Jo bubbly, her voice lighting up as she discussed her Pack planning a short road trip to California over the break now that they were all back together.    Eventually Sam asked:

“I was wondering if I could talk to Michael.  The other day, you were very, uh, informative about all this.  But I think it would help to hear it from another Omega.”

“Ok, but Michael's ‘touched by the moon’ at the moment, so we're both a little indisposed.  If you catch my drift.”

There was a brief pause as Sam took the reality of it in.  

“…But Gabriel is free this evening if you want to chat.   He’s currently baking, I’ll send him round when it’s done.  Try not to eat too many lemon cakes.”   

Sam thanked Jo and hung up the phone.   Dean had already claimed the table for some last minute tutoring, so Sam went and straightened out the living room.   Being a share house, it got messy quickly; the room, however was sizeable considering. The ensemble was worn and comfortable.   He tossed the pillows around and shifted the paper from the coffee table, before reclining in the arm chair.

Ruby walked through, leaning against the door as Sam read through the a textbook for next semester.  

“I would make a comment about the state of this place, but you really are embracing this whole thing aren't you?”  Her tone was comical, but Sam a little jolted more than anything by the comment.

***

The doorbell chimed again comically.  Both Dean and Sam checked their watches, Sam reaching the door first.   He opened it, greeted by Gabriel holding a plate of cooling cookies in the one hand and a tin under his other arm.

He was grinning wildly, and Sam gestured for him to enter and put the plates down in the kitchen.   Sam went for the handshake, but Gabriel pulled him into a hug.  There was that same familiar sweetness about him.  Lingering like the smell of the freshly piped icing sugar.  And yet inviting in a completely unknown way.

Dean was still in the other room and Sam ushered Gabriel into the living room with a cup of coffee and plate of the biscuits Gabriel had made.   They both took a seat and Sam decided to start with the most basic questions.

Gabriel cut him off.   “Sam, you can’t seriously think it’s this difficult can you?”

He laughed a little before Sam responded.  “I don’t know where the marks are, and I don’t want to hit them.”  He paused.  “I keep stepping on toes, there’s greetings and handshakes and expressions and….  You know how it works.  You’ve sorted out where you’re supposed to be in all this.  Where it all stands.”

Raising his eyebrows, Gabriel replied:  “And how do you want me to teach you that.  We are what we are.  They are what they are.  Let them eat cake and be done with it.   But you’ll learn.  It just sort of happens.  It’s different when you join a pack.”

Sam nodded, but he had hoped for more.  Or maybe something different. He started small.

“When Jo was on the phone, she said Michael was out with the moon.  What does that mean?”

Gabriel laughed and took a biscuit.  

“Oh Sammy, they said you were fresh, they didn’t say you were completely new.  Never heard the expression?”

Sam huffed.  “It’s why I’m asking."  


“Don’t get your new little Omega panties in a twirl.  He’s ‘seeing a specialist’, ‘opening out for business’, ‘the oven is ready for the bread’.”  Gabriel licked the icing from the corner of his mouth and remarked seriously “He’s in heat.”

“Oh.  Shouldn’t you be back then... ” Sam began to ask.

“I would, but,” he paused again.   Sam was, well, he was like a kid. God, how did someone reach adulthood without hearing the  euphemisms.   But then again, Beta.   It was simple biology.  But it was nothing he had had to deal with.  His brother was a beta, his roommates and Gabriel suspected, his family was probably all beta.  But still, pop culture?  Perhaps not.  Gabriel decided to go for all.  Do a little good deed, awkwardness be damned.

“I would be back there.  But when an Omega goes into heat, their Alphas get pretty horny, it’s not pretty.  And when Jo gets like that, it’s not pleasant to be near her.”

“Like Alpha rut?”

So Sam did pay attention, to Alphas nonetheless, but still.  It was a start.  

“In a sense, but that’s more a stereotype.  She and Michael will be spending the next two days locked in her bedroom.  … No one else, if that was where your mind went.  I can’t speak for other Alphas, but it's nice she always does that.  It can get tedious for them sometimes."

Gabriel looked at Sam a moment.  It was so odd to have to explain this to someone his age.  Omegas were usually in packs by now, he supposed that was another thing Sam was finding hard to swallow.

“I hope you get an Alpha like that.  Well you probably have more choice in the matter than most do.  But kiddo, Alphas like to take.  They don’t like excuses.  They…”

The doorbell rang.

Dean invited Cas into the kitchen, Sam and Gabriel joining them, getting introductions out of the way.  It was the scent that hit Sam first, the overwhelming smell of dominance coming off this shorter man.   Different to Jo, but still powerful.  

Sam put out his hand and Cas went to shake it, Sam bending down a little and moving his neck to the side, moving closer to allow acess, in an attempt to be polite.  Cas didn’t reciprocate the gesture to the same degree, but there was still a slight tilt of his head, enough to let Sam take in the smell of an Alpha.  

Cas pulled back, letting go of Sam’s hand, in a polite but firm action.   Sam moved aside and watched as Gabriel repeated the gesture.  It coming as second nature, and while he did not need to bend down, there was perhaps more dignity in the way he went about it than Sam.  Entirely unphased by the smell and the action.  Repetitive and rote.

Sam looked over at his brother, Deans face somewhat concerned.  But that was to be expected.   It was odd, his brother submissive to a friend.  It would have been surreal, had it not been a reality, just one that had never been the focus of his immediate life.

They chatted in the kitchen, the tension broken now the power dynamic established.  Cas asked Sam about his subjects.  Dean remarked that Sam never needed tutoring, and Gabriel teased them all, having graduated the previous year, leaving more time for his baking.

Eventually Dean went to finish off his work with Cas and Sam and Gabriel lingered in the kitchen out of earshot.

“And… is that right?  Am I doing this right?”   Sam asked.

“Well, I can’t speak for everything, but you have the handshake down.  Don’t worry”

Sam nodded.  “I guess my next  question would be, what is it like to go into heat?  Is it like being claimed? Is it…”

Sam stopped when Gabriel raised an eyebrow.  This wasn’t exacting candid conversation for someone you just met.   Gabriel sighed.

“Sam, don’t worry.  Find a nice Alpha, a good pack and this won't sit on your mind.”  He pulled aside the shirt he was wearing.  “Claiming happens once.”

Sam looked at the mark on his shoulder, leading up to his neck, the deep indents of the teeth in among the deep red bruises.  If Sam didn’t know better, he would say it was inflamed.

“It’s more or less permanent.  And once it happens you’ll stop getting over-sniffed by every alpha with a decent taste in cute guys”

Sam laughed at that.  

“Does it hurt?” he said at last.

“Well,  it does tie you to another permanently and the paperwork attached legally binds you to them.  So it has its…” Gabriel took a bite of the lemon biscuits “…downsides”

There was a little streak of the lemon on his upper lip.  Gabriel flicked his tongue up and licked the icing away, pulling his mouth into a smile.  Sam grinned back.  It was sweet, in both senses of the word.  It was nice, and it should have been uncomfortable as all hell.   

Conversation drifted, and Gabriel continued to snack as he told Sam about his plans.  His bachelors was in Nordic history, and was thinking about doing postgrad.  He described the vast array of tricks he got up to in the local museum he was interning in, and somehow, in the middle of talking they found themselves up in Sam’s bedroom.

Sam pulled out the book from the top of his shelf and Gabriel laughed, tilting his head.   “This is a good one – but it lacks the depth of other mythology texts”

“I wasn’t going for complicated,” he gestured to the books on the desk “It's law, with a few history units scattered about.”

“It’s a big world out there Sambo, lots more to it that rules and restrictions”

They talked effortlessly, it was gentle and nice and Sam forgot why he had called Gabriel round in the first place.  This was easy, and slowly that tense uncertain feeling lifted from his chest.   Gabriel had somehow reconciled all this.  And he had someone to talk to, who genuinely understood.

“So how do you know Jo?”  Gabriel asked casually.

“We went to school together. My brother and her were both more than a little rebellious. I think he had a thing for her.  All the boys kind of did.”  His tone became more thoughtful  “But we all used to get along.  Perhaps more than I realised, what with her studying law now.”

Gabriel looked a little confused at Sam’s remarks.   It took him a second to realise that, for all intents and purposes, Gabriel and Jo were together – and that, Jo had been popular with Omega boys.  It just hadn’t clicked.

“And how did you two meet, were there any others in her pack?” Sam asked, an attempt to save face.

Gabriel had been arranged with Jo by his parents.  She was a nice Alpha, and at the time it seemed more appropriate that someone like Gabe should be claimed quickly.  He was 16, and life hadn’t seemed fair.  But it had been years and he had gotten over the ways of the world.   He simply said: “Through friends”  

Gabriel left and Sam saw him off.  The afternoon had been pleasant, and the plate of biscuits on the bench was half eaten.  He chuckled, Gabriel liked to splurge when Jo wasn’t around.  

An hour later his phone buzzed.  It was Jo.

_//How did it go today?  All your questions cleared up sweetcheeks? /_

_//yeah – tell Gabe thanks again for the biscuits./_

_//There is a semester wrap up for arts this Saturday – want to meet up on the south lawn beforehand – theres something we need to discuss/_

_//ok – is everything ok? – I will see you there/_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken longer than I would have liked to write. But I think I know where I wont everything to go now. Writting dialog is hard. Writting realistic making of friends is worse. Hopefully it works out well. That and Sam stays in character - particually in dialog, it just sounds weird in my head. And hopefully not overally femminine, an unfortunate curse of writting for another gender.


	8. Chapter 8

 

Dean didn’t need to study.  He had a pass and he knew it.  And Cas knew that.   So as the afternoon wore on it was only natural the two found themselves with their tongues down each other’s throats.   Turns out, his straight-backed study partner wasn’t as all-work-no-play as first presented.  Son of a bitch, Charlie had known that.  But damn, he was a good kisser.

And damn her.  He didn’t need this now.   He should be…

“Hmmgh”  Cas moaned into Dean's mouth as he grabbed fervently at Dean's shirt.  Dean had them perched on the couch with Cas pressing into the chairback.    Cas let his hands roam gently along the sides of Dean's shirt, as the kiss became gentler. Their lips lightly touching and tongues moving together at a slow pace.

It was nice.  And it was taking the nervous edge off.   Damn Cas.  He was an excellent tutor.

Dean was pulled back into the moment as Cas’s teeth grazed his bottom lip.

“So do you do this for all your students?” Dean teased.

Cas pressed his hands onto Deans shoulders firmly and replied, “Only the cute ones.”

Dean tried to pull Cas down a little, but Cas hesitated, that nervous streak coming through again.  His eyes glared into Dean, piecing and hard as he moved to kiss around Dean's jaw.  The light stubble grazing together as his lips moved down further on his throat.

Dean could feel the bulge his groin as Cas continued to kiss along the line of his uptitled neck.

“Are you sure Cas?” he asked throatily.

Cas pulled back, their eyes locking once again.  “I think we should wait"

Ok.  Not where Dean had thought that was going.

Cas pulled off, letting Dean stand up properly.  Neither spoke as they began to straighten up their clothes.  Dean watched as Cas zipped up his fly.

“Seriously dude,”   Dean inflected, playfully insulted.

“Dean.  I can smell you, and the scent is nerves and lust.   I would like, however, for this to perhaps continue after you have completed you exam with an excellent mark.”

Deans interest spiked again as Cas gave him a wonderfully sincere grin.   That was.  Well.  That was really sweet.

“Dean, would you like to have dinner with me after your exam tomorrow.  My treat.”

Dean beamed.  “Sure Cas.”

Dean pushed forward and kissed Cas, closed mouth, but enough to show Cas how he felt.  “So I smell good do I?     Imagine how I taste”

Cas laughed.  It was something like a manly giggle, and it was adorable, and Dean laughed too.   They both walked to the dining room and Cas collected his things, it was getting late, and Dean needed to get some rest before tomorrow.   Their smiles still sat about them, despite the silence.   It was nice.  

Just as Cas was walking into the hallway to open the door, he looked at Dean and asked casually,“Just ah, curious, but have you ever, uh, been with an Alpha”

“You asking for my sexual history Cas?” Dean joked back at him.

Cas smiled, and they saw each other off.   It was sweet really, that Dean didn’t care.  Cas didn’t sleep around, that wasn’t his reputation, but also didn’t have a pack.  Sleep with Betas, or date them, or to date an alpha would – there were connotations, and their were stigmas.  At this age, for both of them.  Cas pushed the thought from his mind.  It wasn’t worth caring about.  He liked Dean, and Dean certainly didn’t seem to care.   And if he was still beaming from their so called ‘study’ session, then it was worth being happy about.

***

 

Sam went to bed early that night, the stress relieved from his afternoon with Gabriel lulling him into a sense of comfort.  

He woke up and went down into the kitchen.  It was already 10 and Dean was probably already on Campus.  Sam yawned and scratched his wrist before going upstairs to get his cuff.   He should probably get a permanent one.   Something that didn’t itch as much.   The really nice ones were generally given as 18th birthday presents.  Either by your parents or your Alpha.  Little embroidered letters, sweet really little messages on the underside.  

Sam sipped his coffee.  It was too early for this and he was in such a good mood.   And he probably should have asked Gabriel about it.  It was too late now, and he could always ask Jo on Saturday.

He paged through his diary, nothing was marked.  He took his coffee to the couch and flipped to his chapter.  No school.  No work. Just this.

Ruby and Garth came and went, but it was quiet and Sam flicked on the news.  They were covering some on the marches in Washington.  Universal voting rights.  Apt.   

He flicked over to a cable panel show, also covering the recent political developments.   It had always sat at the periphery, now it seemed to be unavoidable.   

One of the Alphas on the panel was reiterating how fragile Omega's could be, and it was best to ensure they keep to what they know.  Only contributing if helpful.  Unfit, by their general physical nature to take part.  The dangers of them becoming too involved, and the human race being left to the betas to sustain. The…

Sam tuned out.

It was a nice day, and he decided on the short walk to campus, rounding the path to the central courtyard.  It was fairly busy and Sam turned to take the long path to the business buildings, he had a hunch that Dean was in the main hall for this exam.   Dean had been there to meet him after all his difficult exams and he wanted to be there for his brother.  It was becoming a tradition, and a nice enough gesture that got you a pardon if the dishes weren't washed or the laundry was a mess.

He was stepping onto the main walkway when a flyer was shoved into his face.

“Equality Alternative – meeting in C4B 102 at 2 this afternoon,”   the girl said.

“Thanks” said Sam out of habit, continuing to walk.  He started to fold the small piece of black and white paper when he discerned the image on the front.  There was a blur around the image like it had been printed in bulk, with little regard for quality, but the figure standing tall and proud still struck him regardless.

The man, or perhaps woman, had a cuff on them.  It was just a thin band, and the design was such that the cuff appeared to be shrinking, disappearing from the wearers wrist. There was strength in the posture and it struck him not because this idea was foreign, nor because it was new, but because Sam could not honestly recall seeing an Omega standing like this, being shown like this.  The entire understanding, conflicting within him.  

It was almost comical in that it wasn’t.  There was no punch line, or joke.  There was nothing but single message, and it affirmed something within him.  His eyes darted about the page, and in the corner of his vision he saw his own cuff.

Sam flipped over the page and there was the room number and a time.   Dean would have to celebrate without him.

***

The exam was hard.  But Dean finished the last essay with a smile.  He pen flicked up with the final curve of sentence and he began to read over the dull pages.    He had ample time, and as the examiner called pens down Dean had finished majority of his corrections.

The papers were collected and he walked out the door.  Stepping happily into the sunshine his stomach dropped a little as he spied Cas.

He was standing against a pole and Dean suspected he was trying to look suave, but his hands were figeting and the nervousness obvious in his face.   There were a few people waiting, Deans eyes were drawn to Cas, just as Cas took seconds to find Dean amongst the emerging faces.

“Hey”  Cas said.  “How did the exam go?”

“It went well.  I finished in time, and the essays were manageable, thanks to you.”

Cas laughed and grabbed Dean's hand, squeezing it a little and interlocking their fingers together.

Dean squeezed back.  It was ok to be sappy sometimes.   This was worth the chickflick moments.  

They walked to the restraunt together, simply enjoying each other's presence.  It wasn't silent, conversation was lax and coming easily.  The more they moved through things, the more little things they shared.  Odd trivia, opinions on books, favourite bands to listen when it's raining.  

Cas pulled out Dean's chair, but they split the bill, Dean insisted.   The chivarly was needless, Dean told him.

***

Sam stepped out of the small meeting room, which was tucked away to the side of a lecture hall.   His mind was foggy from it, everything swirling in his head.           He bumped into a few columns, his head still back in the room.

…“ _O-mega.  Not O-micron._ _O-MEGA.  There is strength in that, the name is…”_

There had been several speakers, two omegas, a beta and an alpha.  But he had only been able to distinguish by smell.  When everyone had sat down, they had all, every omega in the room, placed their cuffs in the centre.  

_“the pack focus of command is a modern invention, a twisted perversion of the notion that both alphas need to have power and omegas need to serve.  There is no precedent.”_

The speeches were brief, and everything he heard fell in sharp contrast with the media.  Perhaps it was obvious these things, they felt obvious.  Why had no one told him these things, why had these thoughts never crossed his mind?  

It was all new, but this felt real.  This was some tangible piece of truth amongst all the prejudice.    And should he have remained a beta for the rest of his life, he hoped that this still would have struck the same chord within him.  Hell, the discussions were more like a whole song, resonating within him and stirring up his innermost understandings.  The views and opinions, facts and figures he had never encountered.

_“It is a travesty.  How can anyone claim that reproductive biology limits one's ability to think. Show me how this effects ability to vote.   Tell me why this means staying in the home”_

Sam’s mind kept falling back to the pertinent voices, trying to hold onto those ideas.   He wanted to march.   He wanted to fight.   He needed something, to show that this was real and he was not simply complicit in the whole thing.  He wasn’t a pack bitch.  He was more than that, and this wasn’t his fate.

At home he pencilled the dates into his calendar, due to semester break there was a gap until the next meeting.  But he didn’t mind.  There was time to research, time to learn and join.   

Sam sat down with some ramen at the dining table.  His head was spinning, his thoughts calmer but they refused to settle, little fish continuing to startle up new ripples on a pond.  

There was one thought that did confuse him, all those omegas, most his age or older, would have been part of a pack.  How?   How did they reconcile this?  Did they come in secret?  

The questions kept coming, and he ended up going to bed just to quiet the thoughts.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay! finally getting plot to develop properly. More destiel than I originall intended, but I'm not minding as much. In everything, perhaps they are the more congruent pair. Naturall coming together easily. Sam and Gabriel, however, take time. 
> 
> Also plot.


	9. Chapter 9

 

Sam had a lump in his throat as he made the bed the next morning.   He pulled the corners tight, the sheets tucking in the pillows.   The house was quiet, strangely.   Given that everyone was now finished with exams, he half expected to be in the midst of a house party.  Sam hadn’t heard Dean come home last night, so perhaps that was where everyone was, passed out with sharpie covering their face.  

He could attest to the pounding headache  of a hangover, however.  Well, that and a twisted feeling in his stomach, but that was becoming standard it seemed.  Just another side effect.  And it was becoming clear that the physical ones were easiest to deal with.  

He paused and went to his laptop.   In the WebMD search bar he looked up the symptoms of going in into heat.  

Literally.  _Oh fuck._    And the little gifs of smiling omegas weren’t helping.  If anything, the stock photo groups of them, surrounding an alpha, with their glassy glares and over-white teeth reminded him that, he shouldn’t be doing this alone.  

Or?  Wait.  No.  Sam took a breath.  There was a solution.  But it wasn’t going to be on this site, or anything like it, that that assumed he had an alpha.  Or an alpha had him.  

At least, he had a couple of days before it hit him.  He hoped.  He had no idea.  This was biology, and it wasn’t exactly doing him any favours at the moment.   He hoped it was nothing, but the list also included heightened olfactory sensitivity, and in particular, towards alpha’s scent.  The ‘your alpha’ implied.  Or inferred.  He wasn’t sure anymore.  Reading too much into things wasn’t listed as one of the symptoms.  These little things he had never noticed but now filled him with moments of quiet rage, not worth mentioning, and yet they kept biting into him.    Sam thought of the mark Gabriel had from Jo, the metaphor was almost too perfect.  

 

His socks made a quiet noise again the carpet of the stairs.   There wasn’t a lot going on in the lounge room, the cushions were thrown about but apart from that, the house was surprisingy silent.  The faint ticking of the clock could even be heard.   He cracked open some eggs and bacon in a pan and switched the pan to high heat. 

Sam cut the end of a rasher of uncooked bacon and started eating it while the rest cooked.  He popped on the toast and cut another piece of bacon.  Meg popped her head in the door.

“Bacon. Me.  Now,”   she said, rubbing her eyes.

Sam looked over her sleep dishevelled pjs fondly, Meg was a bitch in the morning, but at least it was limited.

“Would you like some bacon, Meg?”  he said sarcastically, waving the spatula in her general direction as she rubbed her face. 

She groaned and sat down, folding herself over the couch and closing her eyes.

Sam moved the eggs about and turned down the heat, cutting himself another piece and re-wrapped the bacon with clingfilm, putting it back in the fridge.   The bacon was amazing.  Seriously amazing.  He couldn’t remember liking uncooked bacon this much, and began to contemplate why people bothered to cook the damned thing when a penny dropped. 

“Oh fuck,” he muttered.  Cravings.   Another fucking symptom of his upcoming fucking heat. 

 

He served up the plates and carried the coffee to the table.   Meg came over, yawned and sat down.   She seemed to be glaring it at Sam, her eyes declaring that no-one should be this chirpy in the morning.  ‘Ungodly heathen’ her eyes seemed to call him, while he lathered the eggs in Worcestershire sauce. 

After Meg had downed the coffee they really started to chat. 

 

“Are you ok, Sam, you seem a little off this morning?” 

“Pardon?”  Sam looked up, refocusing on her face.

“I mean it, you ok?”  she said again, concern showing through.

“I’m a little strung out.”  His hands moved over his face, rubbing his eyes and pushing his hair back.

She nodded in reply, and he continued, “Heat symptoms…”   Her head pricked up a little, surprised.“… Not for a few days, but I can’t shake this weird sense.”

Meg placed her knife and fork in the centre of the plate, “I think I might have something to help you, well more helpful to _you_ than me.”  

Meg put the plates in the sink and Sam wiped the drips of egg on the table with a napkin.   He heard her return from upstairs, decidedly more lively now she was awake.    The house was quiet, but she nonetheless pulled him aside to the corner of the room, and held out a box.

He looked down, and she shook it, impatient for him to take it. 

“Is this the parcel from the other day?”  

“Yeah.” her voice was quiet, and she didn’t seem embarrassed, just slightly uncomfortable.

Sam opened the lid.  It took him a second, it still being in the plastic wrap, the pinkish outline of the phallic shape showing through. 

“Pink?  Really Meg, didn’t think you were the type” 

She hit him. 

“Sam.   Let a girl do a nice thing for you once in a while.  You’ll need it more than me.”

Sam put the lid back on the vibrator’s box and thanked Meg.  It was uncomfortable certainly, but it was still a nice gesture.  The plastic ensured him that it had never been used, despite how invasive the moment  felt.  The silence that followed seemed to say that this would never ever be mentioned again.   

 

“Am I interrupting something?” 

Sam and Meg nearly jumped.  Dean was standing at the doorway staring at the two of them. 

Sam looked his brother firmly in the eye and left the room,  taking the box upstairs with him, before his brother could complain about not getting breakfast.  Setting it down on the bed, he got up and closed the door. 

And checked his email.  There was a message from Equality Alternative.  Mostly intro stuff, stats and figures and welcomes and thankyous.  A link to their facebook.  With a warning to note whether your like could be viewed publically.  

He scrolled down to the further reading.  Trust a group like this to have further reading.     There were some books, little asterisks next to the ones that could be bought through the group cheaply.   The publishing names were obscure, and the thumbnails were plain, but he wanted to read them.

He clicked open a tab with the universities library catalogue, and typed in ‘omega’

20,000 results.  

He scrolled down the list.  

‘The need to breed and submissive tendancies’

‘the omega: cultural customs regarding subjugation’

‘historical overview of the lesser sex’

‘betas and omegas, the inherent prejudices within pack’

‘the omega phallus: a cultural and physical insignificance’

 

He clicked over to his email and copy pasted the name of the one of the authors on the short booklist.

‘Jormin Gier’

There were 2 results, a link to an journal article denouncing the man, and a book.  ‘The Omega Eunuch’.   

Sam looked over to the box on the bed.  It felt off-putting, like the thing was wafting some hideous scent.   It was an oddity, and for all he knew, a necessity.  He glanced down at his crotch, his manhood might as well be sitting in that box.  It was packaged and bound, ready for whomever would need it.  

He wanted so very badly to talk to Dean, his brother who he had never felt so disconnected in his life towards.   To make him understand, somehow, how it was so much more, how inside his own head he felt.   Going round in circles and reaching the same conclusions, same ideas and the same feeling.  But at least now there was something to do about it.  Maybe.

He put the box under his bed.  He didn’t need this now.

***

 

Dean walked into the kitchen still sleep addled.   He was tied, cranky and a little sore and he didn’t have time for bullshit. 

His brother and Meg were chatting. 

Coffee.  Need coffee. 

 

He finished his toast while grabbing his keys and phone, shutting the door behind him.  The weather was cool but it was heating up by the time he reached Charlie’s apartment.   It was two flights up and walk was a terrible idea, in truth.  The sun was beating in through the windows of the corridor.  He knocked on the door.

 

“Charlie”

The door opened a smidgen.

“Dean?”   She looked him up and down, and then opened the door fully.

“Everything ok Charlie?”  Dean asked, following her into the small kitchenette.

She took out two cups and flicked on the jug to boil. 

She was quiet when she spoke, and looked tired.  “I’m excellent.”  She smirked.  “Long, _long_ night.”  

 “So whats up?”  She handed the cup to Dean and he looked at her before taking a sip.

He paused and took a breath, not sure what to say.  She set the cup on the counter beside her, leaning back and crossing her arms.

“Ok.  What is it?”

Dean took another sip before going to answer  “- I…”

“It’s about Cas isn’t it?”   she cut off, a cheeky smile working its way onto her face as the workings of a blush formed on Dean.

“Charlie.  I don’t think I can do this.  He’s great and all, but..”

She laughed.  “And I thought Betas were above commitment issues”

“…it’s not that Charlie.  He’s great.  Really.  But I just don’t think he’s my type.”

She took a another sip and glared at him.  If she wasn’t still waking up, she probably would have hit him.

“Dean.   This is so not my area. But I think you’re worried, because Cas is a dude, and you –Mr. Dean Winchester, lady’s man on campus, don’t have the experience to know you’ll score.”

Dean rubbed his forehead, regretting briefly the decision to come round.

“Oh god.  No.  I just…  well… he treats me like a chick.”

“Cas?”  There was a moment while the double-take showed on her face.   “You?”  

She took a deep breath and pulled a slight face before saying. “If you’ve come round at this ungodly hour for gay sex advice from a lesbian, then I really can’t help you Dean”

Dean smirked. 

“I don’t know, I just don’t know where I stand with the guy.  He’s awkward and sweet, and a great kisser and my god that tongue - ”

“- not before breakfast Dean.  I wasn’t kidding”

“All I’m saying is, I just don’t get it.”

Charlie took another sip and looked over to the door to her bedroom.  She sighed and looked up at him, her tone more thoughtful.

“Look, I know Cas, and if I’m being honest, I didn’t think anything would happen between you two. But the thing you gotta remember Dean, is that he is an alpha.”  She gestured to herself, “We can’t turn this down.”  She paused.   “And as far as I know he’s not looking to start a pack.  So chill.  Don’t overthink it.” 

“You think its cos’ he’s an alpha?” 

“No.  But you’ve been with alpha chicks right?”

Dean took a sip.   “You make me out to be the manwhore of campus Charlie.”

“Answer the question.”

“Maybe once or twice,”  he conceded

“Then you have your answer.”

 

Her bedroom door opened, a tallish girl emerging, with wearing a dressing gown with her hands crossed against her chest.

“Sorry hun, did we wake you?”  Charlie asked.

“It’s ok, I should get going but um… ” she said hesitantly, holding her hand to block the lipstick stain around her mouth.

Dean waved, closing the door after an apologetic wave, leaving Charlie to what was probably a one night deal.  She only called you ‘hun’ if she didn’t know your name.  And she had the nerve to call _him_ a lady’s man.  

 

He walked down the flight of stairs leading from her apartment, pausing at the bottom to take out his phone.  

//had fun last night.  I knew there was a reason I picked accounting ;P/

He smiled as he selected the cheekiest winky face.  Maybe he was a manwhore. He was still a little sore from last night, and maybe the walk wasn’t helping.  But maybe he just didn’t care. 

The girl from before walked past him with her party dress on, her hair a little dishevelled and the stockings rumbled.  Not Charlie’s usual, but still damn pretty.   Probably beta, but then Charlie was a little more unconventional in her tastes now days.  And certainly not omega, because he couldn’t see the cuff, and he couldn’t imagine Charlie stooping to the level of sleeping with any omega willing to go home with the first alpha that bought them a drink.

Dean might have fun with his classmates once in a while but he certainly wasn’t a slut.  He wasn’t like one of those omegas with no self respect.   But did Cas see him like that?   It was worth noting he had the paperwork as a beta to show he was exempt from being judged from a few one night stands. Not that that would fix it.

He would usually go to his brother, but it didn’t feel right to ask him for advice.  It was wrong in a tip of the tongue way, and he wasn’t sure why. 

 

***

 

Sam gave in and went to the library.  He tried to busy himself around the house, but he couldn’t sit in his own mind for much longer.   Like the thoughts were being carved into water.  And as much as he tried not to keep coming back to the thing under his bed, it seemed to be taunting him, reminding him that, as an omega, he needed it.  But not that thing.  An actual alpha.  That’s what he needed. 

But right now, he needed to find some books on omega biology.   The solution of something scientific seemed so simple now that he was here.  The promise of facts, sitting fresh on the fishmonger’s slab with nothing to garnish them, was strangely soothing.  He needed to know what he was, and every definition seemed to point away from him.  

Sam took the stairs down to the ground floor and walked through the shelves until he reached the steps to the sub-ground level at the back of the library.  There were two sections to the ground floor with the science section lowered as to sit below the line of the ground.  The area was newly refurbished, with the glass windows having some marvellous views of the surrounding treeroots.  It was quiet, the tall shelves a natural barrier to the other researchers, but it was also surprisingly empty.

He walked until he found the right section, human biology.  There were plenty of books, majority were regarding the differences between alpha and betas.   Some just alpha, and a fair few specific to beta.  At the end of the shelves was the omega specific section, set aside.

He pulled out a larger medical-esque book.  He took a moment to flick through.  The pages were blocks of text with a few pictures of alpha and betas – some pictures had large black pieces of adhesive tape on them.   He was confused for a moment, before the lack of pictures in a medical text book regarding gender explained it.  

Sam flicked through the next book.  It was more modern, the comfort of titles such as ‘hormones’  ‘difference to other sub-genders’ and ‘fertility in males and females’ satisfying that curiosity and providing reassurance above the everyday bullshit.  This was real.  He wasn’t an object, but maybe, and he hoped down to his gut it wasn’t, that was simply  implied.   But the idea of science and biology, or the study of the two, being separate and presented clearly without the bias and bullshit was a fantasy.  It didn’t matter.  The solution wasn’t in these pages. They were written by the same people who wrote everything else.

The next book he picked up unlodged something at the back of the shelves.  He reached in to pick out the squashed book.  It was a lime green puberty themed book for … omegas.   Which was different, not an indented chapter but a whole targeted book.   It took him a second to open it, self-conscious not only because of where he was in the library, but also because it seemed strange that this was relevant to him at age 20.  

He opened the first page and small page started to slip down.  He grabbed it and turned it over, grinning at what was there.  It was a link to equality alternatives website.  It struck him, how unsettling it would be to go through this at that age.  If it was hard at 20, well fuck, what would it be like at 13?  He tucked the paper in and put the book back in the line, a more central place as the bright colour clashed against the texts around it. 

He started to walk to the philosophy section when his phone buzzed.

/its Gabriel – want to have a drink tonight?//

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter. Which has taken time because of the amazing help of Meatball42 who is beta'ing and deserves chocolate and hugs and all the sweetness I can offer. If she were a character, I would place her amongst torchwood and give her happy character arcs with lots of pleasant things. That probably sounded more affectionate in my head, but remains the fact I can not thank her enough!


	10. Chapter 10, time for some smut!

 

 

Charlie tried to go back to sleep.   There was too much light spilling into the room, the mixed scent of fading perfume and omega musk lingering in the sheets.    She got up and got dressed properly.

Damn Dean.  He was an idiot. 

Charlie reached for the glass of water on the night stand, sitting on top of a stack of books.  Reading she should be doing instead of picking up pretty girls in bars.

Her cuff  – _whatever her name was –_   was still here. 

Oh crap. 

Charlie picked up the small band and read the small embroidered writing, ‘Lisa Braeden – my darling girl’.  

Charlie fished around on the floor for her purse,searching inside for the number of the girl.  Nothing.  On her hands and knees she began to rifle through the clothes strewn about the floor, flipping over this part, turning over that.  Breathing a sigh of relief, she stood up and pushed her hair back, the napkin from last night now in her hand.

She called the girl, and went over to her place.  It was the decent thing to do, even if it was charitable.  Alphas who could get an omega into their bed so easily didn’t need to consider them anything more than loose fodder.

It had been a late night, the term’s end party for the omega rights group.  Charlie had caught Lisa’s eye and suddenly in a tipsy haze they were back at her place.  Lisa now had a weary caution as she looked over at Charlie.

“Thanks for bringing it, Charlie,” she said, the sincerity clear in her voice.   Charlie had insisted she take it off when they had been undressing each other, an odd, and equalising gesture.   As Lisa put the thing back on, the imbalance returned.

Charlie loathed to do that to her, but all she could say was “It’s no problem…   How did you find this semester’s meetings?” 

Charlie was friendly, her tone overcompensating for the obvious power imbalance.  With a single name, she could ruin this girl.  Her claim status already made her stick out like an alpha females dick .

“Good, I guess.  It’s… well… it’s interesting.” 

“Yeah?”

“The meet and greets are a nice change of pace, I guess.”

“The equality alternative?”   Charlie wasn’t a member.  The more radical members of the omega rights group on campus mentioned it occasionally at meetings and meetups.  There was a stigma behind padlocking yourself to parliament house columns which she stepped away from.  It was a little too much.

“It’s nice,” Lisa continued.  “We had a new guy there this week.  It’s been quiet for the past month or so, but we must be doing something right.”

“Hopefully.”

 

Charlie thanked her and reached for her handbag.   It wasn’t worth drawing this out and she had the new Game of Thrones to catch up on.   It was obvious that Lisa didn’t want Charlie here; to her, she was just an unfortunate reminder. 

 

 

***

 

Cas opened the door after the first knock.   He had an anxious furrow in his brow, and Dean had a half forced smile.  They nodded politely at each other, staving off the impending conversation with meaningless greetings.  

Dean walked past Cas and sat down on one of the couches in the small apartment.    Cas continued to stand, pointing to the kitchen, offering a drink.  The sound of Cas’s step resounding in the apartment from the quiet.

“Is everything ok, Dean?” he said when Dean didn’t speak.

Dean looked at Cas, and back down at his hands.  The apartment was simple, with large posters adorning the walls.   Cas’s was studying him, his whole face confused and sympathetic.  

“God Cas.  Stop looking at me like that!”  Dean snapped.   Cas tilted his head slightly. 

“Are you sure you are alright Dean?”  asked, keeping his voice neutral.  

Dean huffed and rolled his eyes.   How dare Cas?  How dare he just stand there and look at him like that.   He let the man fuck him, sure, but he still had his dignity, for Christ’s sake.  He was still a beta, and he wasn’t going to be treated like some helpless Omega, who had their first taste of dick.  He still had his goddamn dignity in all this.

 

Cas went to the kitchen and poured Dean a glass of water.   He set in on the coffee table, while Dean started up at him, his hands still clenched. 

“I do not understand why you came over if do not wish to talk to me, Dean?”

Dean sighed and took a sip.  Cas sat on the armchair across from him, leaning forward and focussing intently. 

“So now you want to talk, Cas.”

Cas’s face pulled back, confused.  “Would you like to talk now Dean?” he asked, “ Is… Is this about last night?”

Dean stared up at Cas.   The other man’s  face just looked at him, uncomprehending.  

“Cas. Look.  About last night,”  Dean paused, and took another sip.   This was so far out of his comfort zone.  Damn Charlie, this never happened with Alpha chicks.  

Cas’s eyes were piercing, so focussed on Dean, worry now evident in his expression.

“Are you hurt Dean?”  Cas asked, “Did I hurt you.”

Dean gave a startled “no” and began again.  “It’s just, you get I’m not an Omega right.    I’m not some pack-bitch.   The sex was, well it was fine Cas.  It was pretty awesome really. I…”

“I do not treat you like an Omega, Dean.  You offered last night.”

“Because you’re an Alpha, that’s what you like.”  Dean was standing now, his face going red.

Cas stood up gingerly and started up at him.  “Dean,” his lips pulled into a smile, “if you wanted to be on top, all you needed to do was ask.”

Dean’s face looked a little confused, taking in the information.   Cas stepped forward, his hand reaching out to touch Dean’s shoulder.   “I do not look at you like that Dean.   That. Uh… last night, it does not make you inferior.  It was great Dean.  You were great” 

Cas’s face was blushing now, and Dean put a hand round his back, both going in for the kiss.  There was a slight nervousness as their mouths moved against each other, neither wanting to be the first to use tongue. 

Cas wrapped his hands around Deans back, stroking gently, and pulling their bodies together.   Dean started to grip at Cas’s hair, a hand at the base of his neck.  Their actions became urgent as they deepened the kiss.  Dean nibbled at Cas’s  lips, biting down hard as Cas groaned back.

They broke the kiss when Dean untangled their stance and pushed Cas back towards the bedroom door.  “Let’s do this darling.”

Cas looked at him, there was certainly lust in his eyes, but it felt wrong to do this, to just stoke Dean’s… ego.   

 

Cas stepped forward and took Dean’s hand, leading him into the bedroom.  Dean followed, unsure.    Cas sat at the foot of the bed and patted beside himself, gesturing for Dean to sit. 

Dean folded his arms across his chest and Cas sighed.  “Dean?”

“Yes Cas?”

Cas looked up at him almost helplessly: none of this was working.

“Dean – I don’t want to fuck you.” Cas said, his voice now pleading.

Dean snapped back at him, “Yeah, I’m really getting that Cas.”  His hands were waving around now.  “For fuck’s sake Cas…”

 “Dean!”  Cas looked up at him, rubbed his face and continued.  “Dean, I don’t want to fuck you.  I want to make love, surely there is supposed to be some passion between us. Between boyfriends in general.”

Dean took a moment before sitting beside him quickly.  He didn't know what to say, so he began to kiss him again. 

Cas pushed back and pulled their lips apart.   “But you need to stop thinking as yourself as the omega.  You’re not, and I don’t want you to be.”  Cas took a breath, “Not that it would matter if you were, your brother’s one right?”

“Yeah.”    It was odd, because Sammy wasn't really an Omega.   He was, well, he was Sam.  And he wasn't…  he didn't…  it wasn't like that.  Sam didn't need an Alpha like that.  Not that he wanted to think about his brother at this particular moment.

 

Dean looked back at Cas, who was now reaching for the chest of draws by the bedside and pulled out a condom.   He passed it to Dean. 

“Dean Winchester.  If it would make you feel better, you can top an Alpha.  I don’t care either way.  I like you.  It doesn’t matter to me.”

 

He lightly kissed Cas’s mouth and within moments they had their shirts off.   Dean pushed Cas back onto the bed and spread over him, cupping his face in his and smiling down as he leaned in to kiss down his neck.

He sucked on Cas’s neck, their hands moving to unzip each other’s pants, the scraping of the fabric of their pants together the only sound apart from the fervent moans as Dean bit down on Cas’s neck.  

He took a second, before moving down Cas’s body, gently kissing down his torso, Cas lying under him and looking over Dean. 

Dean unzipped their pants and began to pull them down, pushing them off the bed.   Cas kissed Dean again, a gesture of trust with open mouthed affection, Dean reaching down to palm at Cas’s groin through his underwear.

Cas pulled back and grabbed the lube on the bedside table, still there from last night.   Dean smiled, taking it from Cas and began to work his hand into Cas’s underwear lightly stroking the forming erection and base of Cas’s cock.   The unformed knot was still a little puffy from last night, the skin soft, as Dean’s hand caressed Cas. 

Cas moaned into Deans mouth, showing Dean his affection, and damn well enjoying Dean being himself in bed, albeit a little more dominant.

Dean pulled off Cas’s underwear and then his own, now fully naked.  It had been dark last night, and they were both enjoying the sight of each other.   The shapely bodies and well formed torsos came together in writhing passion.

Pressing a kiss to Cas’s ear, Dean told Cas to turn over and Dean began to prepare him, opening the lube and pushing his fingers into him carefully— like Cas had done for him, and just as careful.   God he could be an idiot sometimes.  

“Thanks Cas”  was all he could muster in the moment.

Dean removed his fingers, to a small grunt from Cas, who willed him to continue.   Cas turned around and kissed Dean, now sitting up, his knees on either side of Dean’s hips.   The skin of his thighs is smooth and they rut against each other for a moment.

The breathing is heavy and rapid.  Cas’s hips rise off Deans lap and line up with the head of Dean’s dick. 

Dean took a second to nip at Cas’s neck before pushing into him, falling back a little on the bed, slowly inching his way in.  There was no alcohol to numb the senses, and they both took each other in, Cas less metaphorically than Dean. 

Dean bottomed out and a whimper escaped Cas’s lips.  “Oh fuck Dean.”

The stayed in that position for a second, allowing time to adjust.  Dean never honestly having imagined that this would happen, Cas looking so beautiful like this.  The passion was clear in his eyes as he stared up at Dean.  He pulled out in a long stroke, sucking in a deep breath as the pleasure began to overwhelm him.

He began to thrust, a steady rhythm forming, Cas moaning Dean’s name and a series of profanities.  Dean alternated between grunts and “my God.” 

Dean’s hands pressed into the sheets, a new heat pooling in belly, taking in shorter strokes.   “My God Cas – ah – ah-  you’re – oooh  - beautiful.”

It tipped Cas over the edge, crying out Dean’s name, as he came. 

Dean thrust in again, longer strokes with faster pace, until he too collapsed.  Both were sweaty and somewhat worn out, but smiling and panting heavily.  Dean pulled out carefully, and disposed of the condom.   Cas turned around, and embraced Dean on the bed.   Their bodies were warm, same as before, but that unsettling feeling at the bottom of Dean’s stomach was now replaced with pure blissful exhaustion.   He gave a Cas a little peck on the cheek.

“Feel better?”  Cas asked, still breathing hard.

“With you Cas, always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, huge thankyou to Meatball42 for beta'ing. 
> 
> Also, first (prose) smut scene. What a milestone!  
> ... yes. well. enjoy :)


	11. Chapter 11

Sam was quiet his way to the bar.  As the early evening set it during his brief, there was a slight chill.  His large coat was concealing and warm, but he still felt exposed to the world.  His sleeve covered his wrist, and therefore bracelet, but it seemed everyone could see, judging him now for his height and his stride.  Too large, too unbecoming for an omega, especially one unclaimed.  

Purgatory was still mostly empty, thankfully.   The bouncer at the front stopping to mark an ω and x on his hand.  Sam recoiled his hand back, the guy was forceful, but at least he didn’t demand a sniff.  The memory of the alphas surrounding him and toying at him, coming into his head.  Given what had happened last time, he didn’t want to go in again, he didn’t need to retaliate, the taste of swallowed pride sitting sour in his throat.

 

It was odd to see the ground floor well lit, but the band was still setting up on the small stage.  Sam took a second to discern all the alphas in the room.  The pleasant tang the overpowering scent now had, he assumed was another heat symptom.  At least, there weren’t any knott-head alphas in the room at the moment.  None he could see, they all smelt the same.  

Most of the betas seemed to be upstairs in the seating areas, and maybe some omegas.  Their scent was lighter, fresher.  It wasn’t intimidating, it didn’t make him wary or cautious. 

 

He ordered some water at the bar, and walked up the stairs.  Up there the smell was pungent, alcohol and sweat, it was a bar once all things were said and done.   The smell, now he was up there, was a little sweeter.  Almost pleasant.  He took out a stool and sat down, sipping his water and checking email on his phone.

A hand grabbed his shoulder.   He tensed.  There was no alpha smell.  Not like last time.

“Sammy!”  Gabriel grinned and pulled up a stool, tucking his feet around the stool’s legs.  “Nothing but smile should be on that face, what’s troubling you?”

Sam’s brow furrowed.  He didn’t think he looked worried.  He felt spooked, certainly.  But he could keep that hidden.  It wasn’t worth bringing out.

“Sam.  Tell me what’s wrong,” Gabriel said sternly.

“Knott-head alphas.  Boundaries.  You know the way.”

Gabriel looked at him, the smile fading a little.  “I’d like to tell you that was a one-off, kiddo.  But it’s not.”  He paused, the smile returning with a giggle, “Knott, Sammy, Knott!”

Sam rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.  It was sweet, immature certainly, but sweet.  Conversation with Gabriel was like that. A sharp edge of humour, always undercutting everything, which in truth, was what Sam needed at the moment. 

Gabriel ordered the drinks, cavity-in-your-teeth cocktails.   Sam’s was non-alcoholic. Gabriel had the pleasure of being 22.   The bar eventually began to fill up, the simple conversation waning in favour of shouting at each other as the music blared. 

They walked out of the bar and headed down the street.  Sam’s strides were slow as Gabriel bounced along, the conversation continuing into the cool night air. Gabriel was shivering, and Sam, instinctively, offered his coat.

Gabriel puffed out his chest a little, “You coming onto me, Winchester?” a flirtatious tone to mock Sam.

Sam began to fluster, before getting out an awkward “N… No.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, “Relax Samsquatch. I’m gorgeous.  You know it.” He gave a wink.  Sam smiled again, goddamn it, Gabriel was adorable. 

 Sam looked down at the pavement, his face downturned.  The brisk air making everything seem gentler, and the streetlights almost soothing.

“Um… Gabriel?”  Sam eventually asked.

“My name.  Yes.”

Sam would have pushed him over.   But he asked instead, “Would…  Would Jo offer you her jacket?”

 

It was a harmless question.  But Sam needed to know.  He wanted to know, for Gabriel’s sake. He wanted to know Gabriel was with a good Alpha.  He was looking at this differently, oppositely now.  But Jo was still his friend, and he needed to know she hadn’t become an a jerk down the line. 

Gabriel looked at him, the gaze intent.  He looked forward, tried to tell Sam what Sam needed to hear.  “We’re a pack Sam.  It’s solidarity. Giving a jacket… that kind of affection only comes with couples.  She can’t offer _me_ her jacket.”  He sighed.   “And I’m hardly her size.  I know from up there we all look like ants, but down here there are dress sizes.”

It wasn’t the answer Sam was looking for, but it was honest and sincere.   And that answer in itself, could have been much worse.  

They walked until they reached a small café, the conversation pleasantly drifting away from the question.   The space inside was, first and foremost, still open; but the empty and private atmosphere made Sam wonder if there really was a purpose to their evening.  Gabriel waved to the guy behind the counter, and the pair sat down. 

If there was an agenda, Gabriel took his – sweet – time.They ordered dessert, Gabriel choosing a double helping of black forest cake, which he offered to share with Sam, who was content with water, and watching the utter glee on Gabe’s face.

“It’s not so late, Sammy! What are you worried about!  Indulge!”  

Sam politely declined, placing a hand on his stomach and pulling a bit of a face.  He didn’t feel so sick, but the imminent heat wasn’t helping the edge.  Truth be told, just being with another Omega was helping.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, “Heat symptoms?”

“Something like that.”  Sam paused, asking, “How can you tell?”

“You smell like this cake Sammy, and I’m not even an alpha!” 

Sam smiled at that, somewhat unsure whether Gabe was being facetious or not, but it still made him feel a little better.  Gabriel took a bite and licked the cream from around his mouth. 

“I would make this at home, but it’s not exactly doing anything for my physique.  More now, while Jo doesn’t have to know, but um…  Speaking of Alphas, Sam, I do have something to tell you.”

Sam’s stomach clenched along with his chest He wasn’t quite sure why.

Gabriel began, “Sam, Jo has asked you to meet her, this Saturday right?” 

Sam nodded in reply. 

“I wanted to give you some forewarning.   I know. This is a lot to take in, hell! It would terrify me.  But it’s life, and I don’t want you to feel, like I felt.  Sam, it’s not like I want to push you into anything, you’re old enough that…  I don’t know.   I really…  But I do know Jo and…”

Gabriel was babbling, adorably, in Sam’s opinion.   He passed over the glass of water, Gabriel took a sip, and began again.

 

“Sam.  Jo is going to ask you to join her pack.”

 

Gabriel took the final bite of his cake, wiping his mouth with a napkin.   Sam’s face was confused, his mouth opened, about to say something.  It closed again, like a freshly caught fish: confused and unsure of what to do, but slowly coming to the realisation that there were sharp hooks pulling at his life and his body.  He could only gape at the air, unsuited for his lungs, and hope the fishermen were kind, or that some miracle, some goddamn miracle would occur and he could return to the sea.  

The guy from the counter came over with the check, and politely told them it was time to leave.  The sky was now fully black and all the stars were out.  

They walked outside and Gabriel began to point the stars out, hoping to take Sam’s mind off this new dilemma.   He knew how he had felt when he had been told.   Betrayed by his family, wanting to run away from it all.  Alpha brothers, fighting and bickering with chips on their shoulders, tearing at him.  To get away, properly.   He couldn’t, he was too young and the Gods were not kind to his fate. 

But Sammy, he could choose.   And without the stigma of being picked and courted by some alpha usually at his age.  Undesirable and picked last.  Besides, and it was selfish of Gabriel to think it, he wanted Sammy to join his pack.  Jo was a decent Alpha.   Sam could do a lot worse.  

Gabriel was silent as they walked down the street, to the train station.  Sam eventually broke the lingering silence.

“Thanks for tonight Gabriel.”  

“No problem kiddo.   You looked like you needed some pick me up.   Don’t think it worked, though.”

“It’s just nice to be around someone who understands, really.”

They saw each other off and Sam headed home.  He felt more confused, more lost, and more unsure since the doctor had confirmed his status.  And Jo hadn’t even asked the question yet. 


	12. Chaper 12

Sam shook Dean awake at 6:30 on Saturday.    “Omega clinic.  Drive me.    Not having another repeat of last week, Dean.”

“Drive yourself, I need my beauty rest,” he muttered from the pillow.

Sam sighed and shook him again, “Do you want the impala sitting out there all day?”

Dean pulled himself for the bed and looked up at his brother, glaring, with arms over his chest.  He got up and pulled the covers off, his face enough to send most cowering.

“Son of a bitch, Sam.  Fine.  I’ll haul your Omega ass out there.   But you’re driving.”

 

Sam left Dean in the car when they made it to the clinic.  The drive had been pleasant, but Dean was still asleep, and Sam wanted go in alone.  It didn’t feel right to include his brother, and sitting in the waiting room by himself wasn’t so bad.

Dr. Harvelle jabbed the needle in, and put a round plaster on the reddening skin.   At least this time he didn’t have to take his pants off.   Although this week, he could tell she was an omega, without knowing there was a cuff under her sleeve.  A scent he inferred was menopausalseemed to radiate from her; these markers of gender something that he had never noticed, never cared about, was now the first thing he saw when he looked at a person.  

The Doctor handed him a prescription for some mild suppressants, “look, I’ll be honest.  Ask for the strongest stuff they have.    There’s no need feeling like shit for a week if you don’t have an Alpha to help you out.   It’s not worth the pain of it.    I’ve prescribed you all I can, but given your current scent, well, best of luck kid.”

 

Sam thanked her and headed out into the waiting room.  The room felt more clinical than last time, less forgiving.   He took the backdoor out and decided to walk through the courtyard.    The sign read directions to the various Omega specific facilities throughout the complex.    

There was a desk in the centre next to the tree, near where last week the protesters had gathered.    Dubiously approaching, the saw the sign on the front:

_Ω health rights – keep them free regardless of pack!_

As well as sheet and pens, stickers and various pro-omega paraphernalia, as well as a sign-sheet for a petition sat on the centre of the table.

“Excuse me, but can I sign the petition?” 

“Of course!” came an immediate reply, the girl looking up from her phone with a smile.  Now he could see her face, there was a spark of recognition.  The dark hair and – _The Equality Alternative!_

“I’m Sam, I didn’t catch your name last time, but we met at the meeting?”

Her eyes lit up, passing him the sheet of paper, “It’s Lisa.”  She was smiling now, “ So what do you think of it all?” 

“The group, the ideas, the…    the chaining yourselves to buildings?”  He replied, not sarcastic but gently mocking.

"There’s - ”  she threw her hands up, finding the example to playfully counter him, “- 50 sheep to a pen.  The wool is tainted, but the sheep are fine.  So what do you do?  You shave off all the wool, because you know, as we all do, that sheep grow new wool, but they need a chance to make it better.  We need something better.”   

She took a breath and took back the petition and pen.  “This, what we do, is washing the wool.  If you forgive the metaphor.” 

Well that’s one reaction.

Sam considered, politely taking a pamphlet and heading back to the car.   Activism was certainly more thought-provoking than it was last week, more personal.  But there were bigger things weighing on his mind.   His meeting with Jo was this afternoon.  What he was going to say to her.   The pressure of his upcoming heat forcing him to consider, which in itself seemed ridiculous.  He was not the first person to go through a heat without an alpha, and he was certainly not going to be the last.

But if it was as bad as they said, maybe it was worth getting Jo’s help.   And then decide if, but no, there was no if.  He needed a pack.   It was simple.  And he also couldn’t snub Jo, an old friend, by saying no without reason.  She was an alpha, and it seemed somehow wrong to feel ungrateful for her offer.  

In his mind, it broke down simply:

  1.       He was going to have to join a pack eventually
  2.       Jo was offering
  3.       She was a friend, better her than someone else. 
  4.       His heat was coming up
  5.       Alphas can help with all heats



But a nagging dread undercut all that.   The reality that was, committing yourself to someone, to letting them touch you and enteryou, because you needed it at a primal level.  It felt so fucked up suddenly.  It was fucked up. It had never seemed fucked up.   But now, staring down this barrel it seemed like whatever direction he took, it was the same damn bullet.    

He didn’t love Jo.  That much he knew.  He supposed he had always thought there was love between Alpha and Omega; and maybe his situation was different to other Omegas, but how much can a 15 year old really love someone?  How much could he really love someone who supposedly loved 4? 5? people the same.  It was idealistic and it suddenly felt so naive.  

Ultimately, he conceded opening the car door, he would have to choose an Alpha eventually.  That much was certain. 

 

 

The drive back was pleasant.  Dean politely asked how it went, but asked Sam to spare him the details.   And that had a little jab of annoyance to go with, but it wasn’t really worth much more than a glare, but it still hurt, in all those tiny gigantic ways. 

Sam didn’t tell Dean about Jo.  Dean would give crap advice, he knew that much, and he was a little bit pissed at his brother.    He’d have to, eventually.  But he wanted to put it off until he’d made a decision.  He wanted the words to tell his brother he was being a jackass.  But it seemed like, a month ago he himself was the same dickwad, but there was no way to explain how it had skewed everything.  So Sam bit his tongue and asked:

“How are things with you and Cas?”

Dean eyes snapped to Sam and then back to the road, his fingers gripping the wheel tighter, his thumbs wrapping round the steering wheels leather. 

“Things are – things are – things are great Sammy.  Why do you ask?”

Sam threw his hands up, “alright dude.  If you’re sure. ”    He went for the gut punch: “whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here.”

 

***

 

Sam was on time.   He walked through the section of lounges in the atrium and checked the clock again.  Jo was late.  The bean bags and cushions were mostly empty, a sparse few readers sitting around.   However, he couldn’t see her blonde hair around.   He sat down, the only thing to do was wait.  

He sniffed out a few Alphas around and a few Betas.  Not so many Omegas, but that was pretty typical of most universities.   He really did stand out now, it wasn’t just self-consciousness.   He pushed those thoughts from his mind as he waited for her. 

The Arrogance of Alphas.   Absolute arrogance.  

He sighed.  The quiet rage wasn’t justified.  Jo wouldn’t snub him on purpose by forcing him to wait.  That was just prejudice on his part.   Given the decision he had made, he had to hope, had to believe she wasn’t like the rest. 

Jo did get come eventually.  And apologised, Sam noted.   God.  He needed to note that now. 

They chatted banally, walking around, for half an hour before she gestured for him to sit down.  The grass was soft, and the air was warm.  It was a nice day, a nice day to simply hang out with a friend.  But the twisting knot in his stomach as they did brought with it an ominous shadow, like the clouds overhead.  

She stood over him and looked in his eyes.

“Sam, look.  I’ve been thinking.  You need an Alpha.  And there’s more than enough room in my pack.”  Sam looked up at her, an empty smile pulling onto his face. 

She continued, “Will you, Sam Winchester, Join my pack?”  It wasn’t mocking, or teasing, but somehow it felt like she was toying with him.   His mind had run the question thousands of times, but it had never been phrased like that.  So tender and gentle, but there wasn’t real affection between them. Not yet, at least.

He looked down at the ground, the knot in his stomach unfurling and rubbing at his insides.  It wanted to escape, tear itself out of his body just as much as he wanted to leave this moment.  Escape to last week, last month, any time when he could look his friend in the eyes and say anything but:

“Yes”

And with that it was over.  He was any Omega, no trace of his beta past.  All that wiped free, and replaced with collars and cuffs and chains. 

 

 

Jo drove him home.   They spoke softly, her babbling and almost bubbly as she turned round the streets.  His mind was cautious of the whole thing.  It wasn’t about Jo, not her specifically.  It was the situation, and she was trying to help.  She was doing what she could, which happened to be what any Alpha would. 

 

They turned into his street and she began to talk about the spare bedroom at her house, asking him about moving vans and boxes.   Things like bank accounts and insurance forms would come later.   For now it was all about getting him home. To the pack. 

Jo parked the car and Sam invited her in for a coffee. Technically, she could demand.  But he wasn’t sure yet where he stood on the whole thing, and Jo wasn’t the type.  He hoped.   He was going to see a whole new side of her.    

Getting out of the car she walked round to open his door.  She offered a hand and pulled him out.   The height difference noticeable now, but somehow it felt she towered over him with her smile.  Jo went for the hug.

“Sam, you are going to love it.  I’m glad you said yes, I really am.  I was worried all week whether you would want this, but I really think you’re going to like it.”

His shoulders hunched, pulling back from the hug.  A quick peck on the cheek, and she said goodbye, getting back into the car.   

 

***

Sam spent the afternoon cleaning his room.  Packing a suitcase and sorting things out.  There wasn’t anything in terms of furniture he needed to keep.  The entire house felt cold, and empty.   It felt wrong to sit on the couch and watch tv, making him feel on edge, and unsure.

Gabriel called him that night.   The honey of his voice welcoming him to the pack, the excitement contagious.  A delight filled Sam thinking about it, nerves and jitters about joining the pack, topped with genuine curiosity displacing the worry.   And soon they were discussing the new episode of Game of Thrones, like any other night with any other person.  

The whole thing was odd.   But _he did want_ to be a part of the pack.  It was confusing as all hell, but it hoped this feeling wouldn’t fade.  Doubt filled him, when he thought of telling this to Gabriel.  Who else could he tell?   Instead, the conversation wanned, and Gabriel told him about the spare room, next to his.   Jo had it in mind for Sam to move in tomorrow, and wanted to check with Sam if this was possible.  

“Of course!”  The response was a bit quick, but it was better than the alternative.   It grew later and they said goodbye, a reluctance to end the conversation.  

Sam clicked the phone down. 

If only it could be like this with Jo.  An easiness, a genuine excitement without the bitter icing of anxiety.  

 But he couldn’t dwell on this, Sam still needed to tell everyone.   Explain it to them, and to his older his brother, why he was moving out.  Why he was bound to Jo, and the wasn’t like them anymore.  Just a…  he didn’t have a word.     There weren’t words for how he felt.  Sam took a breath, again trying not to dwell on it.  Trying, desperately to rid of the disquiet, and the unsettled parts of his mind screaming at him, He called everyone down into the living room.

It had been one goddamn week.  And this is what it came to.

They all learned against the various parts of the furniture around the room.   Sam rolled up his sleeves and began:

“So get this…”  He gulped, “Jo has asked me to join her pack.”

Dean eyes widened, stepping forward to pull his brother into a bear hug.   “Well done Sammy!  You know what they say about Alpha chicks.”   He slapped Sam on the back in a attempt at misguided congratulation.

Meg huffed, rolling her eyes.    Garth and Ruby stood there a little solemn, a little more understanding of what Sam was telling them.

Dean stepped back.  Sam went on “So I’m moving out.  It’s all sorted, but I just wanted to formally tell you all.   I am going to miss this place but - ” He held his cuffed wrist up and shrugged.   

Nothing more needed to be said. 


	13. Chapter 13

Jo sat at the end of the table, facing everyone.  Sam pulled out a seat, while Michael moved the pot to the centre, serving out the pasta.  He started with Jo first.  All the little things that marked her out as the Alpha.  More than the smell.    The sense of control radiating from her, like steam from the pot on the centre table. 

He’d spent the morning observing these little things.  Little gestures and actions, swelling the disquiet within him.   He caught himself, casually, waiting to check something with Jo.  And all at once everything silenced, and everything within him stopped moving, suddenly lifeless with compliance. 

“So Sam, how did you find today?”  Jo asked, before taking a mouthful of pasta, snapping him out of the abhorrent thought.   “- sorry I couldn’t give you a tour of the house today, help you get settled in”

“It went fine.  Anna helped me unpack while the others were out.”  Sam said, nodding in thanks to Michal who was filling his plate.   He couldn’t revile Jo.  But he couldn’t feel like this constantly either.  This was the inevitable, and it could be worse. 

Anna looked to Sam and then to Jo, her expression affirming what Sam had said.  Perhaps she was looking for approval from Jo.  Sam couldn’t tell, but he had a nagging doubt that only seemed to grow.  The others, did they feel like him?   This feeling, which had mellowed from hatred, to some form of unsavoury acceptance.   

The dining room was larger than the sharehouse, the décor modern, yet homely.  It didn’t feel fake, but he wanted it too.  Sam wanted this to be a lie.  Peel back the surface and everything either bolster wood or maggots.  However it _was_ real.  And that was the crime of it. 

“Now Sam,” Jo began, “your heats going to start tonight, by any guess darling.  Better time as any to get the mark!”  She was frank, and somehow gentle about it.  Casually discussing consummating his joining the pack at dinner.

He must have seemed perturbed because she said, “Sam.   We are a pack.  There is no need to get squeamish, nothing anyone here isn’t aware off.  No embarrassment.”

It was flippant almost.  All his fellow packmates were nodding and smiling at him, offering an almost macabre reassurance.  He’d given his consent when he’d said yes, he’d made his bed and now he had to lie in it.  With her.  He had to lie with Jo.   Sam had to have sex with Jo and now everyone at the table was looking at him and smiling and offering reassurance.  Because they all slept with Jo.  Often.   And now, oh god, now.  Now he would.  

The moment passed, as they do.   In truth, this was only a small notch in the bedpost, given the grand scheme of things.    He was an Omega, and this wasn’t the worst that could happen.  He could vote, and work and have his opinion acknologed.  He could also say no.  Dead tendrils of resignation worked their way through him.  The conversation changed. 

From the corner of his eye he saw Gabriel give him a look.  Close enough to pity, but Sam knew better.  It was empathy.   Sam saw Gabriel twitch a little, pulling a smile back onto his face and laughing and smiling along with the others.

 

It was only after dinner, while he was helping with the dishes that he realised he’d forgotten the prescription. It was just Gabriel and him by the sink, as Michael and Anna had cooked dinner.

The kitchen was a fair size, with lots of bench space.   It was a pinch sterile, but the company gave it a homely feel.   Gabriel showed him which pots go where, taking a moment to show him where the ones he liked for baking were kept. 

After they drained the sink and stacked the dish rack, Sam leisurely wiped the benches down.  Gabriel hoped up on the island, crossing his legs and patting the sides of his trousers. 

“Sammy?”

Sam leaned back against the counter, and even then was still eye level with Gabriel.  It was an odd thing for an Omega to be this tall.  Cumbersome and misplaced.

“draw.  Second to left?” he pointed, waving his arm about with the request.

Sam bent down, and pulled out the draw.   It was filled with candy, both the generic and the branded international stuff from his bedroom last week.   He took out a lollipop and a small chocolate bar, and handed the sugar to Gabriel.

Unwrapping it in a smooth motion, he sucked it into his mouth with a pop.  “You read my mind.”    Flavoured lollipops were Gabriel’s favourite, he didn’t mind which.  

His lips were lightly pink and shiny with the sugar.  Sam couldn’t help but notice the sweetness there.  Gabriel had welcomed him, more warmly than the others.  The sense Jo’s pack gave him wasn’t quite jealousy, more a sense ruffled feathers about his presence.   Gabriel on the other hand was his friend, who understood him, and if nothing else, sitting here in the kitchen with him gave a sense of belonging which he craved.

 

***

 

A buzz beneath his skin like never before, a new heat spreading between his legs.  Pricking pains, driving him to be filled.  To sate him and take away the light-headedness and ache he felt. 

In truth, he just felt really horny.   It wasn’t the overwhelming consumption of his mind.   The all controlling heat symptoms he had been taught Omegas faced.  Needing their Alphas, unable to control themselves.   He could get up if he wanted to, that much he knew.

However Jo would be back in a second, and this was one of the most welcomed formalities.   

He lay down on the bed and waited for her.  There wasn’t much to be said.   Usually in this situation, he would probably put a condom on.  But.   Well.  For obvious reasons, there was no need for _him_ to do that.

Jo entered the room silently.   

She paced around the bed observing him.  “You look lovely Sam.   So beautiful like this, for me.”

He tried not to wince at that.  It was true. 

But fuck, it was true.  And fuck, this was happening.

She removed her clothes quickly, placing them on the dresser and crawled onto the bed, to face him.     The scent of her like this was unmistakably Alpha, willing him to submit, just as he was.

“I’m serious Sam.  You make a lovely Omega, ‘m so glad you joined my pack.  Want you like this- ”   her lips pressed against his, kissing into his mouth.  The necessary affection to spark arousal.   A courtesy for him, he could feel her erection pressing against his leg. 

She angled her hips, her length teasing between his legs.   He could feel the tip brushing against the nerve clusters, new and sensitive, instinctively responding to the stimulation.

Jo pressed ever slowly.  Sam gasped at the unsettling sensation.  Fuck that was different.  Pain and pleasure mixing into something his mind didn’t have words for yet.

She bottomed out, giving them both a second to breathe.

“You ok Sam?”

“ _Oh Fuck Jo_.”  He breathed out, the sensation overtaking him.  A combination of basic biology and the beginning of a heat. 

Jo rutted against him, eliciting another exclamation.

“I’m going to need to mark you Sam. - ”  She moved more substantially, “- make you mine.  Really mine.”   

His hands pressed against her hips.  Her pace steadied. She palmed her hands against his torso, pressing down and marking the skin with her thumbs. 

“You have more chest hair than Michael”, she noted, her hands gripping him tightly.  

Her eyes intent, while a soft moan escaped her.  On impulse he rocked back against her, the desire pooling in his groin.

“Saaaam” she breathed into his ear, “you’re gorgeous darling.  Really.  My bea- ”  she pushed forward, “beatuful bitch.  So beautiful”

Sam’s heart was racing, the strong scent burning his nostrils.  It was unforgiving, to be feared and submitted to.   Her pace quickened, pulling Sam against her, angling better to account for the confusion of her groin pounding at his.

She pulled out, she moved up to kiss his forehead, her weight solid on top of him and pushing him down.  She kissed down his throat, long gentle flicks with her tongue, caressing every centimetre of flesh.  Her body was warm, and her mouth warmer still. 

The teeth against his skin were sharp as ice.  A cool chill running through his chest, contrasting the primal heat in his groin. 

A quick kiss on his neck, her mouth sucking at the area, forceful enough to bruise. “Sammy.  Ohhh Sam.   Mine, all mine”  

Her teeth bit down, enough to break the flesh.  Enough to bruise, and bleed.  The scent of blood against the scent of sex and domination.   His blood. 

He keened, sound low in his throat, somewhere between pain and eroticism, his body welcoming the sensation.

She suckled at the bite, lapping her tongue against the teeth marks, intent as she laved at the flesh that was now hers.    Biting again and again around it, deepening the mark, deepening the bond.  He was hers.  The pain proof, the sharp sting of her saliva burning as it dripped against the raw flesh.   Scaring the tissue.

Jo gave a quick kiss the area, and pulled back to kiss Sam properly.  Her lips were red and her teeth were stained with blood.  He could taste it, her tongue circling his.   The rawness to the kiss, was warm and affectionate.  Sam took the chance to be aggressive, nibbling at his bottom lip, again tasting his own blood.

She yelped, and pulled back in surprise.  Before pulling back down his body, and pushing back into him again, finish the mating bond.   He moaned her name when she bottomed out,

“Jo.    Oh god  Jo.  _My god_!” 

Her arms wrapped around his back and pulled his belly upwards, pushing his upper torso against her pillows.   “Say my name, Darling.” 

He could feel the heat of her stomach against his dick, none of the usual sensations spreading within him.  Her pace becoming quicker and more eratic, willing him to come. 

He could feel a new pressure filling him, her strokes deeper and coming with less ease.  He placed a hand on her back, trying to pull her down into him.  A small groan escaping her lips, her scent thickening.  

She pushed into him, stretching the sensitive area as she tried and failed to pull out her knott.  They were locked together.  Her breath hitched, her hands gripping against his skin.  Squeezing the flesh possessively as her body shuddered with orgasm.  Rutting against him a few times, and breathing heavily.  Sam winced as base of her penis finished inflating, flaring the nerve cells.

She angled her body upwards, pushing forward into him, and shuddering again. 

“How was that Sam?”  she asked, her breathing returning to normal.

“Different.  Very different.”

“pleasant I hope.”  The rhetorical phrase hung there as Jo’s fingers moved up his body, caressing him possessively.   One hand snaked around his back, the other moving up to press against the mass of red flesh on his shoulder.    He could feel her soft flesh against him, the warmth of her breasts and gentle tickle of her blonde hair as it spilled down onto his torso. 

They lay their pressed together.  His breathing shallow as he waited.  The sting of his shoulder continuing, the flayed skin continuing to throb even when she moved her hand away.  

It wasn’t nearly as romantic as it seemed in porn.  He was sated, somewhat, but he hadn’t come.  He could feel his erection softening, despite the pressure of their bodies.  Practically useless. It was stuck between them, just as hers was rammed in him.     

 

 

They stayed in that position for a long time, holding onto the forced intimacy.   Her knott deflating as his blood continued trickle out, staining the sheets. 

She pulled out, Sam wincing with the pain.  He was still a little raw and she was still somewhat inflated.

“Shit Sam, should have put a towel down!”  he had moved, and she saw the extent to of the blood on the sheets.

Jo offered a hand and pulled him off the bed.  Sam’s head was still a little cloudy, post-coital and post-bonding.   The mark would take a while to set, but her saliva would ensure its permanence.   As well as temper his pheromones.  It seemed like to should be worse, like he should want to prostrate himself before her.  Begging and pleading and screaming for her to fuck him.  Now that he was bonded to her, and he was in heat.  

Truth be told, he did want that.   There was _something_.   But at the moment he wanted to cuddle, but the open wound on his neck meant he couldn’t ask.  He didn’t really want to.  Jo was his alpha, but there was no intimacy.   They could fuck.  They could do this, without needing to be a couple.  Not that they could be, what with Anna and Michael and….  Gabriel.  

He slowly rose up from the bed, trying to reduce the groggy feeling.    It was late, and she probably wanted sleep.   This was her bedroom, everything considered. He paced to the bathroom turned on the light.  

Sam took out a cloth from the draw and soaked it in warm water.  He pressed it too his shoulder, and soon the cloth was stained a deep cherry red.   The bathroom was white tiled, the with a white vanity and the bright lights, all coming together to make him squint, staving off a headache.  

This night was as much of a bitch as he was. 

He turned the water to soak out the cloth again, holding onto the hope that it was supposed to bleed this much and it was completely normal.  

The door knocked and a head poked through the door, there was a succinct lack of privacy in the house.    Gabriel entered, closing the door behind him and offering Sam a close-lipped smile of comfort.   Which turned to concern when he saw the blood.  His eyes sparked with worry, fading softly to understanding. 

“You ok, Samsquash”   he said in a low voice; not really asking a question once he saw the disease on Sams face, before turning to open the cabinet behind the mirror and take out some gauze and box marked sticking plasters.   He patted Sam’s neck,  drying it with a new cloth.   Sam bent down a little, giving Gabriel the room to help him.

The silence was not awkward, but as Gabriel finished cleaning the wound and pressed down the large plaster with his hands, it struck Sam, just how intimate this moment was.   Gabriel didn’t need to speak, Sam couldn’t find any words, but a silent thankyou passed between them.    This place really was beginning to feel like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things have gotten busy and a little stress inducing. But at least wednesdays finale has sucked the life out of me, like the humanity from Dean.


	14. Chapter 14

Dean quickly pressed his knife and fork together, following Cas’s lead.  The dinner had been lovely, a nice little restaurant with white-linen and slow jazz.   Something Cas would like, Dean had thought, having passed the place earlier in the week.

Dean ordered dessert for them to split, taking a moment to wink across the table before offering to share.  Cas was sensible, Dean thought, Cas would like gesture.  And he was a damn sight less chatty than any girls he had been on dates with.  Stoic was the word – he was an english major after all.

 

“How are your housemates”  Cas asked abruptly, breaking the silence, the  third wheel to the eye sex across the table.  

 “Good I guess.”  Dean said casually,  “We’re looking for another, now that Sam is moving out.”

Cas nodded, it was a little early in the relationship to suggest moving in together – so he asked quickly, “What caused him to move out.  I hope you and your brother are getting along well?”

Dean smiled, folding a napkin in his hands.   “Nothing bad.  He and Jo are getting pretty serious, I guess.  Didn’t think there was anything between those two.  But…”

 “she is an alpha yes?”

“yeah, Cas?” he replied, the confusion spreading amongst his features.

“Dean.  When we sat down I asked if there was any news, surely you see how important that is?”  Cas snapped indignantly.

“It’s Sammy Cas.  He’s not…   He’s…”  Dean huffed.   “It’s not like Jo will be wearing the pants in the relationship.  I mean.  Look at us. I’m an alpha, you’re a beta.  There’s nothing….”

Cas titled his head, eyes still fixed on Dean.  The big idiot. 

Cas waved his hand for Dean to stop, a little dismissively.   It wasn’t that he liked to use the gesture on Dean, play the brutal fucked up power games that A/B relationships fostered.   Not that Dean probably even realised they were being played.  A small nudge of envy crept across Cas’s skin, light as a feather.  Not to see the world like this, not to have status the prime focus of every encounter.  Maybe that was the blessing of the Beta – the chance to be oblivious to it all with no repercussions.  

Cas sighed.  There were always repercussions. 

“Dean.   Your brother just committed to a pack.  To a person.   It’s been less than a month since he found out that that could even happen.  Surely you see there is something wrong here?”

Dean blinked a few times.

“I get that Cas.  They’re pretty serious.”

There was anger now beginning to form on Cas’s face.  “No Dean.  They are..”  he paused, taking a breath, “Does Sam have the mark yet?”

Dean looked a little confused, “I don’t really notice peoples necks Cas.  Alphas have their weird fetishes, but it’s not something I’m generally… into?”

Cas sighed again. 

 

They split the cheque, and started back to Cas’s.    Taking the shortcut through the park.    There were few people out, now that it was starting to get colder.  They stopped at the curb and Dean leaned down to kiss his boyfriend.  They took an extra second, Cas letting the Omega across the street to walk past. Surely they could smell Cas was an alpha.  It was a meaningless gesture, in truth.  But he wanted to show these things to Dean.  Explain in way be might understand. 

By the time they were back at the apartment, coats off and the heating on, they started to kiss with a ferocity, out of the cold and surrounded by intimacy.  Dean’s hands wandering up Cas’s shirt and caressing the warm flesh.   Cas shuddered at the touch of cold hands.  

Cas pulled back from the kiss.

“Hot chocolate?”

Dean smirked and kissed his lips again, “you read my mind”   

Cas smiled, going to the kitchen and grabbing out two mugs, with spoon in hand he called out “while I make these – call your brother! He could use the support Dean.”

 

***  

 

The house fell into a new rhythm, something a little off beat.    He had finished moving in, packing up his stuff and saying a proper goodbye to his former roommates.   His heat was to last almost a week and after the first night with Jo it became somewhat easier. 

Michael, Anna and Sam were watching the news report in the lounge, there was another protest in Washington.  Rights within packs for Omegas, legal protections and whatnot; a snippet piece with aerial shot at the end of the news bulletin, almost daring to condone the cuffed salutes.  

“Sam?”   A gentle voice turned his head, it was Jo, “you ok?”

It was true he had been a little transfixed on the tv.  But that wasn’t what she meant with the soft question.  It was the polite way of asking whether, he needed her to help with the heat.   A question posed to him more than several times in the last two days.  His head was fuzzy, and there had been few headaches and aches and pains.  Anna had gotten the prescription from the chemist, and that was helping.  

He dragged his eyes from the finishing broadcast and stared at her.  He didn’t want this.   Maybe he needed this.   He wasn’t sure anymore.   It seemed wrong to refuse her, she was afterall, just trying to help.   But not understanding, not really.

Anna an Michael were quiet.  They understood of course, but sat back on the couch quietly.  

Sam wondered whether they felt the same.   He had hoped to ask about their thoughts on the protests, but that would have to wait.   He knew he had a choice, but he got up anyway.  It wasn’t so bad.  

Anna shot Sam a look as he got up from the chair, a silent question of whether he was ok.  He was.   He could say no, he knew that.   But it didn’t feel like he should.  

And then the phone rang, giving him a moments breath. 

Jo went to answer it and Sam begin to sit back down on the couch, but Michael stopped him.   Pulling him aside to the hallway, out of earshot. 

It had been three days but it was becoming apparent why Michael was the main Omega of the pack.   Sam could see Jo flick her eyes to watch them leave the room.  A little gesture of concern.     

Michael looked at Sam and then pulled him into a hug. 

“You ok?  You don’t look it.  First heat is rough, but we are here for you.  Especially Jo, and she’s got stamina there is no need feel– ”

 “Michael, I’m fine.   I need sleep that’s all.  If anything, _I_ don’t have the stamina, not with moving in and adjusting and everything.”

Michael’s face contorted into confusion, but then he smiled.   To him, Sam was a little confused.  He wasn’t all there, he wasn’t quite an omega yet.     Sam stared back, looking past the confusion in Michaels eyes.  

He gave up, and went to the next best thing.

“So what are your thoughts on the protests at the moment?” 

A loaded question.   Almost answered, but Jo turned around the corner.  Michael went back to the tv.  

“It was Dean” she laughed, “I said you were well, a little off from heat.   He congratulated me on landing you. That was sweet.”   She smiled, “He’s not wrong you know Sam.  You are –” Jo put her hand on his arm and smiled at him, trying to show him that she cared.  

“Hey Jo, do you mind if we don’t?   I think the worst has passed, but thankyou.”

Jo looked surprised, but she smiled at him, moving her hand back from his arm and letting him go.  He towered over her, but she still somehow had the last say in all this.

“Of course Sam.”   Her eyes held concern, “Just let me know.”

 

He spent the night looking online about the recent developments regarding the protests.   They hadn’t mentioned this properly in the equality alternative meeting, but there were forums and blogs and message-boards.   They all seemed to be Omegas with packs, but there was no way to tell.  The anecdotes of omegas, talking about pro-rights alphas.  Ways they ensure there’s no imbalance in the pack.  These posts with upvotes and likes, on obscure sites with plain text and dull backgrounds, giving him new hope.  Giving him hope like they gave all these people hope, caught inside packs and pawing at the glass.

He had made his bed and he had to lie in it.  Had to lie with Jo.   Before it had seemed huge, he had been told it would be huge, to go through heat.  To be with an alpha. And he understood that his case was unique, but even so it had been so daunting, and now he was trying to stave off regret.    

He took out a notepad from the tidy draw.   Tidy, because he hadn’t been in the room long enough for it to messy, and the past couple of afternoons he had been sitting out the back with Gabriel.  He went to jot down the names of titles he should probably read, turning in surprise to grab a pen when he saw Gabriel standing behind him.

Gabe pulled the lollipop out his mouth and handed Sam a pen. 

“You know, if you wanted to read some – ” He pushed the bedroom door shut, “–underground-fight-fight-the-power literature. I might have something for you”

Sam eyes widened, this seemed unlike Gabriel, but the man did have a large collection of unorthodox books, it wasn’t inconceivable.

 “Yes Sambo, all Omegas go through the whole” his hands spun around, gesturing at Sam, trying to find the word.  “it’s a phase, all I’m saying.  Have fun with it, don’t take it too seriously.  Progress will happen.  No need to get worked up about these things.”  

Sam wanted to protest, but he wasn’t sure how.   For a brief moment, it seemed like Gabriel might be right.   But there was disquiet within him, even though he held his tongue, if only for a moment.  With anyone else, he might have stayed silent.  If it was Jo, or even Michael, he certainly would.   

“I don’t know Gabriel.  I can't see fault in their actions. Surely you know what happens in history if we don’t protest.”

Gabriel sighed.  “I knew there was a reason I liked you.”  He went to get the door, presumably for the book. “ I know you not feeling the best about joining a pack, but if nothing else, I’m glad you joined this one.”

He beamed ear to ear and Sam, popping the lollipop back in his mouth and left the room.

Sam’s phone buzzed.

_/Hey Little Brother –  Cas thinks there’s something up with you.  I told him your fine, but I should back that.  Tell me when you are free and I will meet you at purgatory, assuming you can tear yourself away from Jo//_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is starting to become a monster. urgh. And right near exam time tables. Got to keep the plot on a leash though. Hasn't run away yet. Well. I dont know. Oh god. Main characters not even flirting properly and its like 25k. what is this.


	15. Chapter 15

“Sam…. Sam Winchester?”

The receptionist looked about the room as Sam stood up.   Today was the last day to get paperwork filed for the university and he still had to change his status on record. 

Given the uniqueness of the situation, this had to be done in person.  Most 20 year old Beta’s didn’t file a claim status as an omega.   And in this day and age, it was becoming less common for beta’s to even join packs.  Not paperwork he ever thought he would be touching, but, things happen.    Jo had handled the pack status officially, registering it with the state department.  In the end it only took a one signature from him, and a witness.  Gabriel volunteering of course.    

Inside one of the offices, Sam handed the paperwork to the student liaison officer, and was given in return a forced gestured to sit down.  The little nameplate on the desk read ‘Margaret’, but the curt smile asked you to leave. 

Her scent was crowded with unfortunate perfume, still dominant, tapping her matriarchal fingers lightly on the coffee cup.  He blinked a few times, trying to focus on something other than the mixed fragrance messing with his head.  Gabriel had been right though, now he was claimed, there was nothing compelling about it. 

His eyes refocused and she was staring at him, “Dear would you try and focus?”

“Pardon?”  Sam said, snapping back into the moment. 

The exasperation and discontent solidified into a pitying smile, “I am sorry you’re alpha is making you do this dear, you’re practically still in heat. Do try to contain yourself.”      

Asshole, Sam thought.   Absolute dickbrained Alpha.  

Taking a seat, he handed over paperwork and ID, for her to look through.  Sharp eyes scanning over the page and darting back up to him.    He contained the will to retaliate,  a tight lipped smile,  and a slight nod at her remarks.  “The paperwork itself seems fine – if you could sign here and here, and initial and… oh! such neat handwriting for one of your type...  ”

Being administration, the forms were copious.   Over the summer he generally worked part time in the office or the library and knew the other side of the page when it came to this process.

At the end of the pre-filled out stack, she pulled out another from the filing cabinet, signing the bottom and handing it to him.  She pushed over a pen to his side of the desk, “Fill this out and take it too IT, they will print you a new student card for omegas.” 

Sam began pulling out his chair and thanking her, “fill it out here dear, if you have any questions, might as make sure you don’t have to come back to ask.”  His fists were powerful, but it took great strength to open them and take the form from her. 

She sighed.  Displeasure must have shown through on his face.

 “You know when I started this job, there was none of this ridiculous paperwork.”   He titled his head up from the page, the works meaningless, only the arrogance within them.     “Of course back in those days, Omegas didn’t need to be educated.  But Political correctness being what it is – well you know, I’m sure,” she trailed off, “All done?”

He handed back the form and she skimmed over the page, a kindergarten teacher checking if he could keep his red pencil inside the lines.

She huffed and returned the form and gave him directions to IT.  He had studying here for 3 years, or at least that’s what the paperwork had read.  None of this was worth kicking a fuss over.  It never seemed worth kicking a fuss over, saying anything to back to the sandpaper remarks.  Continually wearing at him, taking larger and larger shards.   Shards he brought himself sweep aside as he thanked her and walked out through reception. 

 

There was nothing on today.  He didn't have anything until Dean tonight.   Most of campus was closed, so he headed over to the main library.  The coffee nook to the side of the entrance hall was open, a think which Sam could always be thankful for.  Sam ordered something black for $2:80.  The barrister nodded sleepily, probably needing a coffee but wanting none.  

“That will be $2:40?” 

Sam’s face must have looked confused at the price reduction, the barrister replied, “Sorry, I thought that was a cuff”

“Oh no, it is,” Sam replied quickly.  It was that 15% off deal that had been going for the past year or so.   It was a nice surprise to get cheaper coffee certainly, but the meaning behind it was unpleasant.  He had assumed this was the omega student union, but it seemed like something the equality alternative would campaign for.  The only ones vocal enough to pluck whoever it was in admin who had progressive heartstrings. 

The bench to the side of the table had stirrers and the generic types of sugar packets.  It was too early to have it straight.  He opened two teaspoons and stirred them in, a little excessive, but it was growing on him.  God knows he needed something sweet in his life.

“A bit too much sugar wouldn't you say Sasquash?”

Sam turned around startled as Gabe took out twice as many sugar packets. 

“Before you say anything.  No, you lovely thismorning sweetcheeks, but I’m not a stalker.  Not yours anyway.”    Sam rolled his eyes, Gabriel continued regardless “There’s a book I’ve been waiting on the 8th century relationship between Norse –   tell you what.  I’ll tell you tonight."  he paused, spooning off the chocolate powder off the top, and lickingt he soon.  "How did your meeting go?”

“Good.  I think.  Admin was a bit of an ass, but things could have been worse.”

“If you didn’t get up at ungodly hours, I might have reminded you to watch out for the paperwork demons down there.”  

Sam smiled, it was sweet of Gabriel to have remembered,  “I’d love to stay and chat, but I was going to head over to my brothers early.  He’s…”

“… Kinda oblivious?” Gabe suggested, "... that meeting at a bar with an underage Omega is no fun?"  

“You could say that.”  

Gabe patted him on the shoulder, and given the height difference, it took some effort. “Be nice Sam, older brothers can be a bitch, but there not there to hurt you.  They don’t mean to, but they do it anyway.”

Sam laughed.  Gabriel always had a way of finding that side.  Or maybe the words he needed to hear. 

 

 

Sam left Gabriel in a fit of excitement.  His passion seeping throughout his body.  It was adorable in the best way.   He took the long walk to his old place, taking the time for a think.  Gabriel always cleared his head, made him feel something that didn’t imbue a sense of anger or disdain for what he was, and what the world thought about that.  Gabriel somehow managed it.  And Gabriel and him were only friends because of this happening, it was a little goodness that made it feel better for those brief and wonderful moments. 

The side door was open and he made it into the kitchen to see Dean opening a beer.

“Little early for drinking Dean.”

“And that is why I won’t be offering you one!”  Dean opened the fridge, handing a can to his brother. “So, trouble in paradise, huh?”

Sam took a moment not to glare at his brother.  The beer was cold in his hand, and the kitchen hadn’t changed in a week.  Of course it hadn’t.  He peered round the corner; there a movie was paused on the tv.    Dean's patience however, wasn't.  

“Are we gonna talk Sam?  Or are you just going to leave and not include me in your life anymore.”  Dean voice was rough, a new anguish set in his eyes, “It was us, just us.   Ever since Dad died.”  He faced away from Sam, his palms flat on the bench-top, “And I don’t know what….  I just don’t know anymore.”

It sat there for a second.  A rare showing of emotional vulnerability from his brother, was enough to silence Sam.   He toyed with answering for a prolonged moment, all the things worth saying, and the things that in fairness needed to.

“I just wanted to come round and say Jo’s pack is heading out to California the day after next over the break.”

Dean looked like he could punch Sam. 

“What do you want me to say Dean?   That I’m sorry?  That we've drifted apart because, what?    It’s been a horrible fucking month, and you've hardly been the supportive brother.”

A sharp edge cut with the laughter Dean first answered with, “So you run of with the first alpha to show you any affection?”  It was an underhanded blow, a back of the fist slap that reverbed back through his own stomach.  “I’m sorry Sam.  I didn’t mean it like that.  You and Jo, I didn't mean it like that.  You’re not like that.  _I get that._   Help me little brother, I don’t know what’s wrong?  If you need to move back in, the room is still upstairs…”

Sam stared at his brother.  He didn't answer this time, instead pulling the fabric of his shirt collar to expose his neck.   The mark had set, flayed skin, still raw with fresh scars.  

Dean’s eyes widened.  Trying to place Sam apart from this, succeeding a little less.  

“Didn’t take you for the kinky type, Sam?”  It was meant as a jest, but it hit home.  In truth it was the only way Dean knew how to react.  “We have some sticking plasters upstairs if you need them?” he offered.  He tried again, “Well, hard pack master it seems.  They do they say you always wind up with those like your parents.” 

Sam hit him.   It was so like Dean.   “I’m serious though, if its –” he pointed at the mark “- getting a little too heavy, feel free to come back here.”

“I’m an Omega dean.  You know I can’t do that.”   

“And why the hell not.   You didn’t marry her, Sam.  Just joined a pack!”

“It’s pretty damn permanent Dean.”  He sighed again.  It wasn't a beta relationship, that would be so much easier.   There was no need for this fighting.    At least his brother wasn't a knotthead.   There was the old joke about what Alpha and Omega brothers got up to; and at the very least Sam was thankful that his life hadn’t devolved into a punchline.  Given the month he was having it damn near felt like it. 

“Fine.   Tell me how to help, little brother.”  He turned his head, gesturing to the tv.  “New Game of thrones out, ending shouldn't be as gruesome as your neck though.  Charlie doesn't promise anything though”

Sam laughed.  It wasn't so bad, and it seemed to be getting better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's almost 1am, perhaps this was not the best time to post. Hopefully I am not loosing track of this thing, why is it so hard to write flirting? WHY?


	16. Chapter 16

Michael and Jo were packing the cars, while the others finished making lunch and snacks for the day.   Gabriel had made various types of slices and cookies, Sam and Anna cutting sandwiches.    Jo put the last of the suitcases into the back of the car and tied shut the back, Michael making sure they had the paperwork. 

The packing itself had been fast, departure had crept up on Sam like everything seemed to these days.  Jumping and redirecting his life, just when he had finally gotten his life and the pace of the house worked out.  

Michaels family owned a caravan park and with some cabins near the beach in California, and they gave Jo a discounted rate, even able to squeeze Sam in last minute during the busy season.  The whole pack was excited, even Gabriel for the trip.  It seemed a little contrary to what he knew about Gabe, Sam almost beginning to look forward to seeing proof, the guy in a swimsuit.   Gabriel had been swearing by the beaches there, going on endlessly about it, the places now all mapped out in Sam’s mind.  

“You’re going to love little track from the shops, in mid evening it’s right into the sun, but the view is better than this little bakeries pie along the strip.   If it didn’t take the better part of 3 days to drive home, I’d say bring back a slice for your brother!” 

At breakfast, it had been Michael most of all, who looked excited.  Anna’s family were traditionalist, they preferred to see their daughter when she was accompanied by Jo.  It was one way to do things, but it didn’t sit right with everyone, but to Sam it had helped explain the meek look within her eyes. Michael’s parents were somewhat less conservative.   His father was an Alpha, but his mother was beta, second in the pack.  An oddity that she should have kids, but it did happen, as Sam found out.   And to have her Omega son be the second of a pack was a point of pride, so she always made sure Jo’s pack could come and stay.   The nudge of favouritism that always occurred around these things.  

When the last of the house was locked up, two pack split amongst the two cars.   Jo and Michael in the smaller car, and Sam, Gabriel and Anna in the other car.    Given the size of the household, the did need two cars, for moments like this.  Most packs had at least two.  Nowdays, it was customary for at least half the omegas to work, unless you had a streak of affluence.  Several Omegas, even more children, did learn itself to needing multiple salaries.  But that had complications, and not everyone was happy with Omegas working.   Things being what they were.

Michael had explained his family to him last night.  A little slowly, Sam in his mind still had to grasp the finer nuance of Omegahood, to whom the whole thing had seemed a little off.  Anna had been sitting by his side and given a little smirk, just out of Michaels eyeline.  

In the car, it came up again. 

“It’s just tradition, if you son or daughter gets into a good pack and gets to be second. You take pride.  It’s not really for an Omega to judge the Alpha of the pack that there child is sent to.  You would, obviously, but I mean –”

“- so you don’t think Jo would let you have a say?” Sam interjected

Anna gave an awkard laugh, “Anna’s hardly a traditionalist, she not…”

Gabriel spoke up “… It is Jo we are talking about.  Omega’s Sammy, they tend to have the most say in respect to kids.  But packs and what’s good in them, that’s more Alphas.  Not always, but it depends.   Besides, Jo would like to finish her degree before she even thinks about kids.   And then one of us would have to be ready and…”

In for a penny, in for a pound. “Well Jo could have kids, she is a woman.”  Sam let it hang there like the question it wasn’t.    Anna looked over at Sam with her mouth hanging open like he had just vehemently defended the current quality of family guy.    Sam couldn’t see Gabriel’s face, but he was probably smiling the pure logical stupidity of the remark.

And was Gabriel who answered, “I see your point Sammy, but that’s not really the done thing, just look around.  There’s, I don’t want to say pecking order, but it’s just not the way it’s done.”

 “Weren’t you friends with kids raised in packs growing up?  Beta couples aren’t exactly the majority. ” Anna snapped back, a little defensively.  

“Our father wasn’t really keen on the whole idea of that.  I think he thought, if we weren’t really raised to understand it, it wouldn’t affect us.  It just sought of seemed, like something I would never have to deal with.   There were packs.  Alphas, Omegas.   Never needed to give it much thought.” Sam sighed, “look how that worked out.”

Gabriel stopped at the lights and turned his head to face Sam in the back “Cheer up, at least that’s still working for your brother!”

Anna rolled her eyes.

“He is getting better.  Yesterday he tried being a big brother, didn’t work as well as he might have liked, but ever since he’s started dating this Alpha boy in his accounting -”

Gabriel interjected, “ -You should see him Anna!  So cute!”

Anna gave Sam another apologetic look, before replying “We both know you, _or I_ , wouldn’t dare hurt Jo like that.   Besides,” she turned to Sam, “you have a photo of your brother on your night stand, I’m sure they make a great pair.”  She was blushing now.

Sam was laughing now, it was so out of place for Anna.  She had the airs and graces of the ideal pack member, but sometimes the façade she knew so well broke down.  Her face went a little more sullen, “Only if it was my last night on Earth.  A girl has dreams you know.”

They put on some music and drove for a while, Sam being glad not to have to listen to classic rock as Dean wasn’t with him.  Gabriel, being Gabriel, had made Sam and Anna choose between odd Celtic chanting and something vaguely gospel.    “He used to be worse, I’m told.   But he only puts those on when Jo’s not the car, something I’m sure you’d get behind.”  Anna said.  

Was she insulting him? Accusing?  Sam wasn’t sure.  They probably disliked sharing with someone who didn’t grasp there subgender’s finer points, or at least, made such liberal remarks.   It was, what it was, he was learning more quickly than he had hoped for.  Anna was still adjusting.  Of course she was, perhaps not quite the same as when the others had joined the pack. The others were coming to accept him as their equals, and Jo accepted him certainly.  But most of all Gabriel accepted him, and that seemed to mean the most out of all.    

The highways drifted past, endless fields and some towns and larger city.  Sam had always liked road trips when they were kids.  Driving with his brother in the seat of the impala was a favourite certainly, but it had been a long time since they had had need to.    

Mid afternoon, Jo pulled the front car onto a side ramp to a picnic spot, and Gabriel followed behind with the other car, parking beside.  Opening the car door, Jo walked around and gave each of them a quick peck on the lips.  

It was a quiet afternoon, the warmth in the air more appreciated when standing.  Just as the old wooden picnic tables and toilet block were a welcome sight.    Michael went round to fill up his waterbottle from the little tap under the signage, knowing this place well.  The others getting out the cooler and basket, the lunch preparations almost rehearsed as Anna set down the plastic plates.  Sam made a note, trying not to feel anything needless as he tried to be helpful.  

 

After lunch, Gabriel went to rinse of the utensils, Sam helping him dry.  They finished quicky, Sam’s help a welcome addition.   Once it was over, Gabriel went to the car and pulled out two books from his day bag.   

“I’m sorry it took a while to find them.  Threw them in my bag last night and didn't get an opportunity this morning.   My shelves aren't exactly organised, anyway, Anna drives after lunch and I like to nap.   But I thought you might like them as a bit of reading.”

Sam turned the first one over in his hands, a thin little book with a plain cover, by ‘Valentino Woolves’ 

“Is that a pen name?” he asked.  

“Probably, it was written about 10 years ago, it’s not exactly current.  Vocal, and very passionate.  Perfect for you” 

The other was a little tattered, the spine falling apart and the pages curling.    There was nothing on the cover.  

“It’s a history of Omegas.  A proper history.  Well, as proper as you can get with evidence less plentiful than salt on a  demons chips.   I think you will enjoy it, right up your alley at the moment.”

Sam bent down and gave him a hug, lingering an extra second to properly thank Gabriel.  They pulled back and Gabe looked down at the grass, avoiding Sam’s eyes, before pulling another smile onto his face. 

“It helped me, back when I joined a pack.  I was younger than you now, but it helped.   You get past it.  Don’t….”  He took a breath, “worry.  Life happens, there’s no need to stress.”  He looked out over the national parkland that lay beyond the parkland, “Good things happen in the moment.  Not in the overall.”

 Sam was quiet for a moment.   Gabriel closed the car door and locked it again.  

“How did you do it, joining a pack so young?”

Gabriel met his eyes, warmth within them was swept away like a cool breeze.  “It’s hard for everyone Sam.  You are doing well –”

He was cut off but Jo calling them back to the main spot.  His smile returning immediately, when they greeted the others.  They needed to decide if anyone was swapping cars.   Anna going with Jo for the afternoon, and Michael driving with Gabe and Sam.  

Packing up took even less time, Sam better placed to help now.  They were on the road soon enough.   Sam spent the afternoon reading, Gabriel snoring in the font passenger’s seat.  Michael wasn’t chatty after lunch, focussing on the road and keeping the two cars closeby.   The scenery passed by unnoticed, blurring behind them in a continuous haze, until the sun sank down and the haze was fully darkened.  

 

They pulled into a motel, in a small town.   The rooms were clean enough, a queen adjoining four singles.  Not room Sam had ever booked before, but they existed for this very reason. 

Gabriel was happy to keep sleeping, and so were the other drivers.   They all crashed once the necessary things were brought in, all a little more than a little sleepy.  Sam crept into the corner and finished the last of Woolves book, a little dingy lamp enough light not to wake Gabriel and Anna.  Tomorrow he would be driving first, he needed to know how the winding argument concluded.  Law student and all. 

By the time he finally fell onto one of the singles, Michael and Jo taking the Queen in the other room, he was trying not to justify the feeling that the decision to join Jo’s pack had been rushed into.   It seemed to grow less certain in his mind, for all he was enjoying the day’s little moments.  The worst part being, Jo wasn't even there for most of them.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams are coming up so this might be the last bit for a few weeks. Depends how deep I fall into procrastination. Also, Anna is a great character, and I hope her character is not kind of destroyed. I suppose you take away her sense of authority and you get this weird kinda.... I dont know. But in fairness, SPN has done a lot worse to its female characters. And queerbaiting. and. its 3am. not a rant to be having now. hope you enjoy.


	17. Chapter 17

 

They had spent the last two nights at Cas’s apartment.  Wrapped up in each others arms and surrounded by blankets.   Warming their toes and fingers, and slowly boiling together until the heart was soft and saturated.  It was easy, and sweet and involved the best kind of long night time kisses.    

Dean had said farewell to his brother, a little jealous that he wasn’t going to California, but Cas made up for it easily.  And when he wasn’t with Cas over the break, there was a new kind of mock sword the enactment club was going to try out.  Always something to do.   It was nice to be out of the house, which was now a little too empty without his brother.   But he could pretend he was simply away, and that there wasn’t a spear bed in his old room.     

 On the third sleep over in a row, they had made dinner together.  Dancing around each other in the kitchen.   Soup and fresh bread and Dean’s homemade hamburgers.  They were so full.  Lying on their backs on the couch regretting the food and laughing at adds on TV.   Everything perfect.   The illusion of perfect so real that it seemed like at any moment it could crack into a thousand shards ready to pierce his heart.   Even when he looked, there was nothing.  Not a single chip, or minor fracture.   Absolutely nothing.   It was smooth, just as Cas’s skin in the morning, the glide of his tongue at night.    As long as it wasn’t soft like wool being thrown over his eyes, Dean could rest easy.  

Staying his Cas was nice, certainly.   But the apartment was small, and when Dean’s roommates were out they stayed with him.   There were certain advantages to Dean’s headboard. 

After work, Cas would knock on Deans door and kiss him on the doorstep.   Throwing his hands out unceremoniously and uncharacteristically, simply to embarrass him on the off-change his roommates would see.   The stayed that way until the neighbours might notice as well.   Spending the evening in Dean’s room playing cards and lazily chatting and enjoying the break.  

“I’d like –” Dean began one night.

“Dean, I’m all for trying new things.  But only if you are ready.”

“Well it’s just, why don’t we try.  I mean.”  His face was going red.  He took in a breath and tried again, “You’re an Alpha Cas, why don’t we try knotting?”

Cas tilted his head to the side, his mouth gently opening with surprize, “that is not something I imagined you would suggest Dean….”  He paused, his gaze intent trying to piece apart Dean’s mind, the confusion working on his face.  “Before you did not seem to like the idea, but I do not know why your feelings would have changed.”  Phrased as a question Dean stared back, his hand lightly rubbing Cas’s forearm.  He didn’t give an answer.   

Dean pulled back his arm and kept his eyes focused. 

“Do I need to shove my cock in your mouth, or are you going to take what is offered up Cas.”  He leaned in and kissed Cas before there was a chance to answer.   “Seriously.  Its. A fucking. Yes.”  Starting to grasp at his clothes. “ I. want you.  Oh God.  I want you.”

Dean kissed at Cas’s mouth with great force, his hands continuing to move across his back. Cas kissed back somewhat more gently, still trying to match Dean’s fervency. 

There was no hesitancy in their actions, grabbing and pulling at each other’s clothes.   Dean grabbing at Cas’s underwear, both with pants around there ankles and shirts somewhere over the arms.   Hands grabbing and mouths finding skin.  Dean pushed Cas onto his back on the bed.   

Cas tore the glint from his eyes, rolling him onto his back and straddling his hips. “I’ve been imaging having you like this.   Bedding you like this whenever I wanted.  Knotting you, like I know you’d like, my good little Beta.   Mine.”

Dean looked up, his face falling a little.  “hey Cas?  How about we try the dirty talk next time.  I appreciate the effort, but uh….”

Cas kissed Dean on the cheek in apology.    And then his mouth, with gentle effort.   Dean closed his eyes and joined the kiss.  If he was going to do this, it made sense to give Cas the lead.  

It was taken with gusto, Cas beginning to stroke along the side of Dean’s cock with a light touch.   Dean felt his jaw clench, Cas teasing him.  His hand wrapped around Dean's shaft and began to stroke, assuring Dean he wasn’t going to keep him on edge.   Deans eyes eyes still closed when he felt what could only be a tongue down the side. 

“Cas” Dean breathed.

He replied by placing his lips on the head and sucking lightly.

“Cas!”  he gasped again.

Cas’s mouth had experience, as far as Dean could tell.   His fingers working to find Dean’s sensitive places, and one to prod the prostate, all in good taste. 

His mouth taking in Dean and using his tongue almost too sparingly, keeping Dean on the edge.  Just above to slow and before too fast.  Laving down the shaft as he sucked and breathed lightly.   Trying to find the perfect pace for his lover.  

Cas paused to suck on the tip, his tongue around the edge and then down the base.   Keeping Dean with clenched teeth as built up a pace just right.  Fingers matching his bobbing head.   More and more it seemed were in his mouth.  More tongue, more touch.  More. 

Dean came.  Cas pulled his head up, and crawled up the sheets to hug Dean.  His body warm and flushed, panting heavily.   He pulled up the covers over their legs and got into bed. 

“Everything ok Cas?  That doesn't have to be the end, I can roll over”

“Its fine Dean.  It didn't seem right to shove your cock in my mouth, so I did it for you”

Dean blinked, and then laughed.   “Are you sure, you still need to take care of yourself.” 

Cas pulled up the blankets a little further.  “I am just a little tired Dean.  If you are happy, I am happy.”

It felt perfect, it felt right.  He tried to hold onto the blissful feeling as he went to sleep. 

 

***

 

 

“Why so tired Gabriel?”   Jo said again as Gabriel’s mouth stretched open into another yawn.  Gabriel slapped the back of the seat, “Sammy here was up late reading.” 

They’d been in the main car for about an hour or so, the sun now barely over the horizon.  It was Sam’s turn to drive, and Gabriel had jumped in the backseat just as they were leaving.  

Jo looked over as Sam kept his eyes on the road, “He’s always the one to have the readings done in tutorials, and you guys know how that keeps me up late.  Hopefully something more interesting than minor constitutional amendments or civil pack cases?”

Sam laughed, they had laughed about these things before.  Now his hands gripped tighter on the steering wheel, not sure how to answer. 

Gabriel answered for him, “I lent Sammy my copy of one of my old history textbooks.”

It wasn't technically a lie, Sam thought, but it didn't seem worth elaborating on a half-truth, “yeah, I was thinking of doing something in the arts faculty as an elective.  Gabriel makes a pretty convincing case.”

Gabriel was silent as Jo nodded.   Perhaps Gabriel hadn’t intended for Sam to lie, but it wasn't so far from the truth.    Why he felt the need to lie was another matter.  Why Gabriel gave him the opportunity.  Why he felt he couldn't trust Jo with the simple fact of reading a book.

It was all so fucked up. 

“I would have thought you’d be scared away from arts” Jo began again, “I wouldn't stop you Sam, it’s just I figured with your brother.  Essays structured around laws are one thing but….”

They both nodded along, Sam’s eyes melting onto the road.  Bitterness was welling up in his mouth and making him hold his tongue.   He clutched more tightly onto the fading tendrils of the thought that this wasn't a mistake.   For all his regrets – what else could he do? What else could he have done? 

It was all locked into place, but fear and panic swirling into one vortex that consumed his and now he had to sit in the car and regret a moment and an answer.  And maybe the question.  It wasn't like he could go back and apologise.  That wouldn't fix it.  You don’t just opt out of the these things.  Tick a box and go back to his old life.    

 

 Jo took the wheel after lunch.   Sam opened the door, and called Gabriel over. “Come on –  else I’ll pick the music!”  

Gabriel laughed but continued putting the bags in the other car.   

“Actually Sam”  Jo said looking over, “I was wondering if we could chat?”

A chill began to run down his back, he pulled it back his a smile and a deep breath.   They were making excellent time, Michael usually with Jo when they arrived at the park.   If Gabriel in the other car wasn't enough.

For a chat, it was quiet for a good half an hour.   Sam picked the radio station, and then Jo gave him a look before handing him the B side of Zeppelin IV.  The look was handed right back to her as he put the cassette in the sound system.  The car wasn't exactly new, most the pack being students.   Still, with the window down and her blonde hair out, classic rock playing, it was like the girl from high school. 

She was beautiful then, just as she was before him now.  But in a different way.  A way that took his mind through backstreets to dead ends.  This was exactly what 16 year old Sam might have wanted.  He couldn't remember anymore.  But they had always been friends, he had always wanted that.   He hoped that he - they - still had that, and the very, very least.  

He must have been staring at her.   

“You ok Sammy?” 

He tensed, “Sam.  I prefer Sam.  Sammy’s a kid and my brother has the rights to that nickname.”

She nodded, turning off the music.   Her expression was dancing on the tip of her tongue.  Her mouth opened to say something.  Sam held his hands in his lap.  She closed her mouth again. Rolling up the window, the noise of the wind rushing drained away, like his peace of mind.

“Sammy?”

He clenched his teeth.  “Yes Jo.”

Her eyes flicked over with a look of apology before turning back to the road. “Sorry _Sam_.  Anyway.   How are you finding the pack?  Honest opinion.”  Her voice was gentle, like the question. 

There were many ways to answer that question.  He looked over at her, hands firmly on the steering wheel, back straight.   She was holding her face in a half smile, focusing on the road but still somehow still watching him, waiting for an answer.   

“I don’t know what to tell you Jo.”  She was still his friend, and for everything that felt distorted about this, that fact lingered.  “Everyone’s lovely.   They’ve been great.  I’m still getting used to all this.”  His voice was a little curt. 

She raised her eyebrows, “you’ve been off colour all afternoon.  Worse that when you were in heat.  Is this because Gabriel left? You two are getting close.   It’s nice.  But Sam,” she paused, letting out a sigh, “that wasn’t a real answer.  I’ve gotten that answer three times.  I’m not going to stop asking.  What’s up?”

Sam’s mind flicked to the books in the back seat, the only this that could physically betray him.  Not betray, not really.  It’s a book.   He read a book.  He just read a book, and now guilt was swimming with everything else he was feeling at the moment.  Maybe that’s where the stereotype of the overemotional gushy Omega came from.     

“Jo.  Everyone has been great.”  He took a breath. “Really.   Did you expect that I would just join your pack and nothing would change?”

That got a laugh in response.  “Of course not Sam.  You’ve taken it better than Anna at least, that was a little bit of culture shock for her though.  Gabriel had your dejected streak though, although he enjoyed the heats more than you.” She said with a quick smirk, “But Michael and I dated a little before he joined the pack.    It’s different for everyone.”

Sam took it with a nod.  It made sense.   Anna was slightly different, now she was 19, but had been a member of the pack for 4 years already.  They had been set up by family friends, Anna’s parents were from a southern state, the specifics slipping her for the moment.  Those original questions about how affection worked in this whole thing were getting tired.  It didn’t seem worth asking.  

The salt became more distinct in the air as they drove forward.  Visors were down now, sun beating through the windows as they sped along the main roads.  The only difference from the previous stop offs, the signage pointing in the direction of the path of the car was travelling and reading ‘beach’. 

“I tell you this partly because Anna wont,” Jo continued.  “She’s real personal, but also partly because you are not the only one not to immediately fit into this whole thing, coming from a slightly different background.   If you think the customs around packs are strict here, you should see how they view the rebellious Omega down there.” 

The afternoon was spreading thin, the sun still high enough to warm the air but too late for lunch.   There was slight traffic, but Sam could still spot the other car in the side mirror. 

Her voice went quiet, playful advice losing its vigour, “Think of how I feel Sam.”

If she hadn’t have been so serious, Sam would have laughed.   That, and he felt a measure of fear, more than respect.   But his face betrayed him, and she saw for a moment.  Anger flickering into her eyes, the authority promised now rising.

 “Sam, you don’t think I feel cheated in this deal?   You got to be friends with your Alpha beforehand.  Most Omegas barely meet them beforehand.    And times have fucking changed, you have it easy compared to 50, 100 years ago.  Even Anna!  Once, I met her once! Look, life is tough Sammy.  It’s a bitch.  But you’re a bitch so suck it the fuck up.  Things could be a hell of a lot worse, and they would be if you didn’t have a pack.”  Jo exhaled sharply,  “You understand that don’t you?  Not just biology, that mark keeps you from being seen as some. Some.”    

Jo took a breath. 

“Sam.  I’m sorry.”  She took another breath, nails clenching around the steering wheel.    “I shouldn’t have snapped.  But it’s true.  Count your blessings.”  She wanted to seem pleasant; it didn’t come across that way.  “Look, it takes time.  And anything I can do to make it easier, let me know.  I care for you, you have to know that.”

“I know that Jo.”

There was silence for another block, Sam unsure of how to respond.  

Jo eventually spoke.  “I hope you care for me too.”    It was inflected as a statement.  Sam gave a solemn nod, but it didn’t feel right to answer. 

 

The final part of the drive was along the beach, sandy soil spread across the road, the sun setting across the ocean.    The car followed the edge of the park, before turning into the entrance nearest the cabins.   The lights were now on, streaming out from behind the curtains from the entrance block and owners house, from the lamps that lit the place, and from the cabins along the little streets. 

It felt like it had gotten dark in a flash, suddenly falling on them.   Jo pushed in a passcode and drove down the main street in the park, making a few tight corners before pulling up against a fence.  The other car right behind.  

The rooms were open, everything organised beforehand.   Between the 5 of them, the cars were unpacked quickly.    Inside the cabin was a main room and kitchenette, with a window looking out through some trees to the ocean.  At this hour, the glass was a darkened mirror, but in the morning, Sam made a note to enjoy it.    Going off the main room was a bathroom and three bedrooms. 

When the cars were locked and everyone was inside, Michael checking the order-in pamphlets for the area.    Anna took Sam to the side and explained that they usually had a 4 person cabin, now with Sam they had been moved.   Gabriel had started to unpack a box of dry foods in the little kitchen, moving over a little stool to reach. 

Michael called his family and let them know they had arrived in the park, telling them everyone would walk over in the morning.   Sam started to move some of the more obvious bags into the main bedroom, which seemed to automatically be Michael and Jo.

“Bunking with me, aren’t you Sam?”  Gabriel called out.

Jo stopped a moment.  “Anna called dibs on the double, but you two can have the queen.”  

“Fine by me, Sammy” Gabriel retorted with a wink.  

His mind was like a wet cloth, by the time they had eaten dinner and were turning off the lights, he wanted to collapse.   Gabriel made everyone tea before they went to bed, putting an extra spoon in both his and Sam’s, taking it back to their room and shutting the door behind them. “Don’t take the sharing a beg thing personally.  Trying to move any furniture in this place is a complaint, and Anna kicks.”

“Better than Jo at least, her feet are freezing.”  Sam replied.  

Gabriel snorted.  “At least you get to be the big spoon”

He stood up from the bed and put his cup on the bedside table.  On the side of his suitcase, he took out a thin box of assorted sweets.

“Really Gabe, you need to bring those halfway across the country”

Gabriel pulled a fake offened look and opened the lid of his well-stocked stash.  He held it out to Sam.  “I don’t offer it to just anybody, and you just insulted my life choices so consider yourself blessed!”

They slept well that night, Gabriel being the big spoon for once.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. Exams are done. And, again, why is writing smut so hard. Not even like proper smut. I cant even get my fiction to a decent third base. ugh. I am finally feeling better about this whole thing, although Jo is really becoming a bitch. Maybe a little too much. Unfortunately, its 3am and I need to sleep. Anyways, I hope you enjoy.


	18. Finally

Sam woke with his legs trapped under Gabe’s.   The bed was still warm, but he was able to pry his legs out without waking Gabriel.  The place where the flesh had touched warm against the cold morning.    Gabriel looked so peaceful beside him, Sam couldn’t help but notice the way he sprawled himself out, and the unfair share of the blankets.      

But it was morning, and he went for a run along the edge of the beach.  The cool air crisp to the skin and the sound of the ocean warm to the ear.   It had become almost habit in the morning nowdays, a moments peace from everything he felt.  Inner turmoil calmed by the movement , a quiet escape for the mind.  Along the beach path it was an escape for his body.  The pumping of his heart and the view the only thing to keep his mind going.  But then his watch would beep and the realisation that he needed to turn back hit him like an ocean gust.  And on this day it did, the wind chaffing at his skin, but the realisation chaffing at his mind.   

He went into the park through the back entrance near the beach and walked along the long balcony that connected all the cabins.   The ocean view through a chain wire fence and some trees, but still there.    

It took a second to quietly wiggle the old lock.   Inside he splashed his face and began to contemplate breakfast.   He placed a mug of hot chocolate next to Gabriel before sitting down with a cup of herbal tea and an apple for himself before they needed to leave for breakfast.  The little coffee table in the middle of the room surrounded by some long ago faded armchairs, the plush gone like an over-hugged teddy bear.   It was comfy enough. 

Sam’s phone buzzed in his pocket, he took it out to see Charlie’s name.

“Charlie?” he said softly, as to not wake the others. 

“Morning Sam.   Sorry to call you this early, but I have to go to work.”

“Everything ok?”

“Nothing the matter; with me at least.   Your brother and Cas have fallen off the planet together, and you too, if we are being honest about it.”

“Funny.”  He replied with a sour tone.    

“Sorry Sam.   I know, I missed the nerve and went straight for the artery.”  The apology clear in her voice.  “Airvent on the Millennium Falcon Charlie, always the solution” she muttered to herself.  “Sorry Sam, I just wanted to call and tell you, before I lose the note, that I heard through one of the Equality Alternative bunch that’s there’s a big rally down there.  Sounded like something you might be into between getting sunburnt.” 

Sam took a moment to process.   More than a moment, it seemed.  

“Sam?  You can –” her other hand flailing about on the end of the line “-say things.  Look Gabe is worried about you.   It’s a bit hard to get in the middle of this and I know.  Jo’s a bit of a stick in the mud sometimes.  But she tries very hard to care.   Talk to them.  Please?”

“I will try Charlie.   Oh.  And, um.”  His voice went to a hush, “Could you text me the details for the thing?”

“the thing?” she replied, “Sam, if you’re worried about just saying the words, something is seriously wrong.   So please, sort this out.   There’s only so much I can say to another Alpha about her pack.   It really doesn’t need to go that far.”

“Charlie.  You’re going to be late for work” Sam conceded

“Think about it, at the very least.  Please.”

“I will. Thank.”

He clicked off the phone and looked up to see Michael standing in the room.  Between the dressing gown and the spiked up bed hair his face was pulled into a docile smile.   Jo wasn’t up yet, and some petite snores could be heard from Anna’s room.  Michael moved the bag on the nearest char and sat down.  

“You don’t need to keep up the physique for her sake you know” Michael said with a hush.  Sam sighed.  At first he might have protested, but now it was getting tiresome.     

It took another 20 minutes, and the rest of the pack was read to walk over.     On this one occasion, Jo was second in step.   Michael leading the group for his familiarity with the area, walking along the side of the park facing the sea.   The route through the middle of the park was shorter, but it seemed a shame to waste the view.    Lots of people were already up, geering up for a beach holiday.   20 something’s in bikinis ready to take the best spot on the beach, older Beta couples enjoying the morning sun, as well as the standard young kids and their parents.  The accompanying adults now looked less like uncles and aunts and more like pack mates.  Sam looked at their little group, heading in the opposite direction from the beach, and wondered which category they fitted into.   

According to Michael, they always had breakfast on the first morning with his family. Gabriel had pulled a face at this, and Michael raised his eyes.  Despite the sleep in Anna’s eyes, she did chuckle.  

Gabriel hung back with Sam, “It’s not that bad.   But don’t bring up that you were a beta.  Michaels Dad will love that.   Oh, and a heads up Sambo – his mother is a Beta.”

“Does that make a difference?”

“No, but I thought you might be interested.”  

 

The main block was a large two story building, with a little shop and seating area overlooking some parkland next to the beach.     They walked up the ramp, next to the little staff car park, and into the little reception room to register. 

A polite “Excuse me,” followed by a “can I help you”   was heard by the stern Omega receptionist as Jo attempted the door to the main house through the back.

“You must be new.  We are here to visit the owners.”   Jo stated.  Her voice was heavy with dominance, the offence of being restricted by someone lesser than herself bringing out the side she denied in herself.   

The Omega at the desk turned his head down and said they would have to wait for them, it was against policy to let anyone through the back and he was just doing his job.   Jo took a breath and conceded, her crabbiness coming out in the morning.   Michael tried to stroke her arm, but she shrugged him off with a roll of her shoulders.  It still seemed so odd and inappropriate a gesture even though this had previously been Michaels home.  

Sam gave Gabriel the face this time.  He tried to convey amusement, and Gabe held back a laugh, for the sake of Jo’s short tether.  

They started to flick through some of the gossip magazines.  ‘the hottest way to appease your alpha’, ‘packs of Hollywood: how even the famous Omegas stay in line!’  and ‘dieting tips to keep their interest during your heat!’.    On the cover were two half naked Omega’s, clutching at each other, dead eyes facing the reader with a chain going between both their cuff’s.   It was supposed to be sexual, shock selling value of something still taboo.  It was something for porn, something kinky, but sometimes they liked to show scandal.     

 “It’s disgusting that’s what it is.” 

Sam snapped his head up from the cover.  Michael said again, “I mean, the omegas.  Alpha and Omega, it’s not exactly a hard concept to grasp.    Basic Biology is – ”

Jo gave him a look.  “- It’s a little shock value.  It’s not hurting anyone.  It’s not polite conversation either.”  

She gave a sigh, and Michael didn’t reply.  

 

Eventually Michael’s little brother come through to give the all clear that these were relations and not patrons.   He had the gait of an Alpha, albeit a sleepy one.  He gave a look to the receptionist, his face hard.  But it wasn’t aggressive, it was hard to tell and Sam wasn’t sure.  The body language still something he was learning to observe properly.  Something that he needed more and more to emulate with ease.  

 They were led through into the back and down some stairs, into lounge and dining room of the house.   A shortish guy was in the kitchen, cooking bacon and eggs.   The top of his head the only thing visible from behind the kitchen bench.     The room looked over balcony, an oblique view of the ocean, but still there. 

His brother called out and an older woman, a Beta came through from the hallway, embracing Michael, her hands wrapping around his back and squeezing warmly.   It must have been a while, he thought.      

This only glimpsed for a moment through the corner of his eyes, Michaels brother extending a hand.  “I’m Ben, you must be Sam.  I heard you used to be a beta?”

Sam held back any signs of panic.   He was at a loss to reply, apart from nodding, and then extending his hand and instinctively tilting his head and offering his neck. The angle was jarring, but despite his height, there were manners and this wasn’t his home.  

“You really must be new to the pack” Ben said with a slight chuckle.  Sam’s stomach clenching, appeal of the smell of frying bacon draining away.   The mark, like the smell of breakfast, still fresh enough to smell on him, a newly taken Omega.  “I’m Michaels brother.   Half technically.”  

“Ben don’t be rude!” said the Beta, the tone only befitting a mother.  She couldn’t be though, if she was Michael’s.  Her features lovely features for her age.  Her grip was firm, and her movements a stark contrast to Jo’s.   Maternal.

“I’m Lisa, Michael has told us much about you Sam.”  He took her hand but didn’t tilt his neck.  Both her hands clasped his, the other moving the cuff gently.  “Seems like you’ve adjusted really well.   Must have been a shocking change.”

Their hands fell apart.   “It has been difficult,” he began, a little unsure. “I think it would have been easier if I were an Alpha.”    

The background noise fell from the room.  The moment stretching out as silence welted into the spaces and stared at him.   It was a stupid thing to say.  It slipped out.  It meant nothing, but despite his height, he felt small than any Omega, as he should be.

“Gives us all something to work towards,” A voice was heard from the kitchen, “No one feeling like that.  Being an Omega isn’t all bad – I’m told.”     He walked over to the counter and put the fried eggs on a tray.  He was smiling, his eyes looking to Sam and then to Jo.  

The air spread back into his body, and the moment passed.   A wave on the beach, and tide went out again.    He hoped Jo hadn’t picked up the quip.  She must have.  Worry for those things a constant swell that never seemed to calm.   That worry subsided into nothing when the alpha who had been in the kitchen came over. 

“I’m Chuck, Michael’s dad.”   His hand was firm, but his frame small, the submissive gesture lost in a quick handshake before he too gave Michael a hug.  The height difference a little ridiculous, but greeting everyone again before everyone sitting down to eat.  

His scent was dim in comparison to the rest of the Alphas in the room.  Jo’s and Ben’s distinct in their own right.   One was familiar, the other faint.  But Chuck seemed older, less precise.  Once the scent of all the Omegas and Alpha’s in the room would have been overpowering, but now he could tell which were which without glancing.  Mixed among this was the unremarkable scent of beta.  It didn’t stand out, it didn’t need to.   He could tell which were his pack, the tinge of Jo marking them all.   An involuntary action to stand near them.  

When they sat down to breakfast he met the other two Omega’s, Raphael and Naomi.  Michael sitting next to Jo, just as Lisa next to Chuck.  The odd mix of formal and polite together as they made smalltalk. Conversation waning between studying and business, from what Sam could tell the park was going well, although this season there was a slight dip.   Sam found himself glancing out the window, the calmness of the day throwing his mind out.  Thankfully, no one brought up him again. 

Michael’s family – Michaels pack – seemed different in a way he couldn’t quite grasp, it might be the children almost all grown up, or maybe their age.  Lisa leaning over to give Chuck a kiss in thankyou for making breakfast.   He took another piece of toast, and tried to keep his eyes on the table.  It was hard to focus on the conversation. 

His snapped back to the table, head jerking back into place when he felt Gabriel’s hand against his thigh.

“You ok?”  he asked discretely.  Everyone seemed too engrossed in discussing some of the new political developments to notice.  

“Yes.  Fine.  Of course.”  Sam replied under his breath. Gabriel gave him a look, and pressed his hand on top of Sam’s leg.  It was supposed to be comforting; at least that’s what Sam thought.    He smiled thankyou and, and looked up to see Naomi looking over, her face neutral.   Sam took a sip of water, again to calm himself. 

They finished breakfast and helped with the dishes.   Everyone having some coffee on the balcony before Jo’s pack headed back to the cabin.    

 

 

 

***

 

The next morning, Sam nudged Gabriel awake. 

“Come for a run with me.”  He said, his hands moving through Gabe’s hair.  The reply a whack with a pillow.   

He had made it 3 steps out the door before he heard Gabriel running after him.    He tapped Sam on the shoulder and Sam pushed forward, using his stride to give himself a head start.   By the time he made it to the entrance of the park he stopped, turning around and looking at the puffing Gabe. 

“You should come out more often.”

Gabriel stopped and grabbed his knees.    Taking a few deep breaths for taking a drink of water.  “Ok, that’s 300 feet.   Let’s go back.”

Sam laughed, “fine.  Do the whole lap with me and we can stop at the bakery you love.”

Gabriel stood up straight and took another breath.  “sounds good Sambo.”  He reached up and bopped Sam on the noise before sprinting off.  

They jogged down the beach, Gabriel breathing hard and Sam keeping a slow pace.  Eventually turning down a line of trees into the shade, the sun now warm enough to need a hat.  The path leading to the little line of shops.   Sam gave a groan, but followed as Gabe, who bought them both a flourless muffin.

“It’s less sugar Sam.  It’s good for you!”

He gave the obligatory eye roll, but still accepted the pastry.   It wasn’t until they were finally heading back that Sam decided to bring up his conversation with Charlie. 

“Did you say something to Charlie?”  Sam asked when they was finally a lull in the conversation.  

Gabe looked down again the pavement, “This is getting out of hand Sam.  And it’s not just joining the pack, or biology or a heat.”

“What has?”

Gabe looked up at him, face filled with worry, “Even for an Omega, you…   You were never submissive.  Not like this.”   

Sam tried to process that, but he was at a loss.   Instead he tried a different approach.

“There is a protest going on about an hour away.   We could catch the bus after the beach, and be back before Jo finds out.”

 

 

They spent the afternoon at the beach.   The rumour was true, Gabriel could be seen in a bathing suit and Sam took the opportunity to playfully tease him.  Truth be told, Sam was impressed Gabe could keep his figure.  He must have the metabolism of a demigod, and his skin the sun looked radiant, like an angel.   

“Hey! That’s Archangel Sammy!”  He said, pulling the towel around his head like a halo.  His hips in a rather exaggerated attempt to pose.   Sam just laughed at him.  

“You know you love it” Gabe said blowing a kiss back at Sam, still on his beach towel.    They spent the first half of the morning like this, relaxing with the others.   Mainly sunbathing, preferring to swim in the afternoon, and Anna didn’t want to get her cuff wet so early in the day.       

 

When it was time to go, Sam feigned a stomach ache.   They waved goodbye to everyone.  Calling out to Jo and Anna's pony tails in the sand.    Only Michael would have been able to see them, but his eyes closed behind shades.   Once the thick shrubs concealed the pair Jo sat up. 

"Want to go for a dip?" she asked the remaining pack.

"But it's so warm in the sand" Anna complained, her voice muffled by the towel.  She tilted her head up, nestling herself more into the beach’s sand.  Jo took out the bottle of sunscreen and began to rub some on Anna's back. 

Anna gave a half-hearted protest, giving into the impromptu back massage.   Jo’s hands moved up her back.  "You have lovely skin, I can't help it."

Anna yawned and stood up, she propped herself up in Gabriel's deserted beach chair.     

Michael picked up the packet of jelly snakes, "You think Gabriel would have left without finishing these?"

“Only if Sam had asked him not too,” Anna joked.  “Do you think they are heading back to the room?”

Michael looked at Jo with a flash of worry in his eyes.   “Gabriel has more sugar in the room guys,” Jo said, “let’s not get suspicious.”

 

***

 

Heart pounding out of his ribcage.  Mind Spinning with the momentary bliss of doing something that was so damn liberating. 

The tight feeling that had sat on his chest, something of guilt and fear fell away to nothing for a moment.  A new feeling pulsating back with a tiny flutter of rebellion.  Clutching the bus tickets in his hand seemed worse than holding a book.  They were proof, concrete proof.    Sick of sitting around like the pack bitch.  Latest member in a growing harem.    Gabriel didn’t have the same excitement on his face.    But Sam held enough glee for both of them.    

 

It was a bit of a walk once they got off the bus and the day was moving to overcast.   They were quiet for most the walk, trying to find their way.   When they finally started down a quieter street, Gabriel looked over at Sam and took his hands from his pocket.

“To be honest Sam, I should have hoped you would stay free.  And I knew you were confused, and I.  My God Sammy, you weren’t stuck.   You could have escaped all these confines.  Still a beta.”

Sam pulled Gabriel a little closer, head still on his shoulder. “I was never a beta, -”

“ – I still should have said something.  But I was selfish, and I guess I hoped…   I love that I get to see you everyday, from your bedhair to the breakfast in the morning.  But you deserve more than this.   Jo’s great.  I love Jo, but you don’t deserve this.  This isn’t you.  This shouldn’t be you.”

Sam head was spinning.  The rush of going to the protest and breaking the rules still clouding his head, the excitement of it all pushed back in his mind as Gabriel tried to confess an apology.  It didn’t make sense for him to feel that way.  People didn’t feel like that.  It didn’t make sense in a way that nothing about this had ever made sense. 

“Gabriel, surely you feel the same about yourself.  Why come and march and protest if you think this is meaningless.    You’re not stuck.  I’m not stuck .  This is both of us, this is… Have you honestly resigned yourself to just being in a pack.  Is this the best you can hope for your life?”

 “Sam.  You have to.  And I let you.   If you were an Alpha, if things had gone the other way do you know how easier it would have been.”

“We wouldn’t have been friends that way.  Do you really think Jo would have been ok with that?”

Gabriel nodded.  “Ah, but Charlie.”

 

“That’s different.  She and I were friends before.  We’re friends because of this happening.”

Sam nodded and smiled back.  It was the truth, and maybe for that one fact he was glad of this whole thing.   They began to see signs pointing in the right direction.

He asked Gabe, “I think I understand how you feel, but I don’t understand how can you sit there and be so passive.  How does this not tear-at-your-hair frustrate you?”

“Passive.  Really, of the two of us? You’re going to call me passive!” Gabriel’s voice had gone soft, his words melting into a broken cry.   Emotion pouring out of him, something eating at him coming to the surface.  The conversation had been plain, but he looked white.

“I’ve accepted my place.”  He took a breath, and looked up at Sam. Gabriel hands were shaking, and Sam took them in his.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t want to hurt you.  I hate this.  I just really hate this.”  He had regained his composure, lost only for a second.

Gabriel took Sam’s hand and stopped them both walking.  “You only fight when she’s not here.”

Sam looked back in confusion, his hand warm and a little sticky from the bus.  He didn’t pull away, he just looked at Gabriel and tried to read the desperation in his face.  Gabriel gave a slight squeeze and looked up and down the empty street, his grip weakening.  Sam’s hand was empty, but there were two palms gripping his face as Gabriel pulled him down into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally. Damn that took a long time. Hope it made sense.
> 
> Also, and I hope this was clear, some ABO fics use mother/father for the omega/alpha respectively. I don’t, simply because those terms are tied with gender in English and it didn’t make sense grammatically to change it. I think it’s pretty clear and generally irrelevant who carried the child and who didn’t. And to be honest, to make a big deal of it (like I’m doing now – whoops!) would require playing around with terms regarding Mpreg. I know this is omegaverse, but it’s not something I really wanted to focus on. It squicks a lot of people out (including myself sometimes) and it’s physicality is not something I really want to address heavily with this fic. Especially since I changed male Omegas because buttbirth is perhaps the weirdest thing I have ever seen people write about without treating it like crack. Seconded only maybe by erotic birth. But I’m ranting . I would be curious as to find a seriously stranger trope.
> 
> May the Gods of fanfiction forgive 


	19. Chapter 19

 

“What the fuck man” Sam exclaimed.  It wasn’t a question.   Gabriel looked back at him, hope still lingering in his eyes.  

Sam pulled his face from Gabriel’s hand’s, the cuff catching on his collar and for a brief second he caught Sam’s eyes as well.  Now properly looking, trying to understand the desperation he saw there, and the knot in his stomach. 

Gabriel let him go and returned his hands to his side.   Sam’s mouth  hanging open, trying, in the brief moment, to process what happened and say something.  He turned his head down the street, no one had come yet, no one had seen.   The act of going to a protest seemed trivial.   If he had worried about Jo finding out about the protest, hell, he would happily tell her as long as she would never find out about this.   About a kiss.

Gabriel reached for Sam’s hand to pull him to keep walking.   Sam snapped his hand back, standing in place.  Befixed with shock.  His breath a slow pace, still unable to speak, still conflicted. 

“Sam” Gabriel said quietly, “You said you didn’t see how I couldn’t be frustrated with all this – you weren’t exactly wrong.”  It was a bad joke, and Gabriel knew that.   He knew it wouldn’t be taken as the humour as it was meant as.  But he had to try, it was all he could do.

“Can we just go to the protest?”  Sam said, taking a stride, his back now to Gabriel.  It was a cold thing to do, but it was the only thing Sam felt he was able, the only response he could think to take.   He wasn’t angry, at least he didn’t think he was.  He probably should have been, but the day had been so good that now any happiness he had felt just seemed sour.  His stomach felt like it was filled with hot water, and should he have tried to name what he was feeling, confliction would have been the best guess, peppered with more adjectives than he had the patience to count.    

Gabriel followed after him, and they walked for another 20 minutes, everything spinning in both their minds.  The words to say found and lost again over and over.  Regret and Anxiousness swirling around as they walked.  Gabriel stopped. Sam paused also, turning around slowly to face him when he missed the sound of the step.  Gabriel’s face still remorseful.  Sam didn’t want to talk to Gabriel, not right now.  He didn’t think he even know what to say.  He certainly didn’t know what it meant – just like the fear and thrill that spun in his gut.  

“Sam?  Before we do this, I need to say something.”  They moved to the side of the street and into a space under some columns behind the bustop.  “I… ”

“You?”  Sam said harshly.

“I’m sorry.   All I can say is sorry.   I feel terrible for putting you into the middle of my feelings.  I guess I thought  -”

“You know what you think Gabriel” Sam interjected again. He didn’t mean for it come out so coarse, but it was hard to keep his voice level.  

“I _thought_ ” Gabriel repeated, “that you would have had feelings for Omegas before.  And this wasn’t any different.” 

“So you _thought_ that us being packmates wasn’t even a factor.  Both of _us_ being with Jo, that commitment meaning nothing to you.   We could just spent the rest of our lives hiding some secret affair – behind doors that were already closed to begin with.”  He took a breath, trying to keep his voice both down and calm.  “How the fuck did you think this would work Gabriel?”

“I wasn’t thinking that far ahead.  Not our whole lives Sam.  I thought you…   I thought that there was something in you, that might have... that would have wanted to rebel and run from all this.     You’re here Sammy because – ”

“ _Sam_.  It’s Sam, Gabriel.  Just Sam.”  He took  a breath and looked down at Gabriel.  People were walking past now, but they both knew they needed to finish this.   Sam took another breath and looked across Gabe’s face.  The remorse and apology pulling at things inside him horribly.

“Protesting against our underrepresented rights under law.”  Sam said simply. His voice went quiet, and after a moment added “ -and Jo. But That’s not this Gabriel!  This is so far from that.   I’m not –”

“Not what?” 

Sam looked down at him, and then down the street.   They kept a space between them and waited for some people to pass before continuing.

Sam began again.  “Omegas can be on their own.  They can do that.   Stay with their families, then join a pack.  That’s what we’ve – that’s what I’ve done.   That’s what you said I should do!”

His stance was tense now, Gabriel trying desperately not to take the offensive. “Sam I was selfish, but you can’t blame me for you choosing to be with Jo.”

 “I dont.  Of course I don't, it was my decision.   I can want the same rights I had before while being in a pack, without loving someone. It’s not like those things are – ”

“So you don’t love her.”  

“You’re twisting my words.  And you know I don’t.  You don’t either.    We’re in the same boat. ”  He took another breath and tried to steady himself.   The bus was coming up the street and there were a few people on the seat.  “I’m not blaming you.  This isn’t about me Gabriel.   You – you – you kissed me.”    

“Yes.” Gabriel looked at him and smiled slightly.   The bus pulled up.

 

The banners were huge – slogans everywhere, some more clever than others.   And Ω  symbols plastered on every second t-shirt.     There were roadblocks and police cars blocking the march of the banners to the town centre – the town hall the final path of the march in a big circle.

Sam and Gabriel were caught behind a banner held up by three older Omegas ‘I AM NOT YOUR BITCH’ it declared.  They all smelled of the same pack.  Sam and Gabriel tried to keep in the crowd without getting left behind or pushed about.   Standing closer than either might have liked, they marched forward,letting the issue dangle above their heads and discussed the protest.  Joining the walk and looking for interesting slogans, laughing at the bad puns. 

‘My Bark is harder than Your Bite’ written in a sanguine red.

‘Ω’s have a MEEGA ROLE’ and the more simple

‘VOTING REGARDLESS – WAGES REGARDLESS – FREEDOM REGARDLESS’

The thousands of people surrounding them affirming something within them.   A chant rung out and people began to throw their fists into the air, saluting with the cuff held high.    Gabriel and Sam loosing themselves in the moment.   And of course, Sam forgetting for a brief second the journey there.    There were some whole packs and Beta couples.  And a few Alpha/Omega couples, presumably the only one.  

The walk slowed down, the bullhorns at the front ringing out through the streets, everyday people going about now staring at the rowdy Omegas, some sneering, some staring with smiles and others walking by.  The cacophony of smells making it hard to tell which sub-gender they were, the distance and bustle of the crowd making it hard to make out cuffs.   The crowd itself mainly omega’s, a scent of diluted Alpha and Beta still there.   

The march returned to the town centre.  The walk had lasted the better part of the early afternoon, and it felt further reaching than the one on Campus.  Sam wasn’t the type to think that these protests could solve problems, but in the moment, it was nice to feel like it could.   And it was everything it had played out in his head as, assuming no one realised in the pack.  He could tell the Equality Alternative about it, once term started back.

The rally finished with 5 people – 2 Omegas, a Beta and an Alpha – standing on the steps to the town hall overlooking the crowd and each burning cuffs. The symbolic gesture wonderfully affirming before the police riot supervision looked over and the 2 Omegas pulled out plastic cuffs from their pockets.  It was a moment while it lasted.  The smoke rising and summing up something very simple.   Every Omega in the crowd wishing at the very least to do the same.

Sam and Gabe returned to the packing up stalls and Sam asked if they had a look at the books on the table.   Gabriel laughed, “it’s just an updated cover of one of the ones I learnt you Sambo!”

“It is a good one - absolute classic” said the stallholder.  He look to their cuffs and pulled out a clipboard with signatures, “would either of you be interested in signing this petition – for removing omega/omega relationships from the national psychiatry list?”

Sam took a step to take the pen and sign, trying not to give anything away on his face.  Gabriel followed place and they left.  The tension returned as they kept a step between them.  It was something Sam had never considered.  It was a separate issue, and separate in his mind.   And it hurt within him.  In the abstract it felt unfair, another thing that had changed so arbitrarily and ridiculously.  But in the moment, and in the conversation with the man beside him, it felt wrong.  And it didn’t in the same way everything else did about all of this.  It made more sense, than say, the forced relationship with Jo.  But this felt like a friendship gone wrong.  Wrong perhaps only because of the law, and because for that reason he had never considered it. 'It' he thought again.  Easier, even in his own mind, to avoid the terms to make it less real, if only for a moment.

For all those facts, or thoughts or whatever he thought they were – he still didn’t know how to process Gabriel kissing him.  It was a thing separate from everything.  Like a dream confused with memory from long ago, his mind deciding lethargy easier in the moment.  Thus they talked about the protests and the movement in abstract, and for the journey back it was easy enough.  

 

***

 

Dean pulled Cas into the broom closet

“For fucks sake Cas this was your fucking idea”

Cas titled his head and knee’ed Dean in the thigh, the confined space and mutual respect saving Dean the pain of a groin shot.  They both exhaled sharply as someone walked by.  It was the staff area and on the way to the bathroom of the restaurant.  But this was a tad ridiculous.

And so was the kiss Cas pulled Dean into.   The lights were off, and with his back to the wall Dean could only let his arms flair around trying not to hit a broom handle as he reached around.    The only light emanating from under the door, and from Cas, who generally seemed to Dean to have a glow about him. 

Dean grabbed at Cas’s back and ruffled his hair, enough to feel it softness, a tad wet from the afternoon’s shower.  But given they were making out in a janitorial closet, some things didn’t seem worth dwelling on.     His hands pulled back to his jeans and began to unbutton before Cas pushed them away.  

“Come on Cas.  No one’s around” he said with a cheeky glint in his eyes.

Cas pecked him on the cheek.   And then the neck and then he was on his knees and unzipping Dean’s pants himself.    

“Seriously Dean.  Your father –”

“Bobby isn’t technically my father – ”  Dean cut in.

“- isn’t here yet.  Give me five minutes, you wont regret it”  He said with what sounded like a ridiculous smirk on his face.   Dean looked down and groped for the side of Cas’s face and took it in his hands pulling him away.

“Not that. Not here.”  He said, trying to get Cas to return to his feat.

“I know Dean.  I don’t have a condom and there is no away I am waiting until we return home”

Dean looked down, peering into Cas’s eyes “wow Cas.  Talk dirty to me.”  It wasn’t quite what Dean had been implying, but Dean loved how Cas’s mind worked sometimes.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to try and update every sunday - australia time. It's been working for me the last couple of weeks and keeping the momentum to write this is difficult when I have no experience prior. Hopefully its all working out well (like the sex lives of Cas and Dean!). Time for bed maybe.....


	20. Chapter 20

“Sammy, Sammy, Sammy” Gabriel repeated, “It’s a bunch of people walking about with some painted cardboard.”   It was a conversation they kept having, every time it came up.  

“Read and walk and sign all the scraps of paper you want Sam.   Those Omegas are going to return home to their packs.  The ones they were born into, or the ones they joined, and the same thing is going to start again.   We can spend all day at the march, break all the rules, even for a brief second – ” a glint formed in Gabriel eye “ – but we come home to Jo.”

Sam looked across at Gabriel.  For everything that happened and didn’t understand, Gabe was still his best friend.  And it would look suspicious not to hang around him.   He didn’t want not to be Gabriel’s friend, he just didn’t want anything else either.   Sam tried to push back at the doubt.   Cynicism was still tapping at his mind, the grating voice was increasing to a registrable registrable range.  

Gabriel looked back at him again. His face looked like the sound a kicked dog might make.  “You can’t run from this Sam.  Believe me, I’ve tried.” 

They kept walking down the beach in the late afternoon air.   It was hardly a perfect evening, despite the days weather in the city.   Clouds were rolling in, and the wind was now picking up, sand blowing against their legs.    But at least most people had left, and it wasn’t cold.  Yet. 

The colours of the packs towels were faint in the distance.  Far out of hearing range, but the pack smell still lingering.  Everpresent it seemed.  

They walked up to the top of a dune skirting the beach. 

“See anything?”  Gabriel asked.

“There are ships.”  Sam replied.

“I can see them.” Gabriel said flatly.

Sam pushed a few blades of beach grass aside with his foot.  He sat down.  Began to drag his hand across the sand, the sand getting inside his cuff.   Gabe sat down too.  The moment began to draw itself out like a frustrated animator.

“Gabriel.  What are we doing out here?”

“Hanging out.  Enjoying the beach.  Waiting for sunset.”  Gabriel’s knees were pulled up to his torso, his head to the side.  Neither were looking at each other, both gazing across the empty beach.  The sound of the wind blurring the ends of words. 

“Are we going to talk about the kiss?”

Gabriel didn’t react.  His face stayed calm, but he didn’t look over.  Just kept his eyes fixed on some unseen thing in the distance that wasn’t Sam’s face and wasn’t the conversation in front of him.  He looked younger than he was.  But it was obvious to see that this wasn’t weighing on him like a child’s problem.  This was so much bigger and much worse.

“Even if we weren’t in packs.  Even if all of this was some kind of perfect fairytail where you could climb on the back of my motorbike and we could go out for milkshakes, reality would catch up.We don’t live in some perfect world, where things are just going to magically work out.  Omegas don’t kiss Omega’s.”

Gabriel looked over at him.  His eyes were watering.  Maybe from the wind, maybe from the words.   His patented smile was still firmly on his face.   He let his feet drop down the slight incline, digging into the sand.  He hugged his knees and looked over the ocean.

“you have too many layers on, you know that?”  He said eventually.  “It’s not that cold.  It just looks cold.”   Sam didn’t speak.  He understood.

Sam had only just carved himself a new place as a Omega, but Gabriel had always been here, and he wasn’t here at all. His mind was being dredged up.   He was trying to place Gabriel – what Gabriel was into what he knew, and everything that he now needed to grasp.

It’s wasn’t about gender – that was the thing.  If it was about being a lesbian or gay or even bi, then Gabriel’s feeling would have fit in a box that Sam’s mind already had.  Those aspects of sexuality were thought not to come into play with Omegas.  And for those who chose their own, they would choose the Alpha of the gender they liked if they had a preference.  That made sense.   What didn’t make sense was if they had a preference for something other than Alphas.  Because of course they liked Alphas.  That was obvious.   That was the most basic fact about them.  _Omega_ : ˈəʊmɪgə/:  A subgender which capable of childbirth and primarily subordinate to Alpha’s.

They were both breathing deeply.  Even for the cooling afternoon air, it seemed a shame to waste the beauty of the moment.  The air.  The wind.  The time they could spend together. 

“Can I ask you something Jo said a couple weeks back in passing?”

“I am an open book kiddo.  Shoot.”   It sounded somewhere between sarcastic and sorrowful. 

Sam considered his question.  Rolling it around in his head, and then in his mouth.   He needed to ask it now.  He didn’t want to.   “You – you and Jo.   You don’t like her, not like, one might expect, - ”

“- not that that’s is exactly uncommon in our situation.”  Gabriel joked back, looking at him, a smile again slightly curving the side of his mouth.  

Sam continued, “but not like most people.  You don’t like her, don’t like Alpha’s in that way.  Given a choice I mean.  You feel, differently to me or, or Anna. ”  

“That’s not a question.”  He was looking at Sam.  Eye’s like someone had betrayed a great secret.  Perhaps they had.  The corners of his mouth were still turned up.   Things can be denied if you don’t put them into words, leave the questions unasked and the statements unsaid.   The words are what make them real.

“If that’s not the issue, then why…”

“Why do I enjoy sleeping with her.  That’s what she said right?  Something like that.  Comparing the two of us?  You not liking it and me?”

Sam nodded. 

“It’s not unpleasant.  It’s even – I like to make the best of a bad situation Sam.  ‘Bad’ probably isn’t even the right word.  But I won’t feel that way towards her.   It’s not something I think I ever will.” Gabe said slowly, like he was explaining it to Sam and himself.   The words needing to be dragged out of him, while still looking cheerful as always.  Cracks slowly showing through the facade. Like the mornings kiss.  

“So you researched?   That’s why you know about the movements and the books and stuff.”   Sam said quickly, else the moment was lost.  Gabriel leaned back and surveyed the beach again.  His face was still hardened, and the lines on his face looked deeper now.  

Sam’s entire question was one he didn’t entirely want an answer to.  The obvious inference was just one he didn’t want to make.   It had been stated.  But that didn’t mean it didn’t have messy consequences and complications.  Truths Gabriel had tried to deny himself.   Sam’s understanding of Gabriel’s feelings, classifying him as _that,_ one of _them_ , it didn’t need to be serious.  It didn’t need to be faced.    Like the disease it was generally considered to be.  A mental disorder under the physiological disorders act.  Relationships like that only whispered about, and naturally unrecognised.   

From what Sam knew growing up, it had never seemed strange to be with either girls or boys.  His father had warned him about Alphas – and Omegas.  John had always taught him and his brother to avoid that life.   And it hadn’t mattered, up until now.  In his mind he thought of the girls he had dated, and the scarce boy.  Not that that was the issue.  Primary gender was never an issue with him.  Most tended not to care about that.   

But with sub-genders, it was starkly different.   And he had dated Omegas, it seemed inherently wrong none.  Like discovering you had kissed a second cousin.  He wasn’t sure why.  Omegas and betas didn’t last, or course.    He hadn’t understood it before, but now, it made sense not even to consider, however briefly, you could date someone and have them be your equal.   Beta’s and Alpha’s certainly could if they wanted to, but Omegas didn’t have the option.  Maybe that was why Omega’s could be with Omega’s, neither was capable of being dominant.   Because that was what both needed.    As much as the thought made sense, it felt so taboo now it was in front of him.  Now the metaphorical blood was on his metaphorical hands.  Or saliva on his lips.   It still made his stomach clench.

Looking over at Gabe, looking at his lips, his eyes, his hair and the slight smile on his face as he took slow breaths, his stomach clenched tighter.  For reasons he didn’t want to identify, but he understood in a primal way. 

“You know Sam – ”  Gabe said, pulling him from a dangerous thought.

“- I’m not.”  Sam took a breath. “I’m not what you want me to be.   Everything aside.  It’s not, I’m sorry.  I’m not.”

“Not what?” Gabriel asked quiety.

“You know what.”

“One of those Omegas ?” Gabriel said lightly.  

Gabriel stood up ubruptly.  Guilt was sinking into him, and they needed to get back.  He had dragged Sam into his disorder and his issue.  It wasn’t worth pretending that this was normal.  That this was healthy.   And it wasn’t fair to bring his friend into it.   They were pack mates, and they were going to be for a long time.  And if he got to be with Sam as a friend, so be it. 

Gabriel offered a hand to Sam and helped him up.   Sand flicked up where his feet had been dug into the sand.   They both smiled again, and the tenseness of the moment passed.   The sun was still high, but the sky was beginning to fade.  They began to walk down the dune.

Sam looked over, in the far distance he could see the last of the people on the beach.  The smell of the  pack blowing upwind of them.  Almost alone.  He leaned down and kissed Gabriel on the cheek.

“I’m sorry.”  Sam said.  He wanted to do more.  But for the moment, it felt like enough.

 

“Looks like you two had a lovers spat.”  Said Anna when they made it back to the last clump of towels on the beach.

Jo laughed and Michael cracked a half smile. His eyes faintly suspicious.   Gabriel grabbed at his chest and shook his fist at Sam who laughed along with the rest.   

 

***

“Sam?  Would you come here a minute?”  Jo called out from her room.     Michael was still sitting beside him, eyes flicking up from the tv, confusion forming on his face.  Sam’s stomach dropped.   And yet he had to go.    Pushing up from the chair he looked over to Michael.  His jaw clenched and but his eyes seemed to convey smugness, Sam was the one in trouble not him.

Sam stood up to his full height – a last minute attempt to pull himself from these pointless mind games, as if he was a naughty child, called into explain himself.   By now it was beginning to seem pointless even to question these little degrading acts.   Although the comparison wasn’t without merit, there were plenty who still liked to think of Omega’s as having small or incapable brains.  That wasn’t the look on Jo’s face as he walked into the room – even she had to respect him at that level, they were both studying law. 

 She was unlacing her boots, perched on the side of the bed.  Blonde hair dangling over her tiny frame as her nails pulled apart cord.  Almost delicate. Almost.   A smile pulled onto his face, maybe from the days rebellion or just pure exhaustion from trying to fit into this game anymore – but of the two of them – he was the more delicate one.

Jo kicked off the boot and looked up with her head cocked to the side.

“Had a good day then” she said with a grin.

“It was alright” Sam began, unsure of where this was going.    There was no way she could know.  But there was also no other reason to be called in here.   His mind clicked back to the worry it had seen on Michaels face.  Maybe she did know.  Gabriel couldn’t have told her about the protest and he certainly would have told her about the other thing.

Maybe Jo could just smell fear.    And guilt.  Even the tiny, unnecessary and unjustifiable bit he felt.  Still she looked at him, so assuredly in her posture, no self consciousness to worry about, this feeling within him so removed from her.  A foreign object that now seemed to inhabit every facet of his body, even his unconscious mind.   Within her gaze, and within even the simplest questions.

Her question was left unanswered.   Instead she moved to pull out some pajamas from the suitcase.   “Oh, you’re going to bed.  I’ll get Michael.”  He said suddenly.

“No.”

He paused.  “Stay,” she said.  “I’m going to bed, but stay.”

His feet tensed and he felt hyperaware of his body language.  Trying to keep his face neutral.   Trying not to show some level of displease, and the obvious connection his mind made.  Her face wasn’t giving anything away. 

“Don’t worry Sam.  You’re not on heat.   And besides – ” her voice went quiet, “You didn’t seem to like it last time.   I’m not about to make you lie back and think of… anyways.”  

He took a step back towards the door. 

“So why am I here then?”  he asked as politely as he could, given the circumstances.  Trying not to clench a fist or give of any obvious signs of discomfort.   

“You don’t want to be?”  It was rhetorical, the answer obviously implied to be a laughable yes. “You are part of my pack Sam.”

He nodded.  It didn’t feel right but he nodded, a chill running up his legs from last time.    His hands gently grazing his sides, in an effort not to look out of place.  To make himself smaller and fit the role.   His mind had somehow resolved itself to a feeling in his gut of subservience and constant apathetic bitterness.  A hated feeling he was protesting again, but the marches meant nothing if – but he looked at her, and she was his still friend.  And this had been a kindness, and, she didn’t hurt him, or force him to do anything.  None of this was inherently bad.  But none of it could be rectified within his mind, so being quiet and waiting seemed the best option.

“Sam?”  She asked again, “are you ok?   If it is heat, I’m here, whatever you need.” 

It would be easier if she was the mould of a knot-head.  Easy to justify fighting back.    But even the tiniest crimes can be committed with a smile, and she just wanted to help.  Offering misguided help was probably part of the problem, but that was another issue for another day.  

“I’m fine Jo.  Next heat is weeks off, there’s no need to worry.”   He said.   The truth was him and Gabriel.   And maybe it would be better if he lied and said it was.  Scent the only thing that would betray him.  The ingrained assumptions assuring that no one would suspect him and Gabriel.  Omegas could get close, and within packs it was expected to happen.

 “That’s great.   As I said.  We can have sex when your feeling more comfortable.”  She said.  Her eyes darting to where the scar could just be seen from the collar of his shirt.  

 

 

He pushed his head back onto the pillow, his fear just dipping over the end of the bed.  She lightly stroked his arm, when he rolled over, trying to get comfortable.  He smiled at the touch, well within the realms of platonic.  

There was something conflicted tossing about in his head.   The initial turmoil had settled, any feelings of discontent towards Gabriel from the protest were gone completely, but the water still sloshed about the brim.   It settled when he thought of Jo.  Settled and sunk, spilling out down an unseen drainhole.  These were not thoughts he knew how to tell her, but something within him wanted to.  

Her body was warm beside her.  It wasn't cold enough to spoon.   He wanted to trust her, like he trusted Gabriel.   Of the two of them, it made more sense for him to trust her.   For him to go and do things with her, to kiss her unexpectedly and to want to hear her laugh and bring little cups of hot chocolate in the morning. 

She was a friend who stayed at arms distance, and he seemed only to understand her abstractly in his head, her motivations and actions better in the arbitrary. 

He didn't know what he needed.  It didn't seem to be her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is coming together nicely. Maybe too much angst in this chapter. Maybe. Hope you enjoy. 
> 
> NOTE Posting on sundays from now on.


	21. Chapter 21

_The floor creaked under him, as he carefully paced through the main living room.  Most of the doors were somewhere between missing and pulled off their hinges.  The windows having enough curtain to flap menacingly.  It was the perfect set up for ghost hunting._

_“Cas?”  He said quietly after a particularly heavy gust of wind._

_“Cas get your feathery ass down here – This might be important.”  Dean said, maybe a little too seriously.  Cas wouldn’t understand the affection of the insult, but knowing the angel, he would come anyway._

_Dean paced around the room again.  The salt gun was perched up again the wall and the exits to the room had been salted, there was iron in his pocket, but in truth he wasn’t sure that would hold whatever this thing was.   He was hinging this plan on the trapping sigil, and Cas backing him up.   The EM metre spiking as he stepped into the room, closer to the centre of the house, but the readings were low for something of this supposed size.   Maybe it was a regular spirit, nothing worth his time, or the matches to burn the bones.  His instincts had a better track record than the EM metre, and for good reason.  
_

_He stepped back into the main room._

_“Hello Dean.”_

_Dean smiled and slapped Cas on the shoulder._

_“Come’on, let’s get this party started.”  He said with a slight laugh.  Cas looked back at him, his posture nauseatingly straight, and face the usual furrow of confusion.   His eyes searched Dean’s face and nodded sternly, signalling to start the summoning._ _Peering across the chalk outline on the floor, there was no reaction on his face. Only a slight nod to Dean, and a brush of his hand against his arm as he passed by to the opposite side the circle.  It was a tiny gesture, all the pair would allow themselves. But it was enough._

_The first of the latin syllables began to form in Dean’s mouth when he felt a sudden pressure on his leg.  A warmth. He spun his head round, breath catching.   The ghost yet to arrive and Cas still on the other side of the room. It -_

Dean rolled over, pulling the blankets with him.   Cas’s knee had poked against the back of Dean’s.   He was cold, because someone - Cas  - had not only stolen the entirety of the comforter, but also decided to awkwardly elbow him in the kidney.  Beside him, spread out, face first in the bed and embracing the sheets in a giant hug. 

Dean took a breath.  He flicked off the blanket and sat on the edge of the bed.  He took a swig from the glass of water and stood up. 

Barely in his boxers.   He should have probably minded that, or at least minded the cold.  But getting out from the bed with Cas, from all the kinds of warmth under the covers, was the only that he minded.   

Back from the bathroom, he paced down the hallway and into the room,  The door of his closet was open, the stiff sleeve of the jacket reaching out from amongst his other rarely worn clothing.   It had been his fathers, and since the funeral Dean hadn't had the heart to put in on.    

“Are you ok?”  Cas said, face pulled up from the indent in the mattress.  Dean’s footsteps must have been too loud.  “It’s cold.  Come back to bed.” Cas muttered.     

“I’m fine.”  Dean said, arms against the end of the bed.   “Dinner with Bobby, it brought up a lot of memories.”

Cas’s arms were around him before Dean had a chance to lean against the bedpost.  Cas yawned, but he was still there.  Dean’s head was circling itself, chattering away.  But at least his dream hadn't had the chance to become a nightmare, and at the very least he had made it to sleep.  

“Bobby is the reason I’m here Cas – studying, keeping it together.  He’s the reason I have my life together.  I was barely out of school when Dad died, and I toed the line for several years working for him but now with everything - ”  there was a hitch in his voice.

Dean’s arms were squeezed against his side.  Cas didn’t say anything.  He took a breath.  Dean took a breath.   The moment waddled along, as fast as it needed to.

“My Dad wouldn’t have approved of you Cas.  Not even a little bit.   And he would have never forgiven me for letting this happen to Sammy.  Hell, he would have damn near disowned Sam for – ”  It was too dark to tell, but there was a hitch in Dean’s throat, and Cas pulled him closer.   “He was so proud to have raised us to be Betas, away from everything that to him was…”

Cas stroked the side of Dean’s face.  His fingers lingered, running through the hair behind his ear and across the side of his head.  The tips of his fingers gentle and warm, although it was too dark to see.   “It’s not your fault Sam is not a Beta Dean.”  Cas’s voice was quiet, tender.  “You can not choose these things.”

“I know Cas.  I.”  Dean took a breath and pressed his face into Cas’s shoulder.   He could feel the rise and fall of the other chest against his, unwilling the feeling within him.  The silence a necessity of the moment. 

“Bobby was lovely.”   Cas said finally.  “He seemed – ”

“- he’s not my father.”  Dean cut off.  A little too quickly, but it was the truth.  It felt like a betrayal not to say it.   “He did like you though.  He was never as hard line against Alpha’s.”

Cas face was pulled into slight confusion.   “Your father would not have liked us being together,” he simply said.

“He wasn’t so keen two guys being together either,” he paused.  “But this really would have taken the cake in his eyes for disrespect.  Bobby knows that.”  

“He seemed pleased that you were happy Dean.”  Cas replied.  

“I am happy Cas.  Really happy.”   He lifted his chin up and kissed Cas on the cheek.    Cas turned his head and smiled at Dean.  His eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness for him to push his head  forward and know he’d be met with Dean’s mouth.   They lingered there in the slow kiss for a moment, no tongue, just a moment passing.

Cas flicked the sheets up, and they both crawled into bed.  The warm spots were still in the mattress and they moved over to spoon once again.  Dean’s face was pressed into the nape of Cas’s neck, his arms around his torso.  There minds began to drift and sleep came back to embrace them both with the curtails of dreams.

 “I love you” he said. 

“I love you too,” he replied.

 

 

Meg was in the kitchen when they came downstairs in the morning.  The holidays almost over, the house getting busier with each passing day.  They still needed to fill the extra room if they wanted to keep the rent certain, and it was Dean if anything, who was on the verge of moving out.

She looked over at the pair and set down the toast from her mouth onto the plate, flicking on the coffee maker for them.   Dean went to open the fridge, reaching for the bacon.

Meg leaned over the counter and stared at the pair of them.

“I’d get used to the kitchen Dean.  Looks like someone will be the first of bitch of a pack.”

Cas shoot her a look sharper than the knifes in the kitchen.    She feigned an apologetic look before adding, “well its better than your brother.    First is something.”

Cas sighed.

 “I do not have a pack Meg.  Even so, Dean would not be a bitch. ”  Cas replied.  Straight Faced.    Maybe a little more tensed than necessary.  

Dean cracked some eggs into the pan.  It didn’t feel worth commenting, It was a joke with some truth to it, a truth he didn’t like to consider.  But he had never been this serious with a guy, with a person, with anyone; let alone an Alpha.   So maybe it was worth more thought.

“If anything Meg” he said, pointing with the spatula, “he’s the bitch.”  

Cas looked confused.  Meg laughed riley, her face softening before her eyes turned to Dean.  She held them there for a moment before shrugging, passing Cas on her way out of the kitchen.    In afterthought, Dean probably should have used the opportunity to call Meg the real bitch, and if he was the Alpha, he would have offered Meg to join.  There was only so much wit you can expect before 10am.  

Cas turned to look at Dean.  His back was to him, facing the stovetop.  “Is this something we need to talk about?”  Cas asked. 

“We did, last night.”   Dean replied firmly.

“I was tired Dean, but I would have remembered that.”   Cas said.     

 

 *** 

Sam packed his suitcase in the back of the car.    The final day of vacation was wet, with clouds looming overhead even when the rain decided to stop.   Michael wanted to get on the highway before it started again, and although one final walk along the beach was customary with these things, no one wanted to leave the cabin.    

Michael was saying a final goodbye to his parents.  Jo was taking the time to thank them again, and the others were waiting for them to return in the cabin. 

“You ok Anna?”  Sam asked.  She took another sip of water and tucked her feet up on the couch.    “Aspirin?”     he asked again.  

She thanked him politely, but declined.

 

The car ride back was long, and silent.   The rain ensured it wasn’t uncomfortable, at least not like the one with Jo coming up, Sam thought.   She was in the other car with Anna and Michael was with them this time.   Sam’s legs were a somewhat squished in the back.    

Michael had given Sam a look before getting in the front.  A little tilt of the head, not quite aggressive, but still unknown.   But it was something Sam couldn't quite place, but maybe that was just suspicion.    He hadn’t said anything before they got into the car, and he didn’t seem unhappy, thus Sam let the thought slide.    Much like the attempts at conversation throughout the journey.     

“Looks like the rains letting up” and “The waves were better this time round” Michael began at the occasional interval.  Apart from that, stilted silence, and sporadic turning on of the radio. 

Eventually Sam asked “Did Anna seem alright to you?” 

He couldn’t see Gabriel’s reaction, but Michael turned his head with a slight look of puzzlement.  Not for the concern, but for the question.  It seemed to say, ‘why are you asking?’ but not ‘why do you care?’

It was Gabriel who spoke up.  “Her heat is tomorrow Sam.”

“You didn't pick up on the scent?”  Michael asked.  

 

***

The waiter put the tray of Garlic bread on the table.  It was the final Friday before semester started back and they had decided to celebrate.   

“Do you believe in soulmates?”  Dean asked suddenly. 

Cas gave him the usual blank-stare-head-tilt.

“Soulmates?   You know.  People with whom you meet and its them, definitely and it’ them.  Just them.  You just know.”  He pulled a smile from the side of his face, somewhere between embarrassed and open.  “I just really like the idea of no mater the circumstance or reality or whatever – we find – _they find_ each other.  Any reality, any dream.  You find each other no matter the universe.”

“Soulmates are made.”  Cas said blankly, not picking up on Dean’s faux pa.  “With each passing day your souls become closer. Some may begin close, but it takes time.  No one is perfect, neither is any relationship.”   More matter of fact than the conversation may have required.  “Why do you ask?”

Dean smiled again, “Weird dream” he said.  “But I take it you’re not one for little cupids flying around on valentine’s day, Nia Vardarlos and chocolate hearts?”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that Dean.  But I like to think that it takes time.   And even if you were sure – ” Cas said wearily, choosing his words with  a sudden care, “people over time, it is what makes perfection. An asymptote. Sometimes with  romantic comedies, sometimes with candlelight dinners and sometimes with _economics_ tutoring.  ”

A smile spread right over Dean’s face, a little laugh escaping him.  “You know I’m never taking that subject again.  Or anything else within the entire damned faculty.  But.  I passed with a credit.”  He said with a hint of pride.

“Congratulations.  I expected nothing less.”  Cas declared.

Dean nodded, his eyes returning to the menu.  “I was waiting to tell you, results were released last night.”

“I also have something to tell you."  Cas began, "Nothing so impressive as my boyfriend’s success in his most hated subject, but.”    He paused.   His voice went from joking to a slightly deeper register, which was disettling for Cas.  “Meg’s joke this morning has made me think.”

“Ok, sure Cas.” Dean said with a look, “I’d watch your words or perfect will be the force behind my fist on that pretty jawline.”  Dean smirked

“Really Dean?”  Cas said. “Violence.”  He looked amused for a second, “I would like you to meet my brother.”  He said slowly, “He is also an Alpha.  But I suspect he will not hold the same reservations as Bobby in regards to our relationship.  Common as this arrangement is becoming, my family is traditionalist and I – ”

“Say no more.”  Dean said with a smile, before adding: “Is this really that non traditional?”

Cas looked perplexed for a moment.   Around them sat other couples, mostly Betas.  A few Omega and Alpha pairs, but not so many.  An even spread of straight and gay pairings throughout the room, though Cas didn’t really notice.   Those stigmas were a fading indent in the Beta community, one from many generations hence.   There were other larger tables with Omegas and an Alpha, towards the back of the large room.  Cas looked around for a second, taking note for an extended moment.  “It would seem Dean, we are the only Alpha Beta pair here tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :D


	22. Chapter 22

“If this is the best they can do for Intro week?”   Jo asked. 

“It’s decent for second semester.  Besides, we get to avoid the arts students.”  Sam said, walking past the quiddich clubs signage.  The main courtyard was sparsely packed, the odd student moving between the stalls skirting the edges of the buildings.    The day was a little too hot to be out, and not every faculty started this week, they enjoyed it anyway.  

“You wouldn’t rather be starting next week with them?”  She asked.

“I’ve missed this,” Sam replied.  “And besides Dr. Azazel lectures are only torture if you don’t do the readings.”  He looked at her, “or the assignments.”

Jo looked at him and laughed a quiet chuckle.    Her arm snaked around his lower back.  “Ah but now, you are right here to help me.”

He took a breath.  And then waited a beat.  His voice keeping within the realm of joking, “Well, _legally,_ I don’t really have much of a choice in the matter.”

Jo didn’t blink.    “Of the two of us,” she started, choosing her words, “you’d be the one to know.”

He nodded.  She meant it as a joke, but of the two of them, his heart was in law.  Jo was on the dart board, but she hadn't found the bullseye yet. 

“Was there a club you wanted to sign up for?” Jo asked, before adding, “You’re not in my tute today, although I appreciate the company.”

Again he took a second, beginning as casually as he hoped it would sound, “I just wanted to check out the groups.  Always fun.” 

His heat was coming up.  Looming on his mind, the thought’s thread winding around his head and slowing pulling  tighter until it was taught against his forehead and inescapable.  Coming here with her was currency for an extra favour, or getting out of something.  He knew what he wanted.   It wasn’t that.  

He looked down at her, his opposite hand moving up for a brief second to run his hand through her hair while they were walking, instead moving back into place, letting go of the motion.   Trying to be romantic, but showing affection in misplaced gestures was the motions of a choreographed fight amidst ballet.   Not that Jo would have worn the tutu in their relationship.  And if it were Gabriel – not that the thought should even be crossing his mind – both of them would be in tutus, Sam’s a modest pink and Gabriel’s something fluoro and worryingly short whenever he went to pirouette.  “Besides, I wanted to check out some books in the library,” he added, snapping from the thought. 

“Why didn’t you say so when we were passing it before?” asked Jo.

“I can go back later when you are in your tute” he replied, the image of Gabriel dancing, quite literally dancing, around in his mind amusing him in all too intimate ways.     

“Aww Sam, your adorable,” she gestured, “So clingy when you’re about to go into heat.”  Jo said, hand moving momentarily down to more than dangle at the small of his back before moving up again.   Perhaps because it was a public place, or perhaps because physical affection between them was slow to develop, either way, it felt unpleasant and made his spine tingle for a nervous second.   

“You wouldn’t rather it be later?”  Sam asked.

“It’s not about me Sam.  Omega’s need to be helped through the heat,” she took his hand in his and gave it a slight squeeze.  “Whatever you need, I just want you to feel better,” her voice was sincere, perhaps too sincere.  She accepted this, at the very least, she thought it was true.  Anna feigning a headache and Gabriel suggesting watching tv, as well as his own somewhat forced smile seemed to be almost irrelevant.  The facts in front of her face meaningless, with the truths she wanted and the way the world was in the way she had more than grown to accept.     

When Jo left for her tutorial – farewelling him for the next hour and a half with a kiss containing everything but tongue.  Her hands at his collar pulling his face down into hers, hands spreading out across his collar to thumb across the scar, if only for a brief second before waving off.   His hands hadn’t left his sides, just as his affections hadn’t left his heart.    

Sam walked to the Omega Student Unions stall almost immediately.   Although he was sure that this was not something Jo would mind him doing, knowing he was out of her vision was comforting.   They pointed the way to the Equality Alternative meeting and his heart sank as it was in the same building as her tute. 

 

It was a tiny room, different from last time, but the single sheet of paper on the door held the  familiar image of an Omega doing a salute into the air, the cuff the central focus and the power undeniable.  He took a moment before stepping through the door, looking either way, irrationally even by his standards that someone would see and tell on him.  Like a child.  Like someone incapable of making decisions.  Everything that the tiny little figure on cheap paper, was alone in reminding him he wasn’t. 

There was coffee and baked goods to start the meeting off with.  A benefit of being one of the only Omega dominated societies was the fact that most people there were quite acquainted with the kitchen.   

Introductions were had again.  Each filled with a nudge of rebellion, or a dislike of a status quo.    The Alpha’s of the group stuck out during these moments, they could share stories of family members suffering at the hands of domestic violence, and assure the members of their sympathies for the cause, however it didn’t make it their fight.  Indirectly, it was everyone’s fight, and looking around it seemed like everyone in the room wanted to be on the right side.    

And once the cuffs were put in the centre of the table, the only marker of difference was scent, and posture.    

The first speakers were a couple. ‘Packmates’ they introduced themselves as.  The Omega, a slightly older girl introduced herself by pulling down her shirt neck and showing the smooth skin.   

“We are equals in this relationship.  Or we try very hard to be, and I will not shy away from the fact that it had been difficult” said her partner.  “Everything around us, all our friends see, tv, movies, books, always has it one way.  It’s not easy breaking out of that, and it helps that we got together a little later, and that my family is a little more liberal, luxuries that not everyone has.  It pains me to think of my fiancé trapped in a system with no control over her life, and I wish the same freedom for all of you.”

There were the inevitable questions about how they managed the little things. 

“We always take lots of caution during heats, to avoid unnecessary pregnancy.  I want to finish my degree first.  And when you have that trust in a person, I can – ” a smile crawled onto her face “ – understand where the stereotypes for Omega’s during this time came from.”   

And

“Of course we share this fact of our relationship with the people we trust, but it’s not something that we feel a need to explain.   But cutting people out is not something we can do right now, our parents in particular.” 

They were the only pair in the room today.  Sam could smell Omega’s from the same pack, sitting next to each other with a slight look of envy.  There were Beta’s, much like himself before, in the room with a look of confusion, as if they were students in a class they had already taken.  It was given, and in this space and moment it was accepted, but somehow the world had yet to grasp. 

Two Omega’s confessed that they were supposedly out shopping today, one to his Alpha and the other to his family.   Another said quietly that they were worried they would be caught, but to them this felt worth it.   Only one in the room had fully disclosed what they were doing, and thankfully had full consent.  Their Alpha didn’t understand, but accepted it, which was a change of pace.      

Pace itself for the meeting was quick. Sam took out his phone to check the time.  There were 5 missed calls and 2 texts. 

_//Tute finished, boring as ever.   See you in a sec :P //_

Followed 15 minutes later with   _//Where are you SAM??????//_

“Everything ok?”  the Omega to the right of him asked, “Something you would like to share to the group before we consider the recent developments?”

Sam shook his head and farewelled everyone.  It had been nice.

_//Outside 7CB//_

_//COMING NOW.//_

He responded.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a tad late - Personal stuff always has a bad habit of sneaking up on you.


	23. Chapter 23

Was she screaming?  Or was capslock on?   The text made it hard to say.  But he needed to go, there was no doubt in his mind.  

As it stood, Jo had been patient with him.  He and Jo were not as close as Jo was the others of the pack, the ease of knowing where you stood was lost on him so far.  But right now the expectation was to hurry, and to apologise.  He had wronged her, and he tried not to let the thought of anger leading to aggression, leading to violence, trail off into someplace he didn’t want to think about.  

In LAW234 they would be discussing civil cases within the pack of that nature in the second half of semester.  At the beginning of the year when he had signed up, the idea that he might speak from experience – and this was his mind working over time surely - was absurd.  Or, at least it seemed absurd, but there was only so fast he could walk through campus, and the mind throughs itself down open pits at the first toe over the edge.

When he had been dating Ruby, she had always been mean. The lifetime ago that that was. Little snarks and jabs and the occasional shouting match.  But he never feared her.  He had never feared, fearing her.  And although he didn’t fear Jo, at least not yet, the power that she held over him scared him.  His heart was beating with the walk, faster and faster trying to steady his thoughts and keep going.        

He turned down the main walk and began to think of remedies for the solution. ‘Sorry I was X’  ‘Caught up with Blah’ or the favourite ‘ my phone was turned off’.  

If there was a way calm himself he would have thoughtlessly took it, unclench his hands and look her full in the face and say one of these things.  Little white lies.  

There was a flash of the brief thought of honesty.  Ideally, it would just flow from conversation, a passing reference to the girl who had been sitting next to him, repeating the joke from the opening speech and then something funny someone said back – she wouldn’t laugh, but only because you really had to be there. 

His brother wasn’t here to save him this time.  Dean couldn’t, even if he had wanted.  There was nothing he could do.  There was nothing Sam could do.  Except maybe in few minutes it took to return to Jo, work around in his mind everything bad that could happen, every option and try to process them.

The path in front of him was full, people leaving and going to their next class.  He had been gone too long.  He saw some people he knew but kept looking forward, pretending not to see. There was no time.  

She was worried.  She had called him.  He had to go.     

 

 

He made it into the main courtyard and began to walk forward undirected.  In the distance he saw her clothes, and there was a vague sense of her smell.  But that was also on his clothing, and melded with everything.   This final thought as he approached her,  his mind escaping in the moment.  Fleeing in the only way possible.  Instead,  he caught her eye and smiled lightly, unforced and a greeting. Enough but not too much.  

She didn’t look angry, or happy or impatient even.  Best case scenario was an impatient Jo who wanted to get home no questions asked.  Worse case was utter wrath.  But that had already been considered.    She could deprive him, and more easily than he liked to think, could set the others against him.  They were bound to her more than they were loyal to him, he was still a new pack mate.    If he hoped for anything it would be confusion, or her belittling him as if this was all childish naivety, or even a pointless act of rebellion against her.    

Maybe it was.  And it suddenly didn’t feel worth the trouble.  But her face didn’t show any tell-tale emotions he had considered.

Her face, along with crossed arm and glaring eyes, looked disappointed.   Chin tilted up, but her eyes were looking down.  

“Sam.”   She said, succeeding in a fake smile.  “Getting late isn’t it.”   Her eyes gave an exaggerated flick to her watch and back to him.  

He shuffled forward, breaking the space between them with his height.  An insignificant gesture, there was no way for him to get the upper hand, but it seemed worth clawing back even that act of dominance. The once meaningless power games that Alpha’s and Omega’s play the only thing able to defend him now.  

Jo looked up.  “It makes me sad” she began, one arm reaching for his waist and the other for his shoulder, “that you don’t respect me enough to meet me on time.”

Her hands moved round his back and pulled him down into a hug, squeezing him tightly.  Nails digging into the back of his shirt and unnoticeably clawing at the skin, the only sign any aggression the residual sting when she pulled away.  It was such a tiny thing and it could have been worse.    

“I’m sorry Jo – ” he started.

“- Lets go home.”   She finished. 

Jo patted him on the shoulder and ran her hand down his forearm until her fingers were above his hand.  She let them hang there for a second before they moved away.  Seconds later her hand was on his arm again, gently stroking the tender skin around his wrist.  Not tightly, but still discomfortably firm.

“Cuff?”  she simply said.  It might have been anger.   But the only thing in her voice was surprize. Cuffs were permanent, and legally required to be worn when outside the home.   If it was embroidered or engraved with an Alpha’s name, an Omega might replace it with a cheap one when cheating.   

But that wasn’t Sam’s. It was same from the clinic, and he had left it behind at the meeting.  Still on the table. Undeniable evidence.  

He pulled his arm back.  Her hand stayed in place.  Jo wasn’t stronger than him, but she had all the force she needed to, and all the power.  

Jo gave him a nod.  There were people walking around both of them now, and even if this wasn’t an argument or a fight or anything else he could name, he didn’t like the exposure she had.  This was public, and that wasn’t on his side.  

Her hand released him, and she gave a slight gesture to start walking to the car.  Which they did.  Silently. She didn’t ask. About the cuff, about where he was.  

There was unbearable tension, tinged with something sinister.  

“How was your tute?”  Sam asked, his voice timid when they reached the edge of the carpark.  He turned his head to check she had heard.

“It was a little bland to be honest.   The readings are always a pain for law.”

“It could be worse, we could be doing history!”  He joked. 

“You wouldn’t rather be doing that Sam?   You and Gabriel have a lot of things in common, I would think you would have that too.”  She said.

“I always saw myself as a attorney.  Lawyer.   Judge.  Help people who need it.”  He said and turned his body to look at her fully, trying to gauge if the moment had improved.   “And besides, with my GPA so far, it wouldn’t be so hard to continue on.”

“Sam. An Omega _lawyer_?  This isn’t legally cuffed!”  Scoffed Jo and finally turned to look at him sincerely.  If there was anger it had simmered away, and now the only thing that remained was an indulgent heaping of pity.   She still looked disappointed.  The whole thing was carved into his chest like a warm spoon through ice cream.  

They walked up the line of cars and she clicked to open it.  They both went round to the passenger side, Sam opening the door and Jo putting her back on his lap.  

 “You dropped this.”  She said, handing him a tiny flyer with the Equality Alternative event, and then shut the car door.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again very sorry for the late posting. Personal stuff always has a way of creeping up on you, but hopefully it will even out soon. *fingers crossed* And the assessments might settle down. But we can only have so many wishes. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	24. Chapter 24

 

Turning the knob on the radio, the entire apartment went silent.   Cas sat back down at the table, and perched forward on the seat, returning to the page with more focus.  The day’s paper was unopened in front of him, the cover enough.  The image on the front and start of the story enough to transfix him in thought, steeped with worry.  

He flicked the page over, the wall of text and lists of names making it hard to read the story.  He scanned them quickly and with no recognition, his eyes going back a second time to be sure, hoping that nothing was missing. 

He pressed the name and held the phone and waited for the ringing to stop, not letting a beat pass, “Dean – is everything ok there?”

“Yeah Cas, Just pulled over.  Traffics not too bad, I should be back soon.  ... Is everything ok?”  Dean asked.

“Everything’s fine?  Are you sure?”

 “Yes.  What’s wrong?”  Dean asked, looking out the window at the onslaught of cars passing him.  It looked normal, both lanes full, but flowing.  “Has something happened?”

“There’s been riots in Washington.  Tear gas, water cannons, and a handful of arrests – it’s the worst they’re reporting.”  Cas said, “It’s probably worse, I don’t know.”

“We are nowhere near Washington?”  Dean asked, confused.

“I know, but I worry.” Cas took a breath, and unclenched his hands from the phone.  “They said it was even worse than the suffrage protests a couple years back.” 

“Even they took time to get going.  If they didn’t give a warning then – ”

“- They said they are instituting a nation wide curfew this time. Effect immediately.  Omega’s aren’t to leave homes from 9pm to 9am, or without Alpha’s. ”  

Dean’s head rolled back against the car seat and took a long breath. “That’s downright funkytown.  Who said?” 

Cas paused, and then said quietly “Newspaper”

Dean laughed, “God you are a dinosaur!”

“But I am a sexy dinosaur – together we rule the primitive grassless landscape with a feathered bodies and soon to be hollow bones.”  Cas said haughtily through the phone line.

“I’d love to do the whole phone thing, but there’s too many people driving past Cas” Dean said. 

“I wasn’t trying to” Cas said, “I was sincere in my suggestion, just 35 million years too late.”  

Dean sighed, more fondly than seemed possible, “I’ll be back soon, is there anything I can get you?” 

“There is one thing.  You should call your brother.”

There was a pause, and Cas bit his lip. This didn’t seem out of bounds, but he could hear Dean take a breath through the phone.  

“Of course. Thanks for reminding me” Dean replied and hung up. 

*******

Gabriel was standing outside the museum when Anna pulled up to pick him up.    It closed early most weekdays.  She waved at him through window and went to park away from the drop off zone.   

Her face was unsmiling, when she got out at the curb, eyes concerned, but that didn’t make a change from usual.  Even among the most sympathetic friends she held herself close to her own chest.   That mousy quality that perfumed her being came into its own with anything worrisome, and this was a field day.   

“Gabriel” She said with a quiet enthusiasm, “Have you heard the news?”  

“Well a rather controversial paper was published in the journal of Norse mythology.   You’ve driven here for nothing,” He put a hand on her shoulder and looked exaggeratedly apologetic, “I’m sorry.”  

Now, at the very least she was smiling.   Her face smiled, but to see _her_ smile, a reaction of genuine glee was a rare sight, and one which Gabriel had only seen on a few occasions.   Had the situation been different, this day might have been one of them.  Instead she looked at him like there was a dying dog in the back of the car and needed him to drive to the vet.     

When she had finished, Gabriel was silent.  Which was a change for them.  He had been too young to remember the suffrage protests, but they had been more than enough to protest during his life.   And now, it seemed it would happen whether he liked it or not.  The flicker that was the anger within him blackened his insides again, no longer a mere warming flame.    

He took a moment, and then asked, “Is Sam ok?”

“He’s with Jo, Gabriel,” she replied, “of course he is.”  

Gabriel looked over at her and turned the key to the ignition, “you and I both know that’s a lie Anna,” he said quietly.     

*******

Sam shut the door of his room and sat on the bed.   His elbows were pushing into his knees, his face flat against his palms.  He took a few breaths.

There was a knock at the door.

“I don’t want to be a part of your pack anymore.”  The words falling out of his mouth.  So naturally, and yet they might have well reshaped his jaw.

His eyes were open, staring at the floor.  Should he have seen his face, it was somewhere between abject terror and resolution.   It was blasphemous.   The ‘want’ as opposed to some legitimate reason.  The gall of it, as if it mattered how he felt, when he had done wrong.

The hard footsteps entered the room.

He opened his mouth again, to…  recant?   To explain?   Or, god forbid, elaborate.  He wanted to close his eyes, but he kept them fixated on the carpet.   He couldn’t close them.  He was stuck and the moment carried through into the next.  

She moved closer, and in his periphery through his fingers he could see the dreaded outline of what was coming.  There was no doubt in his mind anymore, not a single drop to permeate through him when he needed it most.  Doubt being all that’s left when hope leaves.  

He pressed his face down, and could feel his heart-rate in his hands against his face.  His legs were on the verge of shaking, any moment giving out.   But even the climbing urge to throw up was nothing compared to the fear within him.

There was nothing to do.  All the thoughts had been cleared from his mind.    It was blank.  That statement was blank.   It meant nothing anymore.   Regret and apology were the only things left.

Sam looked up, expecting the worst. 

It was Gabriel.  Jo wouldn’t have knocked.  

“Sam?”  

“Why didn’t you say anything?”  Sam mumbled into his hands.  There was no strength in his throat. 

“Your shaking Sam!  My god.”   He said, looking as terrifyingly worried as Sam had felt a moment ago.

“I’m fine Gabriel.”  He spoke, his lips moving no sound coming out.   Just a puff of air.

Gabriel sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around Sam.  The door was closed, and usually that would have mattered, but it didn’t matter.  Not when Sam was like this. 

“I don’t know if you want to talk about it, but…..”  Gabriel looked at him.   Stared down at him and stopped.   Taking a moment, he closed the door properly and sat on the bed.   A inch between them while Sam looked down.

Gabriel tried again.  He wasn’t sure what to say.   He knew he needed to try, this was Sam, at the very least, he couldn’t leave him like this.

 “…but…  I thought you should know I heard what you said.”    Gabriel began.  And left it there. 

It was just them two in the room, and any other time that might have been nice, in ways that really didn’t matter given the current situation of their lives.

Sam moved closer and pressed his shoulder against Gabriel.   His arms were still, but his feet still felt frigid, and the numbness extended up his legs.  

Gabriel’s body was warm and he wanted to press further into it.   He felt a hand move around his back, his eyes were closed and the motion was a small comfort.

“You face is wet Sam.”  Gabriel said, looking at him, his face ever more worried, his mouth opening to add to the statement but there was nothing to say.

Gabe heard a hitch in Sam’s throat.   He couldn’t see through his hands, but it seemed like he was silently crying, no longer shaking.    Sam could still feel his heartbeat in his hands, beat calming but still there.

Gabriel held him closer.

 “Tell me what you need Sam.  Anything I can do.  Anything.”   He said quietly into Sam’s shoulder.   Not a desperate plea the words sounded like, but a genuine admission of wanting to help.  And in the moment, he would have only trusted that to come from Gabriel.

Sam pulled his head up and looked at Gabriel.  Nothing was filling his mind, it kept hitting the back and sides, expanding outwards and pressing against his skull.  Pounding.  Emptyness catalysing with fear.  It bulged against the back of his eyes, where tears were still running intermittently from.   

Gabriel pulled him into a hug and let his hands sit firmly at his back.   It wasn’t going to end soon.   The gesture was enough, and it endured as long as it need.

Sam’s phone buzzed on the bedside table.  Reluctantly, he answered.

It was Dean.   And it was nice to hear his brother’s voice.    “Hey Sam?  Do you want to come to dinner tonight?” 

 

***

 

Mockingly, Dean looked over at his brother.   Sam had just cut off the last piece of steak fat and pushed it to the side of his plate.   They were at Castiel’s apartment, the little table in kitchen enough for three people.   Today’s newspaper pushed to the side.  

Castiel looked at the both of him with confusion.   His eyes moved back to Sam, reading his face.

Sam smiled, “I’m fine.  But you two cut each other off like an old married couple.”  Sam replied, almost laughing. “It’s sweet, really.”  To anyone but his brother, Sam’s laugh might have seemed sincere. 

“I promised Jo we’d ‘help’ you – ”  Dean said.

“ ‘sought him out’ was the exact phrasing,” interjected Cas with a clenched jaw.  

“We can’t do that if you avoid the question all night.” Dean said, he looked over at the clock, “It’s almost 8:30.  Time’s ticking.”

Sam looked at both of them with confusion.    “Jo?”  

Dean shot another look to Cas, who answered.  “Given you were invited to dinner with an Alpha, its polite to call.  I don’t know enough about Jo, but that’s the custom.”

“I….?”  Sam started, before looking back over to Cas.  He was lovely, by all accounts, and if the evening was anything to go by, a near perfect match for his brother given the girls Dean usually dated.    But Cas was still an Alpha, and that gave him reason to worry. 

  
Now they were looking at him.  He opened his mouth.  His words were paced out and too certain.  Like a mantra he was still teaching himself,  “Jo is just worried about me.”   

“Why?” Dean asked, “I get that she’s your girlfriend but this is taking it to the extreme isn’t it?”

Both Sam and Cas turned to look at him.  

“She’s not my girlfriend, she’s -  ”  Sam began answering.

“- then even more strange for this level of concern.”  Dean cut in.

Cas looked at the both of them and cleared his throat loudly.     “Jo is well within her rights to be concerned.”  He looked over at Sam more intently, “As we all are.   Your brother is concerned, just about the wrong things.” 

Dean pulled a face.  “I’m not  -”

Cas paid no mind, continuing speaking, “Jo said you were rebellious?”

“I?”  Sam almost whispered.  He didn’t know Cas well enough to answer properly.  

“…. It’s fine.  It’s nothing.”  He said, defensively.  

“Ok.   If it’s nothing, how does she think we can help?  I’m a Beta, and Cas is hardly the poster boy for that stuff. ” Dean said.  

Sam looked up, and replied “No idea” as casually as he could.  There was care here, he wasn’t so blind and afraid of them as to think they didn’t at least have his best interests at heart.  Or at least he hoped that wasn’t naive to think that.  But Cas was a stumbling block, but he was also the translator for his brother.   

“Seriously?”  Dean snorted, “Look, you’ve been more than a little distant in the past month or two.  I know it’s been difficult – dealing with - ”  he gestured up and down Sam’s body, holding his hand in the direction of his abdomen, “ all that.  But this is relationship advice.  I don’t think you’ve come to the right people.”   

“I’m not the one who wants it.”  Sam said coldly.  

Dean sat back in his chair and huffed.  

Sam wanted to explain.  But he held his tongue.   He held his tongue for the same reason he held his tongue before Jo.  And for the same reason he didn’t around Gabriel.   The same reason he was here tonight. 

He was an Omega.  A little addendum to everything.   

The silence dragged on.   He wanted to hate his brother, but Dean didn’t understand, and the frustration he could sense was overwhelming.   From both ends.  There was nothing to be done.  

He set his fork and knife down and took a sip of his water.  Dean was finishing the last of his steak.  Cas was moving the beans around his plate.  The scrape of the cutlery hardly helped the moment.

 “Jo wants you to love her.”   Cas said abruptly.   He shifted his shoulders, his crossed arms leaning against the table, still staring intently at Sam.   “And you don’t.” 

“No” Sam said abruptly, “I….”   He was at a junction.  He trusted his brother, who could be an insensitive asshole, although he wasn’t alone in that.   But the other hand might be a clenched fist and knuckle ring.  Cas had the visceral scent of an Alpha, and there was every capacity behind that pensive look to make him regret opening his mouth. 

 “…don’t.”   He finished quietly.   He was sick of it.   And maybe it was the goddamn wine.   But after the day he had had what was the worst that could happen?

“I don’t.”  He repeated with resoluteness in his voice, something that had not entirely been lost, despite everything.         

Cas looked at him and nodded as slightly as he was able.

Dean was staring at the both of them.    “Of course you don’t love Jo.   You’ve only been together for what, two months?”

“But she’s my Alpha.”

“And Cas is mine.”  Dean replied slowly, like the situation was that simple.

Cas sat back.  

“Not in the same way.  It’s entirely different, it’s…   I.”  Sam began, trying to explain a concept that was still being engrained.  A concept that had been guiding him the whole day, and he didn’t quite know how to explain.   It permeated him, or it was leaching out from within now.  He wasn’t really sure how to begin.  It was simple and it was complicated and his brother didn’t understand.

But Cas did, and Cas gave him a nod.   Somehow the perfect combination of reassuring and daunting, but at least it wasn’t patronising.   

Sam looked over at them, and stopped his thoughts.  He didn’t know what else to say.   “I’m detecting so many notes in this wine Dean.   All off them off-key.”  

Castiel looked at him blankly and then smiled.  “I would have gone with ‘all of them flat’ but that also works.”

Dean laughed and sat the glass down, “I’d rather something with a healthy burn on the way down.  Now stop stalling.”  

Sam sighed.  This was hardly the worst part of the afternoon.    By any account.   Ignoring what had happened with Gabriel, which still felt like floss around his oesophagus.

The look Jo had given after they had gotten in the car with him had been excruciating.  Going home hadn't been much better.   Disappointed silence rarely is, even if it feels undeserved.   It was deserved, and it definitely was deserved.   Two parts of his brain clawing for truth, and since he had had to at least act remorseful, that side one out.   But the car ride had only had two truly searingly wretched moments, if the whole wretched day wasn't to be counted.

 

"Sam.    I trust you."   She had said.  

In another circumstance it might have been a double edged sword, here it was only a dagger.  A sharp one with no exterior motive.   If she wanted to do away with that, she could have just kicked him in the gut. 

... Literally.

"And again you betray that trust."  

"I -"  Sam started.

"When _spoken_ to Sam.   Seriously?  You've already broken through the ice, drop the FUCKING PICK AXE OR I MIGHT DAMN NEAR PICK IT UP!"

He retreated as close as he could get the window.  She took a breath.

"I am -" she started, a hand coming off the wheel to gesture out the thinly veiled anger  

"You need to cool down."   He said suddenly.  It slipped out, like nothing, as if you could just say that.   That kept happening today. 

She saw red.   His mind skimmed past the memory. 

 

The other moment was when they turned into the street.    Not because of the words, but because he came close to believing them.  Too close.

“You know I’m the only one that really cares about you, right?” 

She had said it so coolly.   The flat and naked truth.     Not that it was.  The problem was, the chilling problem, was that it had taken effort to see the lie.  Which seemed odd now, even with a few hours hindsight. 

And it seemed such an odd thing to explain, now staring at both his brother and his strange Alpha.   So he started with something that couldn’t burn his throat anymore, and something he knew to be true:

“I don’t want to be a part of her pack anymore.”

 

The clock passed 9.  He wouldn’t see Jo until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back. From assignments, sickness and general life things that start getting in the way. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, while not writing I have been contemplating Sam a lot. Oh - and new season of SPN, which is always good, you always forget with au's. 
> 
> Forgive me? I don't expect you to, but at the very least, this fic is not forgotten, and it certainly isn't abandoned.  
> Thankyou for your patience, it is really appreciated :)


	25. Chapter 25

Morning inevitably came.   The night at Cas’s had been long, not just for the couch, but for the worry.   It was everpresent and it sank deeper inside him, twisting with guilt and fear.   By the time Sam had made it home, there was a part of him that thought maybe it was rational.   

The house was disconcertingly quiet, everyone probably being asleep.  He walked through to his bedroom, Jo’s door was closed, and there was no way of knowing whether that was a good sign.   It didn’t really matter anymore, there was nothing to prevent her from hurting him.  Maybe not physically; maybe.   Despite wanting to never think about it, to get through the morning and then the afternoon. To let every day come and pass and each hour the sole focus of his mind at a time until the only thing he had to deal with was momentary concerns. 

Despite this, he found his mind circling back to the thought of leaving the pack.  A ravenous vulture waiting for the idea to settle and die before picking at the newly decaying strips of flesh.   The thought was irremovable, but everything around it stood as solid as air currents the idea soared upon.

He reached his room and pressed his fingers tightly around the knob, slowly turning it and feeling the door swing slowly forward just enough to slip through and close behind him.     

He took off his clothes and crawled into bed.  Putting off thought and action for another few hours.

 

***

For all the confliction Sam was feeling, he couldn't face seeing Jo.  And thankfully, whatever mercy permitted it, Sam managed to shower and leave without so much as seeing Jo.  Maybe she also didn't want to see him, but that was wishful thinking after a long nap.

 

He made it to the museum in time to see Gabriel before closing time in the late afternoon.   It was comforting to see him, and the day was beginning to feel like more off a success.   Sam felt lost in it, but this made him happy and for the moment that was what he needed.

The hug was a second to brief.   Pulling away with a quick pat on the back.   Sam let his hand drop, but inhaled anyway.   He wanted to press his face into his neck and take in the entirety of the scent, keep his face there until there was no doubt in his mind it would be a memory he could revel in, like the joy of a dog rolling in rabbit shit.        

“You ok Sam?”  Gabriel asked, concerned.   “I tell you, concentrate all you like, but the mysteries of the cosmos are not on my face.  A better mystery – how was the EA meeting yesterday?”

“I thought about telling Jo.  Now I don’t need to,” Sam replied.  He took a breath.  “You should come next time,” he added with a smile, “I’d like the company.”

Maybe it was too optimistic to think he would ever go again, but with Gabriel he had hope.  

“I don’t think we could both be out of the house at their official meeting times without Jo catching on.” Gabriel replied a little confused.   “Is everything ok?”

Sam asked instead, “When’s closing time?”

Gabriel turned to the desk and flicked off the lights, the rest of the building along with the small foyer going dark.   He then opened the door to the main hall and held it for Sam, who tentatively walked through.   He followed Gabe to the back of the room, stopping in the corner next to the bench behind the large glass case of a Nordic Hammer.

“There Sam.  Now we have all night.  What’s up?”  He said, gesturing for him to sit down.

Sam looked at Gabriel.  The darkness felt safer, and the cold silence was an odd comfort.  But it was nothing compared to not being alone.  The offer enough to make him feel better.

“I think I've made a mistake.”  Sam said eventually.  

“I wouldn't have gone with that print of plaid either, but I don’t think that’s why you’re here Sam.”  Gabriel replied, he nudged his shoulder closer. 

Sam didn't reply.  There were too many things to say.  He needed to stall. 

 

The lights were off in the back of the exhibit hall, and the faint glow from the illuminated cabinets cast odd shadows, the objects shining from there cases and casting shapes against the wall.   Sam and Gabriel the only large figures the room without dramatic silhouettes.   Both blending into the background.

 

“Is that a- ?”  Sam gestured to the decoration on the Nordic hammer.   It was oversized for the case, a fact accentuated by the little worn pendants in a similar shape surrounded it.  There was only piece of decoration on the thing, and in this light, it was hard to make out, but it seemed to be a dick.

“It’s actually a fake – you don’t find them with large hulking phallus’s in actual burials.  The pendants are real, but we needed something to attract people’s attention, and this was donated by a reenactment club.  It suits the theme of this whole room, ‘modern perceptions and reinterpretation’.

Gabe stood up and stood up a cardboard cutout of Chris Hemsworth.  “See -  lets bastardise history a little bit more.  That’s all we need.”

There was a silence, Sam didn't really know what to say to that.  Remarking on anything felt out of place.  However, it was nice to see the ambitious side of Gabriel, the one that too often felt dulled by their lives.   It was nice also to see a rare side not often shared, but now with him.   The selfish part of Sam thought over the fact this was probably not a part Jo was well acquainted with, if at all.

Gabriel added, “But if you asked me Sam, you know I would be there.”  

Sam nodded, it took him a second to realise it was the EA meeting Gabriel was referencing, but it was also true that if Sam asked, Gabriel would be there.  

They passed through the end of the hallway and turned into the next room, which seemed smaller, with no way of knowing what was inside with the lights off.  Gabriel led forward.  

“You keep my secret, I keep yours.”

“What secret Gabriel?”

“Don’t make me say it Sam,” his eyes were cast across Sam’s face, his voice pleading, “I’ve been trying to hide this longer than -   Please Sam.” 

Sam moved forward with Gabriel, and unlike last time in the back alley, they kissed again.   There was no passion, or tongue, really just surprise at the sudden closeness of the face. 

“Is this what you want?”   It took more than he had to pull away and talk rationally about the issue.  A muffled “sure?” was asked amongst the kiss. Gabriel’s arms were holding Sam’s arms, he pulled their faces apart and looked him as sternly in the eye as the moment allowed.

Gabriel opened his mouth to say something.  To ask the question that he didn’t want to think but needed an answer.   ‘Do you like me?’  ‘Do you really honestly like me or this something I’m going to regret down the line’ and deeper down, somewhere swirling in confliction and the emotional trauma of denying oneself and hiding, ‘Are you just doing this to hurt me?’

His eyes flicked down to Sam’s lips and then to his eyes.   “What’s changed Sam?”  He asked, hesitant.  He didn’t dare move.  Twitch a muscle and they might both decide that this was too much.   Everything fall apart and never speak again.  Shatter and break him inside more than he felt Sam could ever understand. 

Gabriel’s face was too close in his vision to for Sam to focus.  There was nothing in his periphery but pleading eyes and a scalding desperation.   The rise and fall of their chests telling him that time was passing and an answer was needed.  Words.  Answer.  Explanation.  “Yes”

Gabriel let go.  He pulled himself back half a space, barely enough breathing room, but it might have well have been the ocean floor. 

“Yes?”   Gabriel asked.  He was breathing heavy.  They both were breathing heavy.   It made no sense and it made perfect sense.   He took another lungful and stood up straighter, letting his vision drop.    And then laughing a little bit. 

“Yes, I like you Gabriel.”  Sam spoke. 

“I won’t go down in history” Gabe said, standing up on the seat.  “But I will go down on y-”  

The last word was caught in Sam’s mouth.  The sentence lost in a kiss, Sam’s arms around Gabriel’s neck, leaning down against

Sam wanted Gabriel, but he also wanted to stick his middle finger to the system.    And right at that moment, he wanted also to stick it to Gabriel.  Fingers finding their way across the back of both pairs of jeans, grabbing and tugging at the flesh underneath. 

He wanted to drown himself in the emotion of the moment, the raw feelings he couldn't address.   Drown everything about Jo, to watch the tide swell until even he couldn't cope with the torrent of it all.  Maybe that wasn't healthy, but at that moment he was too needy to question whether he was using Gabriel as a coping method.   

Sam heard Gabriel’s laugh.  There was no doubt in his mind that Gabriel didn’t feel for him immensely.   That joyous happy sound that only came with deep smiles and indented laugh lines.   He knew Gabriel liked him back.  He knew that he was enjoying this, but there was a small part of him that wondered if he was doing this, liking this, only because it hurt Jo.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello? It has been a long while. 
> 
> Thankyou guys for all your support, it means the world. I feel terribly guilty for not having the decency to finish what I started. But I assure you, it is coming, slowly and steadily, and as painfully as I can make it. I found myself somewhat swept up over the summer (winter for all of you north of the equator), and now am settling back into a more stable timetable hopefully I will get to write more. At the very least, I promise to finish this. 
> 
> Have a wonderful day :)


End file.
